marujiuana use help or hurt?

[Think About It...]

Think About It... You are choosing what you are doing, but you are capable of choosing something better. If it is a choice, it follows that you are responsible for making it. ~ William Glasser, M.D. author of Choice Theory

[singingwinds]

My hubby has been a long time pot smoker and I was wondering the effects of it on bpd. Honestly, we all like him a lot better when he is smoking, as he is less likely to be triggered into a rage. The main issue is that supplies are never constant and when he is out, his rage is worse than before. I am afraid the drug use has been smothering his anger and it has just been building for years. Especially about issues he hasn't dealt with such as his father physically abusing him, his sisters betrayal, and his first wife's abandonment of him.

Any opinions, facts, advice about this topic.

[tranch]

Hi, no facts here.

my wife smoked pot once as an adult with some coworkers and didn't like it. and at times i thought, hmm, i wonder if that would chill her out. but i didn't want it to be a dependence, like your husband's case sounds. also, i see my wife drink once or twice a year, have a good time, go overboard, and get sick. she shows no self control. i just worry it would be the same thing with pot, not like a one time thing obviously, but just that she'd start doing it too much.

it's being used as a drug for some things b/c it simply is the best solution for some people. like some people use it for pain. i'm not sure what mental illnesses, if any, allow you to smoke weed. But the lgical connection is there. If it somehow chills you out, how is that any difference than a typical prescription drug. In fact, it may have less severe side effects, besides typical smoking side effects, which it sounds like your husband has already come to grips with anyway.

BUT, like when any other drug "works," it can cause you to think you're fine. And like you said, your husband has root issues to work out. I personally don't think the pot sounds like a problem. It sounds like the problem is that he's not actually treating or working towards correcting any underlying problems (sorry, but i haven't actually read your story to see if he's getting any therapy at all), he's just treating the symptoms. It helps him (and people around him) RIGHT now, but it's not going to magically make this cycle stop someday.

Sounds to me like if you were to try to suggest anything to him, it would be that he gets serious with therapy. You may want to just leave the pot totally out of it.

I just went through a lot of drama and basically emotionally reunited with my wife after she emotionally and somewhat physically cheated on me. Besides the obvious boundaries I set after this ("absolutely no more chances"), another boundary is that for me to stay in this marriage, she must be in consistent therapy. At some point, if you decide to make that boundary, and he doesn't commit, and then you leave, and then he says, "okay I will!" in a panic again. You may need to stay away for a while to observe if he'll really do it on his own, then don't come back until he's consistent. This is the first time i've made this boundary very clear to my wife. we'll see what happens.

[peacebaby]

Pot has it's ups and downs for everyone. It helps keep one calmer and happier, but it also makes one feel like things are cool so one doesn't have to make changes. For my partner, it has both these up and down sides.

[committed]

I just saw a show on TV not to long about the use of marijuana to treat some mental illnesses - depression, bipolar, PTSD, ADD. They said there is evidence that it certainly can help. I think whether or not it helps is going to depend on the individual person, how they use it and how often they use it.

[Althea]

I loath my uBPDh, when he runs out of weed.  LOATH HIM.  I cal it is Rx.

[Althea]

PS he quit smoking pot this week.  SON OF A BITCH.

[singingwinds]

Thanks everyone for your replies

My basic story is he is undiagnosed and refuses to do any type of therapy or see a dr. I know eventually I will need him to get some kind of help, but I am just hoping for a little stability by using the lessons and suggestions of this site. It has helped a bit and this week he is talking to me.

He is already using (somewhat for pain issues)and has no immediate plans to quit.  I think he started to self medicate for some of his emotional issues and doesn't know how to deal with issues without it.

[singingwinds]

re: Althaea
LOL, I totally understand that one.

[lovelee]

Ooh - I was totally going to post about this one - thanks for starting this singingwinds.

So - we live in Colorado where medical marijuana (mmj) is legal, which makes not only the supply situation a dream compared to street dealing, but it also means that H can pick and choose the type that works best for him - to stop his brain from spinning out of control, but not put him into a daze - it's pretty amazing when he finds the strain that is just the right balance - although our dispensary doesn't always have it in stock.

I don't use it - used to, but now it puts me right to sleep - but I can tell you that the longest he's gone without it - over our wedding and honeymoon - he was hyper and constantly chatting and sort of like a yippy dog that always needed to move around and get attention.  Totally annoying.  I really just wanted to lie on the beach, dammit!  So I did, and he collected shells and looked for shark teeth and played with his skim board and...oy!

The one deciding factor that made me not question his use of it is that his psychiatrist started prescribing more and more meds for his diagnosis of bi-polar II, which he may not even have - from lithium to something that would affect his thyroid to something that had the side effect of a severe, incurable skin disease in 10% of users...

I just don't see daily pot use as bad as that - and goodness it calms him down and gets him focused and makes him loveable and helps him sleep through the night.

It's a joy to have it legal here.  And I'm all for how it helps my H deal with life.  Just wish he didn't have to smoke it - the edibles don't do it for him as well and they are more expensive to buy and sort of a pain to make on your own - you have to use a lot of oil and sugar and we're on the Weight Watchers so...

lovelee

[JoannaK]

Drinking, smoking pot, prescription drugs, porn, shopping, etc. etc...   All are forms of self-medication.     

[lovelee]

Is self medication a bad thing if it works as well/better than prescribed medication? 

And what if it's, like the pot, actually prescribed?

Not actually so black and white...

[Blythe1976]

Honestly, we all like him a lot better when he is smoking, as he is less likely to be triggered into a rage. The main issue is that supplies are never constant and when he is out, his rage is worse than before.

Wow, am I glad you started this thread. My uBPDh smoked pot every day for five years (age 17 to 21, I believe) and during this time did nothing with his life. Now, after all these years of not touching the stuff, he started up with it again around 3 months ago. Same situation: when he's actively high, he's way more bearable and far less likely to be set off about minor thing. However, during the day, when he's *not* high, he's unbearable—hyperactive, talking and talking and talking a mile a minute with his loud, baritone, overpowering voice...and worse, his rages are off the hook. The past two weeks have been hell. He has daily altercations with total strangers over everything from a bus driver being "rude and f*cked up" towards him, to someone accidentally bumping into him on a train, to a shop assistant making him wait two minutes while she finishes with another customer. Like I said, BPDh has been smoking every day for about 3 months. He went from not smoking *anything* for 7 or 8 years, straight to smoking EVERY DAY, literally overnight. My therapist even commented that, "Your husband seems to take every behavior to the utmost extreme with great immediacy." And he does. It almost seems like he wants to actively destroy his life and take down anyone he can along with him.

Oh, and the pot smoking also interferes with his Seroquel, which doesn't work at all anymore. Things were pretty good with BPDh for about a year before he started with the pot smoking again. At first, I couldn't figure out what had propelled us back to the depths of hell, but now I'm quite sure it's the pot smoking day and night.

[Silver08]

My mom is uBPD and smoked pot my entire life.  She was unstable even when smoking, but now that she has stopped, she is even worse.  Her depression and anxiety is out of control now.  I never thought in a million years that I wish she would start again!!

[singingwinds]

Glad to see all the responses and that I am not alone with this issue. There are definitely pros and cons to this.

Since my husband doesn't medicate any other way and is highly functioning when using, I am going to let it stay a non-issue for now. He goes to work everyday, it does not endanger his employment, and he has better interactions with his family.

I agree that some types of pot are better for anxiety problems than others. Wish there was more research in this area.

I realize this is kind of a separate topic, but which prescription medications help bpd with anxiety and anger? Blythe mentioned the use of Seroquel and how pot use inhibits its effects. Eventually could we get the dh off the illegal substance and have good results? I realize medication is always more effective with therapy, but I am thinking of long term progress.

[singingwinds]

I found an answer to my question about medications In the Lessons board and I thought I would post the link here in case anyone else was interested in the answer.
http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=44786.0

There is just soooo much info on the site and boards. Takes me a while to read through it all, but I am so thankful to have found this place!

[iluminati]

I would say properly supervised (and I can't stress the word enough), it could help.  There's a major difference between dealing with your friendly neighborhood recreational pharmaceutical sales and marketing rep, and supervised use under the care of a psychiatrist.  I would say that would be useful as an adjunct to therapy, but like any other drug, it can be abused.  I would approach weed with an abundance of caution...if only because you can't buy prozac on the street.

[lovelee]

My H's psychiatrist prescribed him Klonopin for his anxiety - a benzodiazepine that is linked to addiction, of which he takes about 1/2 as much as he is prescribed.

A doctor - albeit one who's main business is to prescribe medical marijuana - prescribed marijuana to help with his anxiety as well.

He goes to the local legal dispensary and purchases two-three grams/week of marijuana that has been specifically bred to help with anxiety and sleep disorders.

I agree that street dealing is not the way to go, and it's a shame that medical marijuana is not yet legal throughout the country, because it really makes a difference what strain you have when you are trying to use it for something specific.

But I really don't see much difference between both doctors' prescriptions - the Klonopin is great to have on the go, but it doesn't get him to the same level of calm as the marijuana.  And since I've been coming here and working on the validation and general calmness around the house, except for a few small outbursts due to some real stresses he's been generally even-keeled and lovely to be around.

I know this is not the same for everyone - but in a really controlled situation like the one we have here it can be a help.

And I just can't see it in the same light as something like alcohol that is truly physically addicting and has the capacity to destroy peoples' lives - but has been mostly 100% legal for as long as time - cept during Prohibition, which proved to be more of an incentive toward crime than anything helpful to society!

Stepping down off soap box.

lovelee