Healing the Shame That Binds You

[blackandwhite]

Healing the Shame That Binds You
by John Bradshaw




Book Description

Shame is the motivator behind our toxic behaviors: the compulsion, co-dependency, addiction, and drive to superachieve that breaks down the family and destroys personal lives. It limits the development of self esteem and causes anxiety and depression, and limits our ability to be connected in relationships.  This book has helped millions identify their personal shame, understand the underlying reasons for it, address these root causes, and release themselves from the shame that binds them to their past failures.

For the adult children of BPD parents, an understanding of what the author calls "toxic shame" helps to explain the damage done by a parent whose illness caused him or her to view a child as wrong or flawed--and to find a path forward to healing.

About the Author

A recovering alcoholic and adult child of an alcoholic father, John Bradshaw has been involved in the self-development and recovery field for more than ten years, through his ongoing lecture series, his nationally broadcast public television series and his bestselling books.

Paperback: 245 pages
Publisher: HCI; 1 edition (October 1, 1988)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0932194869
ISBN-13: 978-0932194862
Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 6 x 0.7 inches
Price: $10.17

[LOAnnie]

Although I haven't read his books, I saw several of his lectures on PBS many years ago.  At least one of the lectures included the topic "Toxic Shame" and it had me riveted.  It was probably part of his "On Healing The Shame That Binds You" lecture in 1988.  His insights, explanations and advice were so relevant to my situation, I remember watching the TV with tears streaming down my face. 

So, I do recommend Bradshaw's stuff, definitely.

-LOAnnie

[1bravegirl]

Thanks B&W,

It seems to be a great book to highlight.. I will look into purchasing it on amazon..   xoxox

[Japanese Doll]

I read this book and it was excellent. 

It helped me to know myself better!

I know now the reasons why I behave in certain ways.

[Shar]

I read it many years ago, actually several times.  It was hard to wrap my head around but figured out from this book that I was and am the scapegoat.  I should re-read it I think!

[Manon46]

I am reading it right now, it is very very enlightning, although I have a little trouble with understanding some definitions in translation, it is making a lot clear and I would reccomend it absolutely when you are beyond the first recovery path..
At least to understand what is driving you or others, and to use that as a skill for future relations, and any of relation with people..to transfer toxic shame into healthy shame, is freeing and stops the blaming inwards..at least for me it does, and is explaining a little to make it understandable what you have dealt with, and how they bacame what they are.. xoxox

[Gettingthere]

This is a brilliant book, and covers a  LOT of ground. It helped me understand some of the things i do, and wys in which i had been shamed as a child and not even realised. A really good book.

[rooster1106]

i saw it at the bookstore the other day. i got it on kindle for ipod. looking forward to it.

[rooster1106]

here is part 1 of john bradshaw on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5q2tZa1gp8Q
i'm just starting it. i'll tell you what i think another time.

[Bronxman]

I read this book a few years ago, and found it to be all at once the best and the worst self-help book I've ever read. The first half was so spot-on that it seemed as if Bradshaw had been hiding behind the furniture as I grew up, taking notes on what was going on in my house. The last unanswered questions as to who I am, and why I grew up to be the adult I became were answered, to devastating effect.

I was laid bare, and left raw and hurting anew by the book's revelations, and I proceeded from the first half of the book to the second, eagerly looking forward to reading Bradshaw's path to healing. I found his recommendations, however, putrid. Utterly unhelpful to anyone not receptive to a 12-Step solution, or role-playing the part of newborn infant with total strangers. Horrific.

I'm happy to say I healed on my own, but alone with my thoughts, and it took over an excruciating year to reach the point where I felt I'd emerged at a point better than the one I was at when I opened this book at page 1. And as the years have passed, I do feel that I benefited greatly from the first half of Bradshaw's book. But unless you're willing to submit to the dubious structure of the 12-Step program, and engage in behavior that you as an adult may find inconsistent with the rest of your self-image as an otherwise functional adult, I would suggest you read the first half of Healing the Shame That Binds You under the supervision of a trusted therapist.

[real lady]

Read it and LOVE John Bradshaw's research and writings...(The Family, etc.) and bought a copy for my EXh who was possibly personality disordered. He did not read it. I think that my BPD MIGHT be interested in it...shame brought on by the abuse, would focus on how HE FEELS and might be a GREAT place to recommend him to start reading...great idea.