Our self respect, our self esteem and our belief in ourselves is slowly destroyed over time as we are exposed to the criticism and abuse of the pwBPD. The constant barrage of what we do wrong, how we aren't good enough, the listing of all of our faults and flaws - this toxic negative brew is bound to poison our sense of ourselves
The good news? It can be changed...
Self-esteem is based in what you think.
Self-respect is based on what you do.
Self esteem comes from comparing ourselves to someone or something else. To esteem anything is to evaluate it positively and hold it in high regard - if we don't measure up then we wind up feeling bad about ourselves. We wind up not accepting ourselves.
Self-acceptance means you accept the things about yourself that you cannot change. You have a large nose and canât afford to have it fixed. The option of putting a sack over your head and hiding doesnât work. You are forced to live with it. This is where self-talk becomes vital. Do you make comments like? âI hate my nose.â âI wish I was attractive.â âI wish I looked like so and so.â âIs she staring at my huge nose?â
Comments like these tear at the walls of your self-respect and confidence. As difficult as it is, you will have to choose
to accept the fact that your nose is not your best feature. You will choose
to focus on your better features. You will choose
to stop focusing on your nose. You will choose
to overlook the fact that you have a large nose. Seems impossible, but the hardest part is in the choosing
to think differently.
Foundational self-confidence walls would be: self-acceptance, self-improvement, self-respect and self-talk.
These building blocks interlock and strengthen each other. If you lack self-confidence in these areas they are in need of repair. And everything built on them risks being unstable.
Changing what you "do" - how you respond to abuse, how you take care of yourself, how you talk to yourself - builds self respect, which in turn leads to better self esteem
Remember, NOBODY can take your self respect away from you. If someone tries to cut you down, you can compare that person's words with what you have accomplished and the standards of behavior that you attempt to attain. If their words don't fit the facts that erodes their
credibility, not yours. Our own actions create the strength to believe in ourselves and to dismiss the attacks of others.
Clear away the FOG of doubt and work on building your self respect by taking care of yourself