Their 6th sense: seeing inside peoples' minds, knowing feelings, etc.

[Think About It...]

Elizablu-I can totally relate to your story!  No matter how careful I was in wording my experiences using "I" statements in MC, I was accused of posturing, misrepresenting, telling on him, etc...  It got to the point where I felt I couldn't share my side of the story.  He habitually assigned malicious intent to me and then said intentions don't matter, just actions (which are designed to hurt him).  I felt there were repurcussions for telling my side of things.  What was the point of MC?

Now he remembers events and conversations that I don't recall.  That upsets him as he thinks I may have Alzheimer's or something.  In the last session he was tearing up and visbly disturbed by my saying that I don't recall the particulars of a conversation we had two months ago.  Even though he said I handled my end of the conversation well he wanted to know what I was thinking at the time because he was afraid I was blaming him for something.  Even when I tell him what my intent is/was, he prefers to believe his intuition and tell me that I just can't afford to look at the truth.  Ughh...

[Jaybird]

Elizablu-I can totally relate to your story!  No matter how careful I was in wording my experiences using "I" statements in MC, I was accused of posturing, misrepresenting, telling on him, etc...  It got to the point where I felt I couldn't share my side of the story.  He habitually assigned malicious intent to me and then said intentions don't matter, just actions (which are designed to hurt him).  I felt there were repurcussions for telling my side of things.  What was the point of MC?

Now he remembers events and conversations that I don't recall.  That upsets him as he thinks I may have Alzheimer's or something.  In the last session he was tearing up and visbly disturbed by my saying that I don't recall the particulars of a conversation we had two months ago.  Even though he said I handled my end of the conversation well he wanted to know what I was thinking at the time because he was afraid I was blaming him for something.  Even when I tell him what my intent is/was, he prefers to believe his intuition and tell me that I just can't afford to look at the truth.  Ughh...

[gondii]

Ok I have kind of a side-note question to ask about this.  My bf is super sensitive to people's emotions and intentions.  He's almost always right about the "type" of person someone is, and it ends up being really creepy.  Many people love to discuss their problems with him because he's usually really good about interpreting their situation with very little information.  My father was also like this.  They are both uBPD in my opinion. 

Now...my bf has another element incorporated into this.  He is mexican and therefore has all of these superstitions embedded into this.  They make him very paranoid and he lives in this world where the supernatural is very real.  He has told me that he saw a ghost in his house when he was 5 years old.  He says that there are spirits around all the time.  He has all of these things which I just don't understand or care to think about.  In high stress situation he gets paranoid and has had instances where he's thought he's seen "someone" doing things usually to his car (I've looked when he "sees" these things in the middle of the night...and there's nothing there).  So...I don't know. 

To him this is completely normal.  His whole family believes in these sorts of manifestations.  Whenever anything strange happens around the house they will immediately relate this to someone visiting them from the dead.  They of course have different language for this.  I just don't even know how to think of it.  To me...it sounds like schizophrenia.  But, can I be that judgmental?  To many people that has been happening for years and is the basis for many fables. 

Has anyone else gone through this?  I don't talk about it to many people (except those who are from very native Mexican families -- and who think nothing of it).  I think it's peculiar and it scares me...

[Auspicious]

To him this is completely normal.  His whole family believes in these sorts of manifestations.  Whenever anything strange happens around the house they will immediately relate this to someone visiting them from the dead.  They of course have different language for this.  I just don't even know how to think of it.  To me...it sounds like schizophrenia.  But, can I be that judgmental?  To many people that has been happening for years and is the basis for many fables. 

It could be schizophrenia ... it would take an assessment that they probably wouldn't want to get to be sure.

Probably a key factor is the impact of these beliefs - how do they affect the person's functioning? On the job, within the family, in taking care of themselves, etc.

[gondii]

Probably a key factor is the impact of these beliefs - how do they affect the person's functioning? On the job, within the family, in taking care of themselves, etc.
[/quote]

Do you mean is it effecting the family?  No it doesn't at all.  The weird thing about it all is that they sort of just acknowledge it and then move on.  We'll be sitting eating dinner...the grandmother will see a shadow and then just mutter under her breath that someone is passing from the cemetery.  They all believe in witches, curses, medical issues due to these, etc.  We have lectures in school about how to deal with patients who are Mexican and incorporate superstitions into daily life so that we can treat them medically without interfering with these beliefs.  I don't know, I guess I was wondering if these visual disturbances could have anything to do with BPD?  He has studied a lot about being a shaman and his family believes that he has this 6th sense that many people lack.  It sort of irks me...and was just wondering if anyone else has been through anything like this?

I feel like if I figure out a way to get him into therapy I have to find someone who is both BPD trained and familiar with his culture so that he doesn't immediately dismiss them?

[ElizaBlu]

It got to the point where I felt I couldn't share my side of the story.  He habitually assigned malicious intent to me and then said intentions don't matter, just actions (which are designed to hurt him).  I felt there were repurcussions for telling my side of things.  What was the point of MC?

Jaybird - I know exactly what you're talking about. We only went to MC for about eight weeks, and we never got past this. Things between us did get a little better, and then h decided we didn't need to go anymore. I disagreed, but told him that I wasn't going to force him to keep going.

This is one of the hardest parts of being married to a BP for me - the fact that I can never bring up anything that I need to discuss without him thinking that I'm trying to hurt him. It's a weird way to live - I feel like I can never be totally honest with him, and I know that we'll never be emotionally close. I do love him, he is fun to be with a lot of the time, and he's got some great qualities. But it's tough to be taking care of him emotionally all the time!

Now he remembers events and conversations that I don't recall.

This happens with us, too. He seems to remember conversations with vivid detail, and I'm not sure if he's got an amazing memory, or if he just puts more importance on things that I didn't think were that important so I don't remember them. And, sometimes, I wonder if he's making up the things he's saying! Sometimes his version of things is very different from mine.

[Jaybird]

Thanks for sharing Elizablu.  I don't feel so alone, wondering if I'm the one who actually has the mental illness.  I am dumbfounded sometimes by the things he comes up with.  BPD makes a lot of sense in explaining what I've been experiencing.  I just wonder if I read too much into that since neither his IT or my IT or our MC has caught it.

We have been in MC for 4 of the last 5 years.  It has just been in the last few months that H has started taking responsibility for his own "stuff" and even apologizing for trying to manipulate me.  I have had more freedom to share, freedom that I had accepted I would never regain. God is good! 

[colourguy]

..so do you think somebody be 'intuitive' to peoples emotions and not be BPD?

...how do hsp's 'fit' into this picture...your thought would be appreciated.

Oh... and anyone else on here think they are a hsp? Hi!

[colourguy]

whoop's... here's a link to some info on hsp's http://www.hspnetwork.com.au/life-as-an-hsp/

[LoveNotWar]

Interesting, thanks for the link colorguy. Some of that applies to my pwBPD, because of a TBI he has no sense of smell. And he plays music all day. Maybe  to drown out other sounds/distractions. But the rest is pretty descriptive of my guy.
Something to think about...