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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means generating the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tension with your ex.
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Subject Started by Replies Views Last post
WHO SHOULD POST ON THIS BOARD? BPDFamily 1 23688 Last post December 29, 2014, 01:27:39 PM
by livednlearned
CO-PARENTING: Doing what’s best for the kids BPDFamily 6 2495 Last post January 04, 2011, 11:14:41 PM
by BPDFamily
fatigue Eco 6 124 Last post Today at 11:38:52 AM
by whirlpoollife
BPDXw, adult children wanting no contact Forestaken 6 111 Last post Today at 11:33:37 AM
by ForeverDad
Twilight zone Eco 7 190 Last post July 04, 2015, 03:20:41 PM
by Eco
just an introduction pipefish 2 65 Last post July 03, 2015, 09:01:34 PM
by Panda39
Mom poised to pull kids out of school « 1 2 3  All » kells76 20 314 Last post July 02, 2015, 11:48:10 PM
by ForeverDad
Kids being brianwash into NOT going to or misbehaving in school? trying2coparent 6 96 Last post July 02, 2015, 08:44:23 PM
by Panda39
Well she did it again « 1 2 3  All » Panda39 21 479 Last post July 02, 2015, 07:39:12 PM
by PinkieV
ROFR and not Being the Dad scraps66 3 93 Last post July 02, 2015, 06:16:18 PM
by Eco
Intro: Possible BPDxh, D12, and Maybe Lucky ambivalentmom 1 41 Last post July 02, 2015, 04:25:12 PM
by Turkish
self awareness? rarsweet 2 58 Last post July 02, 2015, 07:26:27 AM
by rarsweet
Troubling idea from my nine year old half-life 3 147 Last post July 01, 2015, 04:29:47 PM
by half-life
Movie: Inside Out half-life 6 169 Last post July 01, 2015, 01:42:28 PM
by Forestaken
Help Navigating A Visit from the Kids Bio Mom Nope 6 104 Last post July 01, 2015, 12:21:58 PM
by PinkieV
Need help - BPDw wants to accompany son to see grandparents takingandsending 3 69 Last post July 01, 2015, 11:31:09 AM
by takingandsending
Vacation « 1 2  All » Eco 13 217 Last post June 30, 2015, 11:50:44 PM
by Eco
My ex is losing it Eco 3 114 Last post June 30, 2015, 11:43:59 PM
by Eco
What to do? « 1 2  All » bravhart1 15 384 Last post June 29, 2015, 12:40:02 AM
by bravhart1
When does a child become painted black? takingandsending 4 172 Last post June 27, 2015, 11:31:18 AM
by livednlearned
Programming a Child While With Other Parent? scraps66 7 187 Last post June 26, 2015, 09:02:36 AM
by livednlearned
vacation question truthbeknown 8 184 Last post June 25, 2015, 06:14:09 AM
by truthbeknown
Another failing relationship with a BDP woman Atlasdespair 4 135 Last post June 23, 2015, 02:26:52 PM
by momtara
jobless still rarsweet 5 117 Last post June 23, 2015, 11:25:27 AM
by bravhart1
Happy (belated) Father's Day Thunderstruck 1 84 Last post June 22, 2015, 01:41:53 PM
by Turkish
Mother losing custody, what to expect? LongRoad 7 214 Last post June 22, 2015, 01:17:56 PM
by ForeverDad
quick post - need response advice - ex asks to come along on trip w/kids momtara 7 165 Last post June 22, 2015, 01:08:24 AM
by whirlpoollife
Deep wisdom needed ennie 8 204 Last post June 21, 2015, 09:15:55 AM
by livednlearned
Opinions please « 1 2  All » Eco 10 246 Last post June 21, 2015, 01:07:43 AM
by Eco
Controlling father Cmjo 1 82 Last post June 20, 2015, 04:11:52 PM
by livednlearned
S7 meets GAD criteria, possibly ADHD and mother with BPD traits « 1 2  All » Mutt 17 271 Last post June 20, 2015, 11:51:26 AM
by Mutt
I thought I was done ShaSha 8 200 Last post June 19, 2015, 03:38:21 PM
by Gagrl
MOVED: I married my high school sweetheart. livednlearned 0 42 Last post June 19, 2015, 02:34:27 PM
by livednlearned
gatekeeping? rarsweet 6 179 Last post June 18, 2015, 05:04:53 PM
by ForeverDad
painted white? rarsweet 2 90 Last post June 18, 2015, 01:18:08 PM
by rarsweet
"harm avoidance" in children with BPD mothers livednlearned 9 234 Last post June 17, 2015, 11:45:03 AM
by bravhart1
Testing times Ripped Heart 2 137 Last post June 17, 2015, 11:17:39 AM
by Thunderstruck
pretty proud of myself DestroyedKnight 2 136 Last post June 17, 2015, 11:09:03 AM
by Thunderstruck
Strange times ennie 7 222 Last post June 16, 2015, 10:38:02 PM
by ennie
Any experience with ex spouse's stalkerish behavior? « 1 2  All » goateeki 16 305 Last post June 16, 2015, 10:25:25 AM
by goateeki
Banging my head against a brick wall.so upset right now DestroyedKnight 0 67 Last post June 15, 2015, 01:16:01 PM
by DestroyedKnight
My sons have left their mum to live with me. enlighten me 4 130 Last post June 15, 2015, 12:13:43 PM
by enlighten me
Group texts/ emails Slate78 3 143 Last post June 15, 2015, 10:51:50 AM
by livednlearned
I want one hour... bravhart1 5 149 Last post June 14, 2015, 08:24:45 AM
by Nope
Deliberate manipulation and PAS « 1 2  All » bravhart1 10 309 Last post June 12, 2015, 09:52:37 PM
by bravhart1
BPD BM punishing SS15 PinkieV 2 117 Last post June 11, 2015, 01:59:34 PM
by PinkieV
Can i validate a 2 yr old? Eco 4 127 Last post June 10, 2015, 11:36:34 PM
by Eco
180 rarsweet 2 91 Last post June 10, 2015, 09:32:44 PM
by DearBFF
Doctor isnt getting it Eco 4 156 Last post June 09, 2015, 07:39:29 PM
by Eco
Moral dilemma Eco 8 178 Last post June 09, 2015, 07:00:35 PM
by Eco
uPDxw Drama - the gift that keeps on giving Waddams 5 248 Last post June 08, 2015, 03:18:18 PM
by Waddams
No wonder S10 hates you « 1 2  All » scraps66 14 492 Last post June 08, 2015, 12:04:41 AM
by JIMB
First summer sharing time with young D7 with ex w BPD forestfortrees 4 115 Last post June 07, 2015, 11:23:53 PM
by forestfortrees
11 yo daughter still sleeping with BPD Mother « 1 2  All » truthbeknown 16 594 Last post June 07, 2015, 09:20:30 PM
by JIMB
SS15 told BM he's staying put with us PinkieV 5 179 Last post June 07, 2015, 09:12:21 AM
by ForeverDad
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