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Think About It... Defending our boundaries is more than a response in times of conflict - it's a lifestyle. Learn how to get in touch with your values, define and communicate boundaries of those values, and defend against boundary busters. ~ Skip
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Author Topic: I love you guys and gals of FtF  (Read 813 times)
DragoN
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« on: October 23, 2009, 11:30:04 PM »
 Empathy  Group Huggies  x

...validation...I am working at it...give me time..am getting better...still pretty crappy...but even I see improvements...<---for that's worth...I don't know...but it is what it IS...and life with my H is up and down...but less Dooooown.. Just little hops in the pit...so far.

 
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ifsogirl26
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« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2009, 11:35:14 PM »
Ahhh Dragon. You do sound ever so much better and more centered! With all the chaos you do handle things well. We all need to learn and practice. I found myself saying very invalidating things to my H today and I had to stop myself and rewind. Good thing he didn't notice.
Is your H still calling you? I think you do well in not obsessing over it and what he says. That was always the hardest for me. I wanted to call and apologize and invalidate myself when he would be mean to me and I would apologize? WTH?
Learning curve here. Good thing we have eachother to bounce stuff off of. We love you too!  x
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Who I really am can never be lost, I choose to live in the moment, I choose to be happy
DragoN
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« Reply #2 on: October 24, 2009, 12:47:10 AM »
Quote
I found myself saying very invalidating things to my H today and I had to stop myself and rewind.
That's where I really tripped myself up...*Hoooo boy*

Did I ever...however...we shall see what the afternoon brings. Still very grateful for the tools and people here to speak with about these things.

H even said...I have seen big changes in you...but YOU STILL DON'T LISTEN...

Yeah...he may have a point...when he starts accusations...I get a little *snakey* about that.

It's so so twisted the way he works in to the relationship/ conversation/ Feelings vs accusations...it was a very different angle this time...but same ugly tune.

Me no Likes.
Me gets  PD traits
Me teeny bit wrong.
Me learn to validates husband...and maybe...for the love of God...one day he will get bored of it and stop...but I don't hold my breath.. lol
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pk
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« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2009, 05:59:22 PM »
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Group Huggies  Man hug Man hug Man hug Man hug

Wow, My thoughts exactly.  I can't tell everyone on here how much they have helped me and how much I appreciate it.
As I have said before - you guys are the greatest friends I will never know!

Wouldn't it be great, since it is Halloween, if we could all attend a masked party as only our identity and still be anonymous. 
Can you imagine all of us, with the BPDs we have in our lives, all trying to get together.  There would be so much drama caused by this single party that it just wouldn't be worth it.  We will just have to hang out here together.
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united for now
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« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2009, 06:39:29 PM »
Love ya too DragoN   x

If you ever want to have a chuckle - go back and read some of my early posts for a comparison  ;p
It really showcases growth and acceptance from then to now...
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Change your perceptions and you change your life.  Nothing changes without changes
innerspirit
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« Reply #5 on: October 24, 2009, 07:40:16 PM »
Hugs back to you and thanks for your wise input to the rest of us.

x
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DragoN
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« Reply #6 on: October 24, 2009, 11:12:27 PM »
You guys and gals are such an awesome group of people.
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Can you imagine all of us, with the BPDs we have in our lives, all trying to get together.  There would be so much drama caused by this single party that it just wouldn't be worth it.  We will just have to hang out here together.
grin lol we'd be standing huddled together with our Force Fields keeping *ick* off.
Mind you...many of our mates would be on their best behavior...it's AFTER the party ..." Why were you talking to so and so ?" "Why did you ignore me?" ... barfy

*sigh*
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As I have said before - you guys are the greatest friends I will never know!
True...strange...we share here some of our most intimate secrets...with people we'll never meet...and it's safe to do so. As here at FtF, no one is judging you and everyone is focused on how to help you be better. That is such a beautiful example of the potential of the spirit.

And one of us ..me...was a real clown and couldn't see the forest for the trees for a while.

Now...I *See*...although every once in a while a bit of gunge gets in the eyeballz...but I know...you guys will peel me lids back and demand I extract the offending particle  or  PD traits .. still working on it ...takes time... grin

Been here, shy of one year...and YOU simply Rock!

Thank you for your kindness, patience and Being.  x
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Hope in Bondi Beach
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« Reply #7 on: October 24, 2009, 11:18:26 PM »
Your kind, insightful reply's help me a lot Dragon.

Thank you
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In Love with a BPD girl - It took a BPD to see I needed to grow.  That is her gift to me.
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« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2009, 07:04:05 AM »
Boy oh Boy...  people helping people isn't that what it is all about smiley.  Even through all the 'chaos' is our lives people 'hanging their hats in different countries' on this board still take the time to help others... simply awesome!   Doing the right thing
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eeyore
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« Reply #9 on: October 28, 2009, 07:11:58 AM »
back at you DragoN
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Lucky Jim
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« Reply #10 on: October 28, 2009, 09:38:48 AM »
DragoN,  Thanks for helping me, as you put it, to use my "forcefield" to keep the "ick" off!  Uke
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