In wonderland...

Just throwing this out there, mainly because I need to writ e it down to organize my thoughts and vent.

Things had been going better this uBPDw since the boundaries weekend when she freaked out. Last weekend was a real test, he mother and aunt were in town, and this sent her stress level through the roof. There were two occasions where she actually had to go to work and leave the house so that she couldn’t make sure that nothing was being said about her, and I’m sure this sent her anxiety level through the roof, but she behaved, or at least she didn’t yell. She did however whine, complain and act like a complete jerk to her mom. Her aunt works with special needs children and gave me a some advice on how to deal with uBPDw but mainly recommended that we needed to get to a T and they would be able to help the most.

Anyway, no yelling at least, for almost two weeks…until last night. She had a hair appointment and so while she was out and I went to the gym, then came home and did some house projects that we had talked about me doing while she worked late. She got home, projects were finished well, and I had started working on a new house hold budget.

She gets home (a little drunk from the hairdresser? How does that work?) And is happy with the home improvements, remains in a good mood for roughly an hour until I finish cleaning everything up from my project. Then starts to get mopey and sad. So I get the budget to start talking about it with her (I don’t know whether it’s just her or BPD in general, but the concept of what life cost doesn’t really gel with her, and she always thinks we should have more, regardless). She proceeds to tell me that she doesn’t like the format that I put the budget in and that she can’t believe I did it without her (even though I told her I did it earlier and she was happy that I started making progress and that we would review it later). Then I never include her; never talk to her, etc. I apologies and talk to her about it for a while, then she starts playing on her computer so I watch TV for a little before going to bed. Once in bed she freaks! Tells me that I did the house project without talking to her, that I hate her, that it’s unacceptable, etc. This time yelling and telling me I’m an a**()%$. This is where I screwed up (AGAIN!) and tried to calm her down as I really just wanted to go to sleep so that I could get up for a meeting this morning. Long story short that didn’t work and I didn’t get to sleet till o1:30 after being up at 5:00 that morning. So I missed my meeting this morning. Now I feel like a jerk and I probably lost business opportunities, and I’m baffled as to why when I did what I told her I was going to do, she got mad! If I hadn’t done it she probably would have said I was lazy and worthless! AHHHHH!

I wonder if this was a result more of the prior weekend stress and not my actions yesterday?