I left my 22 marriage two months ago. we have kids (s21, d17). we had many good times, and functioned well outwardly. but behind closed doors, things were much more complicated - issues of trust, problems with intimacy, strict roles, control, raging over minor issues left me stressing to be in her company.
i am finding lots of good advice on these message boards, and confirm that NC is a pretty good place to start the process of re-evaluating your life and your future.
it's a very tough decision to abandon/give-up when you have spent most of your adult life investing/maintaining this relationship, and you finally accept that is not working.
wishing you strength and courage! i am finding it too