First of all, I have to thank you for helping me take a walk down memory lane and remember how far I have come.
I just read my posts from 1 month out of my very abusive r with a h with bpd and it was quite interesting to read my words from 5-09. I feel that the article is meant to be applied like this..
We take full responsibility for our part in the relationship, not for their behavior. We cannot be responsible for what another person does or does not do, but we have to be accountable to ourselves to some degree for what we have allowed to go on or what we have continued to put up with.
We also can become so blinded by what "they have done" to bring us to this point, because of the illness that they refused to get help for, that we fail to see all the area's that we needed to work on and allow the experience from that relationship to continue to teach us many things about ourselves/ forget what they did or did not do.
What did we do or what should we have done to make it different? How can we apply the things we have learned from the past now and make our lives as fulfilling as possible?
So many things we can learn about ourselves and where we fell short and so many ways we can keep benefiting from our past trials remembering the strength and courage we have learned to have within ourselves. By living thru that ordeal and finding ourself along the way.. We learned to understand ourselves better and apply the tools from this board and we have continued to become stronger and independent from their toxicity..
We have become very insightful to many things, and we have the choice to keep our energy for change, positive within us and always growing stronger and stronger, and never allow it to be dependent on what anyone else does or doesn't do.
That is what I have learned through all of this and what it means to take 100% of the responsibility that I bear for allowing the 24 yr marriage to continue under the worst of circumstances..
And with all that I have learned about myself and what I can do when I put my mind to something and how you can completely turn your life around even at almost 50 and be just as good as when you were 30 but better! cause you are smarter now!
With all of this positivity of learning about what changing myself has done for me.. I gladly take full responsibility for my part and look forward to getting better and better as each day goes by.. now that I am living a stress free life.. Thank you so much FTF Board for all the support you have given me to become the person I am today! I love YOU>>> all!.