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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means generating the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tension with your ex.
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Subject Started by Replies Views Last post
WHO SHOULD POST ON THIS BOARD? BPDFamily 1 24146 Last post December 29, 2014, 01:27:39 PM
by livednlearned
CO-PARENTING: Doing what’s best for the kids BPDFamily 6 3414 Last post January 04, 2011, 11:14:41 PM
by BPDFamily
To the daddies of children with a Borderline mother. « 1 2 3 4  All » frtbt2 38 10672 Last post Today at 05:32:47 PM
by Panda39
Learned behaviors from BM showing up in SS15 PinkieV 2 80 Last post Today at 11:14:14 AM
by livednlearned
Balanced way to deal with book we let SD9 read? kells76 4 131 Last post Yesterday at 07:32:32 PM
by livednlearned
NPD/BPDexH contacting me during his honeymoon Ulysses 5 139 Last post Yesterday at 02:59:45 PM
by Ulysses
STBX wants to be a parenting "TEAM" Tansy 2 74 Last post Yesterday at 11:13:56 AM
by Tansy
need input and opinions Eco 2 60 Last post August 28, 2015, 10:27:49 AM
by ambivalentmom
Need advise..... Jeansok 4 177 Last post August 28, 2015, 08:01:00 AM
by whirlpoollife
ex's kid contacted me asking for help with schooling English Sid 5 190 Last post August 26, 2015, 06:56:51 PM
by ReclaimingMyLife
Increased alienation of child aftert restraining order put in place newlifeBPDfree 4 143 Last post August 25, 2015, 04:43:05 PM
by newlifeBPDfree
Ex is using 4 year old to find out information on me « 1 2  All » razemarie 11 348 Last post August 24, 2015, 11:07:28 AM
by razemarie
Daughter w Down syndrome skipping school Not2Crazy 3 142 Last post August 23, 2015, 06:51:06 PM
by momtara
High Conflict Divorce/Parental Alienation in the News in Detroit « 1 2 3  All » Panda39 28 745 Last post August 22, 2015, 11:40:45 PM
by MaybeSo
Watching my TeenSon follow the BPD Parent's Chaotic example AnnaChase3 0 59 Last post August 22, 2015, 11:12:24 PM
by AnnaChase3
The pattern continues Eco 1 156 Last post August 22, 2015, 01:57:34 AM
by js friend
S5 Very Angry, Wants Mom, God, and Himself To Die Turkish 5 203 Last post August 19, 2015, 05:42:13 PM
by Turkish
9 months post breakup BrokenFamily 1 79 Last post August 18, 2015, 09:44:24 PM
by Jeansok
How to react to boundary busting Cmjo 3 174 Last post August 18, 2015, 08:28:48 AM
by livednlearned
MOVED: I have one year girl and need to divorce my spouse Turkish 0 37 Last post August 18, 2015, 01:09:57 AM
by Turkish
phone apps Eco 3 128 Last post August 17, 2015, 06:07:56 PM
by Eco
ubpdxw thinks D10 should be able to choose where to stay rubyhammer 5 215 Last post August 17, 2015, 02:26:05 PM
by Thunderstruck
Stepmom.vs mom Stefsask 2 137 Last post August 16, 2015, 12:40:26 PM
by livednlearned
S5 Angry At Mom, Validation Issue Turkish 9 288 Last post August 16, 2015, 01:25:02 AM
by Turkish
When boundaries appear to have worked too well. Nope 9 345 Last post August 14, 2015, 02:19:12 PM
by livednlearned
Kelly Rutherford in the news Slate78 1 197 Last post August 14, 2015, 12:07:18 PM
by ForeverDad
how BPD changed my life. lbh716 1 88 Last post August 13, 2015, 10:41:36 PM
by Turkish
Sort of depressing after a year of good cheer... ennie 3 161 Last post August 13, 2015, 06:17:53 PM
by DreamGirl
Exchange Thunderstruck 6 191 Last post August 13, 2015, 02:58:15 PM
by Thunderstruck
Introduction mrsj 2 85 Last post August 13, 2015, 02:36:22 PM
by DreamGirl
S5 AboutTo Start School, Mom Already Anxious Turkish 2 103 Last post August 12, 2015, 08:39:48 AM
by Turkish
What would you do? mother in law 3 184 Last post August 12, 2015, 02:20:01 AM
by mother in law
MOVED: Losing my family Turkish 0 48 Last post August 11, 2015, 12:09:58 PM
by Turkish
Introduction Wombat15 1 79 Last post August 10, 2015, 11:55:57 PM
by Turkish
Fair Fighting Rules « 1 2  All » Skip 12 15740 Last post August 08, 2015, 08:21:37 AM
by ASD
Back on track Eco 4 129 Last post August 07, 2015, 09:44:36 PM
by Eco
smear campaign iwillbeatthis 1 123 Last post August 07, 2015, 11:01:12 AM
by Deb
How Do I Validate a Childs Attempt To Understand? bravhart1 2 136 Last post August 07, 2015, 07:53:38 AM
by Nope
kids won't respond to my texts/calls « 1 2  All » truthbeknown 14 318 Last post August 06, 2015, 09:45:36 PM
by ProfDaddy
Strained relationship with daughter not getting better newlifeBPDfree 5 158 Last post August 06, 2015, 07:12:35 AM
by ambivalentmom
I Finally Have Contact with His Wife ambivalentmom 1 85 Last post August 05, 2015, 04:40:09 PM
by ambivalentmom
The new school year Swiggle 6 160 Last post August 05, 2015, 11:08:16 AM
by Thunderstruck
Co-parenting with a BPD who keeps trying to "win". Yayalupi 3 227 Last post August 05, 2015, 10:19:36 AM
by momtara
Can't read D on her birthday « 1 2  All » Ulysses 12 245 Last post August 03, 2015, 08:32:09 PM
by Turkish
How To Validate This? Turkish 6 171 Last post August 02, 2015, 11:13:24 PM
by Turkish
Im in the weeds pretty deep « 1 2  All » Eco 14 355 Last post August 01, 2015, 01:02:15 AM
by Eco
SD10s frustration Thunderstruck 8 204 Last post July 30, 2015, 01:02:18 PM
by Thunderstruck
Can exH delegate co-parenting to new (almost)stepmom? « 1 2  All » Ulysses 18 462 Last post July 30, 2015, 12:49:16 AM
by Ulysses
Hodgepodge Turkish 2 152 Last post July 29, 2015, 11:35:44 PM
by Turkish
Should I give in to reduce summer week with D7 for new uBPDxw family plans? forestfortrees 5 172 Last post July 27, 2015, 11:14:35 AM
by ForeverDad
Out of state « 1 2  All » Eco 15 429 Last post July 27, 2015, 09:26:41 AM
by ForeverDad
Mother losing custody, what to expect? LongRoad 8 491 Last post July 27, 2015, 08:12:08 AM
by ForeverDad
Well she did it again « 1 2 3 4  All » Panda39 39 1334 Last post July 23, 2015, 02:52:14 PM
by ForeverDad
Co-parenting with someone that can't admit to anything. « 1 2  All » Nikhed15 15 333 Last post July 23, 2015, 11:04:26 AM
by Sunfl0wer
Mom poised to pull kids out of school « 1 2 3 4  All » kells76 37 792 Last post July 22, 2015, 05:48:46 PM
by kells76
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