We are doing okay, but I have to admit that I have to do something about my insecurity cause we are in an "unofficial" relationship. I don't even know if she considers us dating!
It would be normal of you to want to know that. It's taken me a long time to learn this, but anybody that it is healthy to be with is not going to be pushed away by "normal". So you could just ask her?
I like to know that we both have some boundarys. Rules. I don't understand why we can't lay down some ground rules and still work on us the way we have been.
You can make rules for yourself, but not for her.
I'm seem to always be afraid of her loosing interest in me and dating others...or dating others and me. I understand that dating multiple people at the same time is not unheard of these days...but I am not one of those who partake in that. I see nothing wrong with it...but I am NOT a new person to her. We have been together for the last two years! Why can't she just give up a little control and say to me "I won't date anyone else."
If she won't, and that's what you need in a partner, then you won't be able to have her as a partner. You will have a choice - change your need, or not be her partner.
Instead I just get "You have to trust me". Last night she told me after I made a joke about a hair I found on her pillow, (you know...The "That better be yours."...in it was very much in a joking tone), that if she wanted to she could do whatever she likes, even though I may not like it, because her and I are not in a committed relationship. Now she didn't say she would...but it makes me feel horrible that option is there...I'm so scared. Right now I can't remember word for word what she said...but she said something to make me feel like she would have no guilt about it. But again...she did NOT say she was...and I don't think she would.
Well, she gave you an
answer. It sounds like you don't like the answer. What you do about that is up to you!
Have you read our Lessons