Living together splitting bills?

[Think About It...]

we are at a restraunt and we sit and try to split a bills

? Why would husband and wife split bills at a restaurant?

My husband hands me his wallet..."Pay the people."

When I was single...different story. Paid my way...married...my husband is the provider...and often jokes that "She's the boss...she controls the money."  Which couldn't be further from the truth. [ well...a little truthful..very little ]

He's old world...and I after a couple years...got used to it. Was the same with my parents.

* doesn't mean I don't have a little pot off to the side though...*

[DragoN]

we are at a restraunt and we sit and try to split a bills

? Why would husband and wife split bills at a restaurant?

My husband hands me his wallet..."Pay the people."

When I was single...different story. Paid my way...married...my husband is the provider...and often jokes that "She's the boss...she controls the money."  Which couldn't be further from the truth. [ well...a little truthful..very little ]

He's old world...and I after a couple years...got used to it. Was the same with my parents.

* doesn't mean I don't have a little pot off to the side though...*

[truefriend]

I would just agree on a set amount and pay that once a month. Like a roommate. And honestly it should be cheaper than living on your own or it would just not be worth it. Splitting the utility bills is not really fair. If his house is large it is going to be more than what you are accustomed to doing. Why should you pay half of his electric bill when you are not going to increase it that much. if you would have wanted to pay for 200 lightbulbs you would be in that size house now. Does he have a pool? That increases electricity a lot. Yes, you will enjoy the pool but should you bear the burden of half? The decision of the size of his house was made before you, you didn't have a say. It shouldn't be your responsibility to help pay for that. I'd agree on a set amount, it's the only fair way.

[MaybeSo]

I agree with your gut instinct on this Eeyore, and the feedback you are getting.  If you wanted a McMansion, you would be leaving your own McMansion lifestyle and moving into his McMansion lifestyle; under those circumstances, perhaps things would be a bit different...that is not the case.  As I understand it, you are leaving a more modest lifestyle of your choosing,  and your s.o. just happens to choose a more extravagant and more expensive lifestyle and now wants you to share in that 50/50.  I can't really get my head around the following proposition:

BF:  I love you and want to live with you, but I expect you pay 1/2 of my McMansion lifestyle if you chose to live with me.  Oh, and by the way, you are not on the deed and will accrue NO equity and have no vested financial interest in my McMansion lifestyle.  So if our relationship goes south...in the end, you have spent a hell of a lot of money for the privilege of living with me in my McMansion but will have nothing to show for it.  Oh and one more thing, I don't really like your stuff so please spend your own  $$$ to keep that in storage and out of my McMansion.

You:  Ah, thanks but no thanks.

I will be curious to see how this gets worked out because if I move back in with my bf and eventually marrry him as he is campaigning for...I will have some very similar decisions to make.  I own my home, but will consider selling it.  I may even chose to take some of the proceeds of the sale and us it to make some improvements on the home I will be sharirng with him, but I would never do that unless I was on the deed and legally 50% owner of his property. 

[Wanda]

Why would husband and wife split bills at a restaurant

 WE do this at times and at times he pays one time i pay the next, it just is weird at times because it becomes a i owe you  you owe me kind of thing, and we are married. but it works and is  less stress on me , and so it doesn't  bother me
 if I have to do a transfer to his account into mine or mine into his because of a bill.
 I am a beleiver if it works why not.. expecially with someone who has BPD...  not worth the fight... this is one i chose my battle and decided it wasn't worth it.