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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means generating the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tension with your ex.
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Subject Started by Replies Views Last post
CO-PARENTING: Doing what’s best for the kids BPDFamily 6 3442 Last post January 04, 2011, 11:14:41 PM
by BPDFamily
WHO SHOULD POST ON THIS BOARD? BPDFamily 1 24157 Last post December 29, 2014, 01:27:39 PM
by livednlearned
How to help my kids deal with their mom, when they don't want it. « 1 2  All » 00bp00 14 1841 Last post March 24, 2010, 05:15:27 AM
by little doggy
(question) RECORDED CONVERSATIONS 01fxdwg2 9 1114 Last post May 02, 2009, 09:01:58 PM
by Skip
Bio-mom won't consent to counseling 11yearsToGo 7 294 Last post January 22, 2015, 08:52:44 AM
by david
new and hello 11yearsToGo 1 102 Last post January 12, 2015, 12:18:55 AM
by bravhart1
my ex has BPD traits 154issues 1 210 Last post December 09, 2014, 04:08:53 PM
by DreamGirl
The end of his rope 17years 5 972 Last post April 12, 2006, 01:15:15 PM
by JoannaK
I need him to look after our son and the animals 1KitKat 7 180 Last post May 06, 2014, 06:27:03 PM
by 1KitKat
The Last Straw 1stand10 9 771 Last post May 24, 2012, 01:41:48 PM
by Matt
Kids just returned from spring break with uBPDmother 1stand10 9 956 Last post April 26, 2012, 12:07:26 PM
by Matt
Normal behavior for D9? 1stand10 7 659 Last post February 27, 2012, 03:35:05 PM
by 1stand10
D9's T says D9 is living in a fantasy world - and that it is okay 1stand10 4 523 Last post December 08, 2011, 10:03:01 PM
by david
S14 finally saw stbx uBPDw's behavior 1stand10 0 308 Last post October 13, 2011, 10:31:05 AM
by 1stand10
I stood up for S14 - I want to tell him so bad « 1 2  All » 1stand10 16 1620 Last post August 25, 2011, 03:03:52 PM
by Matt
Daughter 8 started biting herself 1stand10 1 479 Last post November 16, 2010, 05:58:44 AM
by Blossom
It's like clockwork. And I need help with a response. 2bad2stay 9 748 Last post January 23, 2009, 08:00:06 AM
by laurena82
Full of questions today... sleeping arrangements « 1 2  All » 2bad2stay 11 949 Last post January 19, 2009, 01:44:12 PM
by Oy-vey!
Clothing vent « 1 2  All » 2bad2stay 11 990 Last post January 24, 2009, 04:34:50 AM
by UKBird
Quick update on treadingwater's son 2bad2stay 6 731 Last post January 09, 2009, 12:09:35 PM
by Matt
How do you handle phone calls when the kids are with the ex? 2bad2stay 7 687 Last post January 04, 2009, 04:54:36 PM
by safetyfirst
Questions and concerns about the effect on the kids 2bad2stay 4 463 Last post November 17, 2008, 09:12:43 AM
by 2bad2stay
Back and forth with S14 2bad2stay 5 548 Last post October 27, 2008, 10:17:58 AM
by Moving On
Visitation frustration and question 2bad2stay 5 539 Last post October 03, 2008, 09:17:11 AM
by LostAngel99
S14 making life difficult. 2bad2stay 2 399 Last post September 25, 2008, 09:47:42 AM
by 2bad2stay
What goes through his mind? 2bad2stay 3 445 Last post August 27, 2008, 06:20:08 PM
by 2bad2stay
How to deal with re-engagement attempt via the kids 2bad2stay 9 1123 Last post July 28, 2008, 09:28:36 PM
by Gagrl
First visitation scheduled for today, already a problem « 1 2  All » 2bad2stay 10 941 Last post July 25, 2008, 05:44:40 PM
by funefarm4
Adult child just married BPXW nightmare negligence 30plusyears 6 849 Last post September 23, 2010, 02:50:39 PM
by Gagrl
her communication with the kids 4kids 0 326 Last post July 16, 2011, 05:23:53 PM
by 4kids
What should I do? 4theKids 9 1346 Last post September 15, 2009, 09:58:03 AM
by Her Mama
Telling daughter not to tell me things 55suns 4 264 Last post June 29, 2014, 09:38:39 AM
by david
"Because Mommy is Mean" 7971C 3 791 Last post September 22, 2009, 02:09:00 PM
by Scott828
Bad day yesterday 7yearsdrained 1 135 Last post December 30, 2014, 01:45:38 PM
by livednlearned
Ex blows up with Sunday visitation supervisor « 1 2 3 4 5  All » 95685dad 45 3514 Last post June 12, 2009, 06:14:45 PM
by marlo6277
Daughter watched video of older sister when she was same age 95685dad 4 594 Last post May 26, 2009, 10:08:00 PM
by oneflewover
Always something with her... even when she has supervised visits « 1 2 3  All » 95685dad 20 2029 Last post May 22, 2009, 08:24:23 PM
by 95685dad
School said daughter has progressed so much in the last month 95685dad 8 893 Last post April 08, 2009, 11:45:41 PM
by Matt
ex's supervised visitation & other info « 1 2 3  All » 95685dad 26 3183 Last post April 20, 2009, 02:55:42 PM
by 95685dad
Is it really possible to co-parent with an ex BPD? 95685dad 2 939 Last post January 21, 2008, 07:04:30 PM
by 95685dad
constant false allegations (posted on introduction posts) « 1 2 3  All » 95685dad 24 2208 Last post October 26, 2006, 09:03:06 PM
by kyrarae
Will BPD mom have push-pull cycles and splitting with her children A Dad 4 1548 Last post August 09, 2013, 02:36:14 AM
by A Dad
The last one out a hermit 1 478 Last post November 01, 2010, 06:01:50 PM
by DreamGirl
Slippery slope with missing school A Step-Mom 7 802 Last post December 06, 2013, 02:31:28 PM
by A Step-Mom
Therapy for Step-son A Step-Mom 5 514 Last post December 21, 2012, 02:04:39 PM
by A Step-Mom
Worried about step son's safety... « 1 2  All » A Step-Mom 13 859 Last post December 18, 2012, 02:23:07 PM
by DreamGirl
Apology to former stepdaughter? aandersonco 4 635 Last post November 18, 2008, 04:03:35 PM
by aandersonco
Four letter word for a BPD with a Facebook account Abigayle 3 461 Last post September 17, 2013, 11:09:31 PM
by Forward2free
Is BPD hereditary? « 1 2  All » ableft 19 3785 Last post April 18, 2006, 09:04:08 AM
by Peace4us
Need help telling SS11's mom about how his BPD dad has treated us Aboutme2011 2 337 Last post August 03, 2011, 08:57:59 PM
by Aboutme2011
Things that drive me nuts Aboutme2011 5 701 Last post July 13, 2011, 08:45:54 PM
by Matt
First counseling session tomorrow Aboutme2011 0 273 Last post July 04, 2011, 10:34:22 PM
by Aboutme2011
Had a talk with my SS today Aboutme2011 0 290 Last post June 25, 2011, 11:03:53 PM
by Aboutme2011
Where I get lost Aboutme2011 3 467 Last post June 23, 2011, 09:35:22 PM
by Aboutme2011
Is your pwBPD abusive toward their own kids? « 1 2  All » Aboutme2011 13 1397 Last post June 24, 2011, 06:17:24 PM
by Soontobenidan
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