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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means generating the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tension with your ex.
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Subject Started by Replies Views Last post
CO-PARENTING: Doing what’s best for the kids BPDFamily 6 3410 Last post January 04, 2011, 11:14:41 PM
by BPDFamily
WHO SHOULD POST ON THIS BOARD? BPDFamily 1 24139 Last post December 29, 2014, 01:27:39 PM
by livednlearned
"Daddy" ruins plans for Little Bit's birthday... Her Mama 5 705 Last post January 19, 2007, 08:47:41 PM
by Her Mama
(question) RECORDED CONVERSATIONS 01fxdwg2 9 1114 Last post May 02, 2009, 09:01:58 PM
by Skip
a different kid depending on where she is spinning 2 618 Last post October 03, 2006, 08:52:32 AM
by salt
exBPDw claims SHE is thp ugghh 3 237 Last post November 19, 2014, 08:59:12 AM
by ForeverDad
First Day of School - How was it for you? ForeverDad 4 777 Last post August 27, 2009, 11:54:19 AM
by marlo6277
how BPD changed my life. lbh716 1 88 Last post August 13, 2015, 10:41:36 PM
by Turkish
Need Advice: NC or Try and do something for alcoholic BPD? « 1 2  All » confusedhubby 12 867 Last post September 18, 2013, 03:33:16 PM
by allibaba
play hard ball they do LEO 5 706 Last post February 18, 2008, 04:48:45 PM
by LEO
uBPDad emotionally bullying & blackmail son... need advice « 1 2  All » kellaroo 15 2072 Last post October 25, 2006, 12:56:27 PM
by kellaroo
When you come to know copareting isnt possible. LEO 7 927 Last post February 26, 2008, 05:22:08 PM
by LEO
Will you tell us more about yourself? livednlearned 9 710 Last post April 07, 2015, 02:32:26 PM
by SWLSR
" Operating in the GREY area " Access & Visitation « 1 2 3  All » CitizenRalston 20 2173 Last post January 08, 2007, 09:44:56 AM
by laurena82
"and the beat goes on" « 1 2 3  All » ruralstressed 23 2302 Last post May 13, 2007, 09:03:24 PM
by Mount Si
"Be where you're supposed to be, when you're supposed to be there." Matt 5 878 Last post November 23, 2009, 10:49:14 PM
by dutchie
"Because Mommy is Mean" 7971C 3 790 Last post September 22, 2009, 02:09:00 PM
by Scott828
"but dad's not mean anymore..." Forward2free 8 1046 Last post September 24, 2013, 07:18:30 PM
by Forward2free
"Co Parenting" (my first start-up post in this section - EVER) spent18 9 841 Last post March 12, 2008, 01:36:16 PM
by spent18
"Don't talk about my dad like that... " « 1 2  All » DreamGirl 16 2123 Last post January 27, 2010, 01:09:48 PM
by PDQuick
"emergency" phone call from BioM problemfamily 7 641 Last post September 01, 2008, 09:55:14 AM
by Stepmom04
"Everybody is Crazy" soccerstepmom 8 1134 Last post December 01, 2005, 09:53:23 AM
by John Galt
"evil stepmom" spinning 9 1031 Last post November 04, 2008, 05:10:56 AM
by spinning
"Father" version of "An Umbrella for Alex"? doryswimsagain 1 448 Last post June 21, 2012, 04:27:03 PM
by crystal
"Good" parents early on? « 1 2  All » MuGGzy 18 1294 Last post January 05, 2012, 06:17:06 PM
by ennie
"harm avoidance" in children with BPD mothers livednlearned 9 340 Last post June 17, 2015, 11:45:03 AM
by bravhart1
"healing Nons dilemma crystal 5 708 Last post March 14, 2009, 10:43:36 AM
by salt
"How could you do this to your mother?" What should kids tell their friends? Dogbert 8 967 Last post August 06, 2007, 05:54:42 PM
by Dogbert
"I feel guilty" « 1 2  All » marlo6277 16 2428 Last post January 19, 2010, 07:14:08 PM
by marlo6277
"I'm seven years old, and I don't care" « 1 2  All » Sissy 15 1526 Last post January 02, 2008, 04:32:58 PM
by nowwhat
"I'm ugly" dutchie 6 704 Last post March 02, 2009, 07:31:21 AM
by lostinspace
"Mom is violating my right to privacy"... Concerned Dad in NY 5 774 Last post August 04, 2007, 12:57:27 AM
by meryl
"Mommy, I don't love you" daylily 6 836 Last post September 30, 2012, 02:35:08 PM
by livednlearned
"My" little girl's story. Is there help for me raising the child of a BPD mother « 1 2  All » Her Mama 17 1986 Last post April 10, 2006, 01:17:36 PM
by Her Mama
"No thanks" « 1 2 ... 5 6  All » Matt 52 3667 Last post July 23, 2010, 03:22:55 PM
by DreamGirl
"no" parenting with uNPDx « 1 2  All » csandra 10 867 Last post November 27, 2007, 12:26:34 PM
by JoannaK
"Parallel Parenting with a Borderlline" « 1 2  All » Over The Drama 19 1585 Last post February 24, 2008, 02:06:51 AM
by Kayci
"Pet" Names for the BPD/NPD Exes? « 1 2 3  All » Gagrl 20 1755 Last post July 18, 2007, 01:07:29 PM
by doc101
"Poll: When dealing with a BPD, it's o.k. to: " Started by salt JoannaK 8 875 Last post March 07, 2007, 08:43:36 AM
by PamelaMc
"She says the same things about you" « 1 2 3  All » scraps66 23 573 Last post May 09, 2015, 06:53:26 AM
by david
"She's dead to me" « 1 2 3  All » salt 21 2041 Last post May 22, 2007, 02:28:46 PM
by Fabelli
"Snuggling" in bed with the kids... « 1 2 3 4 5  All » Mr. M 48 3277 Last post March 08, 2008, 01:36:30 PM
by spent18
"The Talk" with S12. Matt 2 591 Last post May 03, 2011, 11:51:10 AM
by Matt
"The Tribe has Spoken... " Morphine 6 1549 Last post October 12, 2005, 08:19:52 AM
by Kystepmom2004
"Third Year Blues" CitizenRalston 6 741 Last post November 16, 2006, 09:53:31 AM
by bewildered
"What's your theory?" marlo6277 6 701 Last post June 13, 2010, 02:11:55 PM
by marlo6277
"When I'm Ready" what is the meaning, taking baby to do something friendly OriginalofSpecies 4 565 Last post April 02, 2010, 01:07:33 AM
by LoveBeingADad
"Winning" doesn't mean she's gone « 1 2  All » BBB 16 1260 Last post November 11, 2006, 09:09:31 AM
by Oy-vey!
"You are always welcome in our Home" « 1 2  All » Darwin 13 905 Last post August 24, 2007, 10:50:04 AM
by sonnyboy
'forcing' vs 'neglecting' dutchie 1 409 Last post April 09, 2009, 08:58:08 AM
by Steph
'Hand off' time with 5/2/2/5? « 1 2  All » HellBent 15 918 Last post May 09, 2008, 04:32:35 PM
by laurena82
'I Raised You To Have A Voice' and Other Such Nonsense « 1 2  All » NOTthecrazyone 13 813 Last post January 26, 2012, 12:42:01 PM
by DreamGirl
(right forum? ) What questions to ask when changing attorneys post divorce problemfamily 4 347 Last post September 10, 2008, 03:45:41 PM
by doc101
... for the sake of our children Arrow 6 700 Last post April 18, 2012, 01:40:59 AM
by Matt
... Is this projection? kyrarae 9 696 Last post January 04, 2007, 07:45:52 PM
by kyrarae
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