April 19, 2014, 12:03:20 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Today's Feature: WORKSHOP: Do you know the art of WiseMind?  Learn more
Moderators: DreamGirl, P.F.Change, Rapt Reader
Advisors: an0ught, heartandwhole, livednlearned, pessim-optimist, Surnia, Waverider, winston72
Ambassadors: crumblingdad, DreamFlyer99, growing_wings, Kwamina, learning_curve74, maxsterling, maxen, Mutt, peaceplease, scallops, Turkish
Guidelines: Terms of Service, Abbreviations
  Home Blog   Boards   Help Login Register  
What is this?
Think About It... Defending our boundaries is more than a response in times of conflict - it's a lifestyle. Learn how to get in touch with your values, define and communicate boundaries of those values, and defend against boundary busters. ~ Skip
105
Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: The BPD Stalker  (Read 3393 times)
Herestoyourhealth
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 134


« on: August 30, 2010, 01:12:03 PM »

Most of my story is on my intro thread, but my current issue is that the BPD man I dated 4 months is now exhibiting stalking behaviors. 

Brief history recap:

On our first date, I told him that I was not in a place to start a significant relationship, that I was dating around but not sleeping around and if he was ok with that then we could get to know each other slowly.  He pretty much started calling daily, taking me out several evenings, and monopolozing my time so that I didn't have any room to accept another date.  (I take complete responsibility for allowing that.)  Anytime he asked if I was "still dating around", I said "Yes, I do still want to reserve the option of meeting other people, and so should you exercise the same option."  We never did sleep together, and I never did verbally or emotionally commit to any exclusive involvement.

When the rages started, and the jealousy, clinginess, dependency, Red Flag  I began to backpedal and attempted to slow things down even more than the slow-crawl I was wanting in the first place.  (My mistake again for allowing that to happen more than a time or two.)

Finally, he "broke up with me" 3 nights out of 5 nights (although the next day it was like nothing happened).  When he showed up with roses the next day, I told him we could not date anymore.  That's when he told me he should "get back on his meds".  Before the day I was "done" I did not know that he has a diagnosed PD/psychiatric history.  My empathy triggered (because of uBPDmom) and I offered to just be friends (another bad decision on my part).  I am trying to work on my boundaries...just obviously not doing a great job of it.   lol

Anyway, the last 30 days I have reinforced the "just friends" message which he refused to believe, and have escalated the point with more and more limited contact...taking fewer and fewer calls and saying "No" to his "friendly" offers to meet for lunch or happy hour.

Bottom line is that I am now afraid of him.  He will call excessively, leaving angrier and angrier messages or texts and he has started driving by my house to see if I am home.  Yesterday, there were no calls, and I'm wondering if he is plotting/planning some weird revenge.  I hope that he is just having some "sane" moments now and starting to give up.

That's the history.  My question is "What experiences have you had with stalking behavior when trying to end things?"  I'd also like any opinions on whether it is safer to try to taper off, or just cut the cord and go NC.  My main objective is to minimize the risk of any physical damage to my property or worse.  I know no one can give me the solution to my particular situation, but I sure could use the input of your experiences and outcomes.

Logged
dilbert
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 435



« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2010, 02:18:31 PM »

i havent been on the board in quite awhile..thought my problems went away. all i can say is go NC. im about 6 months removed and she called 15 times the other within an hour while describing to me what i was doing in my back yard. after i heard the messages later that night. dont wanna rain on your parade, but they never seem to go away. at least not in my case yet
Logged
RealEyes
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 550


WWW
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2010, 11:44:24 PM »

I go into court tomorrow to get a RO on the Xbf after a very brief but passionate 3 month relationship thats become the most bizarre experience to the date for me as i become 51 on the 31st~ He's 42, very handsome man but kept breaking it off only to go after me when i decided to agree by going out with another more sane X just to get away from dealing with this last one. Its like he wants to destroy who i've become by harassing, objectifying, even i think blackmail me today in a text after he said he wont come to court again after filling a perjured RO on me that he didn't show up for on the 17th? Its like he's saying,, 'if i cant have you no one will after i destroy your spirit you wont allow me to drain out of you the way i loved doing before'? Not sure whats going on in his mind right now but it aint Kosher. If i didn't still care for him i'd be even more scared out of my wits as to whats his next move after he hopefully gets served soon~ He began to rage at me in text this morning after i finally told him what he did to cause all of this drama that has us now in court. He tried to get me the way he wanted before the 31st, back n bed again but i made it clear that cant happen anymore even thou i wanted to again but not after all of this i just wouldn't feel safe around him. He's not afraid of The Law but at the same time i'm not afraid of The Truth!

i'd hope maybe oneday we'd be friends again but he made it even less likely after what went down this morning while he text raged me i think while intoxicated after bartending of all things. I think he wants me to become his personal Laptop, not a girlfriend but some OBJECT he can turn on and off at his will!

I began to document what he was doing, then if i felt it as a threat or harassment, i'd take it to The Police Dept Sub and report it as harassment. If it gets worse then seek a TPO on him.

thanks for the topic, Sis!
Logged
Herestoyourhealth
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 134


« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2010, 11:58:49 AM »

... 6 months removed and she called 15 times the other within an hour while describing to me what i was doing in my back yard. after i heard the messages later that night. dont wanna rain on your parade, but they never seem to go away. at least not in my case yet


Wow, Dilbert!  That's disheartening and scary.  I'm sorry for your situation too.  Has yours found a new bf?  I'm thinking that when this guy finds a new "love target" he'll leave me alone.

----------

Hi RealEyes,

Happy Birthday!  (My Sis is 53 today.)  Sorry you're having to spend your day getting an RO.  I hope my situation won't come to that.

Not sure whats going on in his mind right now but it aint Kosher.


I know.  That is terrifying.  Mine hasn't called the last two days  (longest NC ever) and I'm trying to think positive, as in he met someone new or is having some "rational" thoughts.  Unfortunately my mind keeps wondering if he's just plotting something bad.


i'd hope maybe oneday we'd be friends again but he made it even less likely after what went down this morning while he text raged me i think while intoxicated after bartending of all things.

I began to document what he was doing, then if i felt it as a threat or harassment, i'd take it to The Police Dept Sub and report it as harassment. If it gets worse then seek a TPO on him.


Our last verbal agreement was "just friends", but the conversations since end up twisted to "I know you love me and just won't admit it."  Even friendship is out of the question.  None of my friends repeatedly drive by my house or call multiple times to leave intimidating messages.  Sure I can remember that he can display some great qualities, but the bad behavior more than wipes all that off the map.  No one should live in fear of their "friend".

Mine took a second job in my neighborhood bar while we were dating.  Now I have to stay away from my own hangout.  He has alcohol and substance abuse issues which makes the whole situation even less predictable.  I'm not sure the extent of the illegal drugs...it was only one day that he was "jonesing" for his friend to give him some Xanax.  I questioned him about what that is, what it does, why he's taking it, and that I disapproved.  He never brought it up again...but obviously he has no problem taking heavy-duty pharmaceuticals.  Now he also has Abilify and Seroquel prescriptions and drinks heavily.   cry

I am starting to keep messages from him and my neighbors witnessed him doing the drive-throughs over the weekend.  This is just a nightmare.

Sigh.  Thank you both for your input.
Logged
GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?
This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving
All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)
JoannaK
DSA Recipient
Administrator (Retired)
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 26381



« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2010, 12:07:26 PM »

Just hope that he is stopping the stalking behaviors and/or is interested in someone new.

It's good to document his calls and drive-by's should it be necessary to get an r.o. against him.

You talk about "tapering off"...  How much contact have you had with him over the past two weeks?  Do you reply to his overtures?
Logged

Herestoyourhealth
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 134


« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2010, 01:32:38 PM »


You talk about "tapering off"...  How much contact have you had with him over the past two weeks?  Do you reply to his overtures?

Hi Joanna,

I had documented pretty much all our contact in my "Intro" message, but I just jotted down the "short list" on paper.  That actually helped me see the chronology more clearly.  In response to his overtures, as in "I know you miss me, love me, still care, etc.", I have shaken my head no and said, "No.  We need to just work on a friendship.  That's all."  The reason I gave him for breaking up with him 7/29 was that I cannot deal with his mood swings.  I have reminded him of the reason several times.


The "short-list":

7/29  I told him I cannot date him anymore, but offered to be friends.

7/30-8/18  I continued to return his calls, and would sit and talk with him at the neighborhood pub.  During this time, it became clear that seeing me deluded him into thinking that I was not serious about the break-up. 

8/19 I put the "taper off" boundary in place, starting with no more than one returned phone call per day.

8/20  Eesh...I agreed to lunch (obviously poor boundary control).  He actually seemed ok that day about the "just friends" until he started to walk me out and said "I know you miss me."  I shook my head no, and walked away from him.

8/21 I returned one call in AM saying I would not be going out that night.  PM - I was helping my new neighbor install some laminate floring.  He showed up unannounced.  He sat and sulked on the patio while we worked inside, and left without saying goddbye.

8/22-8/23  NC - both of us.

8/24  He was supposed to be off work, so I went to happy hour.  He walked in (surprise).  We had a couple of beers.  When he pressured me about dating again, I shook my head, said "I gotta' go." and walked out.

8/25  I returned one phone call.

8/26 I did not return any calls.  He left 3 messages early in the day.  I passed him driving in my neighborhood.  He stopped at my car, rolled down his window, glared at me with the most angry look on his face, then drove on.  Not one word.  (I think that's when I started to get really scared.)  He was driving in the direction of my house at the time.  (Bar employees report that he started drinking early that day.)  He left 3 more messages that PM.  I did not return any calls.

8/27 NC.  He left 3 messages including one "I don't know why you aren't returning my calls.  I know you're home...your car is in the driveway."  That evening, he left 8 text messages on my cell phone.

8/28  He left a message inviting me to happy hour.  I returned call and declined.  Neighbors and I saw him drive pass my house three times later that night.

8/29-8/30  NC - no messages.  It's almost too quiet.

Sorry if that is too much detail.  Actually putting it in one list is helpful to me.  If he does any more stalking behavior, it is clear that I will have to go NC.  There's a conversation I don't want to have...telling him not to contact/drive through anymore.
Logged
still around
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 154



« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2010, 02:15:57 PM »

Herestoyourhealth,

I just want to offer you moral support, having been through the stalking situation a couple of times in my life, once many years ago with an ex-H and then over many years' time with my father(?).  I handled both situations as best I could at the time:  the ex came to my apartment with a gun and demanded sex.  He got it.  My situation with him ended when he moved out of state, and since he defaulted on his child support, any further contact was handled via an attorney. (I was too terrified to do anything about the gun visit, didn't call the cops, just kind of "froze" and hoped for the best.)

I've posted elsewhere about being stalked for years by my mother's husband.  I never got away from him until he died.  Don't you be like me!  I have so much empathy for you, but cannot give you the excellent advice that these other forum members can, as I managed to live through the situation with my father (mother's hit man, actually  cool ) but never really succeeded in getting clear of him.

You're going to succeed!  Men like this guy you're dealing with, simply toy with women in order to fulfill their own sick destinies.  You can't allow yourself to get sucked in any further than you already have been.

 x

    s a




Logged

God doesn't see me as my parents' child, He sees me as HIS child.
Herestoyourhealth
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 134


« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2010, 03:12:17 PM »

still around,

My heart is heavy reading your story.  What you have been through is infinitely worse than what I am currently experiencing.  I am so sorry.   x

I am remaining as optimistic as possible that this man will go away and stop stalking as soon as he meets the next woman.  He acted so obsessed with me during our four months dating, that I doubt he had time to stalk any of his ex's.  Next time he "falls in love at first sight" with the new one, I think he'll completely forget about me.  Lack of object constancy.  I hope so anyway.

Thank you for the moral support and empathy.  That is a two-way street...I feel for you too.  Hugs!   x
Logged
RealEyes
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 550


WWW
« Reply #8 on: August 31, 2010, 04:42:23 PM »

----------

Hi RealEyes,

Happy Birthday!  (My Sis is 53 today.)  Sorry you're having to spend your day getting an RO.  I hope my situation won't come to that.



My RO has been granted, i'm off to the gym and later for a lil fun on my Bday till the end of it tonight! Had a nice 4 days off for it, last year an entire month off camping and what not, those great memories are still with me today a year later assisting me onward into my now 50s rather than the memories of the past 3 months with the X,, yes! We did have fun, i will keep those fun memories forever until his vicious cycle became so apparently destructive for me.

Thanks for the happy b-day and tell your Sis this Virgo said the same!
Logged
Herestoyourhealth
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 134


« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2010, 07:46:21 PM »

Well I knew that was too good to last (two days without any messages).  Got a phone message from him today that two of my friends are up at happy hour.  He is there working, so I'm not going.  He knows I usually go on Tuesday and that I would like to see these friends.   cry  Anyway his voice sounded "normal and friendly", but I'm not returning the call.

----------------
RealEyes,

Congrats on the RO!  Now that the work is over, I hope you are enjoying the fun part of your B-day!  smiley
Logged
Herestoyourhealth
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 134


« Reply #10 on: September 02, 2010, 02:33:25 PM »

Major blowout yesterday...

First my boss questioned me about why there was a rumor at the neighborhood pub that he was not able to meet payroll and that his assistant nearly didn't get paid.   ? ? ?  (I do his bookkeeping part-time.)  The fact is that his tax office did not have payroll ready on the normal day, so I changed my schedule to pick up payroll two days later so that the assistant would still get his check early.  The facts make for a pretty boring story.  My boss has no problem meeting payroll.  I apologized for anything I said which snowballed into that weird "grapevine, rumor-mill" twist, and that I would not say a word about anything to do with his company in the future.  I only told BPDman about my schedule change and why, and he is working in my neighborhood pub.  So he is obviously now painting me black, and getting me in trouble with my boss.

That made me think I needed to go check in at the pub to listen for whatever other rumors might be floating while I've been staying home and avoiding him.  I called and my friend was filling in for him at work and said he was not there drinking, so she didn't think he would show up.  So I go to happy hour.  He calls my friend who is working for him and asked her if I was there.  She told him "No."  (I wish she would not have lied.  There was no need.)  He told her that he was going to go home.  While she was relating the phone call to me, in he walks.  He was probably sitting in the parking lot looking at my car when he called her.   rolleyes

Uggghhh...I don't even think I can go into the details of the couple of hours that followed right now...without spewing.  Let's just say he ended up following me out to my car (uninvited) and raging.  Maybe I can deal with venting the details later.  I just can't deal with it right now.   barfy   PD traits  PD traits  PD traits  
Logged
GlennT
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 795



« Reply #11 on: September 02, 2010, 02:43:18 PM »

I am still being stalked by my psychotic ex wife, and a Restraining order or Order of Protection does nothing except put them 30 days in the hole. But if they endanger your life, they will be in longer. Social Security will give you a new number and name for free, and then you have to move. This is the best our system has to offer.
Logged

Always remember what they do:Idealize. Devalue. Discard.
Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.~ Churchill
Herestoyourhealth
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 134


« Reply #12 on: September 02, 2010, 04:27:06 PM »

Glenn,

That is scary and disheartening.  To have to give up your identity and life because of someone else's criminal behavior is...I can't even think of the right word...but I feel very sad and angry at the same time.

I'm really hoping I don't have to involve the legal system, but after last night I may have to.  I think he finally realized that I am not kidding about not wanting to date him anymore.  However, every time I combine "me thinking" and "him realizing" together in one sentence, I lose.  "BPD realization" is an oxymoron.

Well, thank you for sharing your story.  I feel for you.
Logged
Herestoyourhealth
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 134


« Reply #13 on: September 02, 2010, 05:21:51 PM »

Ok, I'm going to try one more time to relate some of last night's details.  I'll just focus on three triggers which set him off into the most explosive rage.

There was not a seat open next to me when he arrived, so he was sitting about 6 seats away.  He walked over and put a college-logo baseball cap in front of me and said, "Here.  I got you this."  I said "I can't accept that," and tried to hand it back to him.  He didn't take it, but went back to his seat and started talking to me across all the people between us.  "Why can't you accept it?  You told me you wanted one."  I said "That was 2 to 3 months ago when we were dating.  I don't feel it's appropriate for me to accept gifts from you now."  The conversation went on with him trying to show everyone how generous he is, and how "weird" I am for not accepting his gift.

When the female friend next to me left, he took the opportunity to move next to me.  He did ask if I minded if he sat there.  All I could muster was a pained look on my face, a grimmace maybe.  He said "Well you didn't say No."  (My mistake.)  I moved the cap in front of him.  Shortly he was holding it over my head that he had given me a pay-as-you-go phone early in our relationship...which I never answered anymore.  I took the phone out of my purse, put it on the bar with the cap and said, "Yes, I should probably give this back to you."  I reminded him that he had sent a series of nasty text messages Friday evening, and he said "Yes.  You should have answered the phone".  I told him I was next door that evening and didn't even have the phone with me, but that the texts were not "normal".  I flipped the phone open and read his texts to him.  He just nodded his head and acted like the threatening texts were perfectly acceptable.   rolleyes  Then he began the loud rage-voice, "Even my therapist thinks you're crazy!"  Huh?  Where did that come from?  But I hope he did start therapy...last he told me it was too expensive and he wasn't gong to start.

I finished my beer.  He asked if I wanted another.  I said "No."  He said "I'll buy."  I said "No."  He said "Are you going to buy your own?"  I said "I'm not having another beer."  He said "So you're going home then?"  I said "Yes I'm leaving."  He seemed shocked "You really don't want another beer?"  Me:  "NO.  I'm leaving."  I got up, went to the Ladies room, then directly to the bar phone.  I called my neighbors who had told me to call them when I was coming home so they could keep an eye open if he followed me home again.  Then I walked as quickly as I could to my car.  As soon as I got in and locked the door, there he was at the window about to go into full-blown verbal attack.

Well, I know I rejected him three times:  not accepting a gift, giving his phone back, and not accepting a beer.  I should have seen the rage coming.
Logged
2010
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 811


« Reply #14 on: September 02, 2010, 07:59:30 PM »

Quote
I'd also like any opinions on whether it is safer to try to taper off, or just cut the cord and go NC.
You’ve answered your own question as to whether or not it is best to “taper off” or end all contact. It’s obvious that you’re tapering off still allows him access to you and that looks like a relationship to him.

There’s a measure of self-responsibility here that’s lacking- and your poor boundaries are not going to become strengthened with the addition of a TRO. Getting a legal definition of a firm boundary does not give you more power to protect your own failures at disengaging. You have to abide by common sense.

If someone is stalking you- you don’t sit with them on a bleacher. You don’t drink beers with them, you don’t call them on the phone and you don’t do their part-time bookkeeping for them. To the Police, it might appear as though you are not serious and are purposefully engaging this person.  If you want someone out of your life- you remove yourself from their radar screen. 

Ask yourself why you wouldn’t just get up and walk away from someone whom you feel presents such a danger to you.  Why instead, would you sit there side by side on a bleacher?  If the answer is that you refuse to change your routine for him- then do not bluff on the TRO. The Police want to know if you are serious- and TRO’s are there to protect people when they have done all that they could do and failing that- need serious help. Most people who file TRO’s are in hiding from their stalkers. TRO’s are *not* used to change the behavior of the person charged. They are to help separate people (in form of a legal boundary) with the emphasis on the person using their own behavior at getting away.

Getting a legal definition of a firm boundary does not give you more power to protect your own failures at disengaging. You have to abide by common sense. There’s a measure of self-responsibility here that’s lacking. This isn’t about him it’s about you.  Your poor boundaries are not going to become strengthened with the addition of a TRO.

So ask yourself before you bring in the legal aspect, “what more I could do?”  Most of the time all it takes is to detach and let go- lay low and change your routine. Do not engage, Do not call. Do not frequent the Bar that he goes too.  Given time he will disengage and go away- and there won’t be a TRO to keep you bound together forever legally in the future tense. 

Good luck~* Doing the right thing
Logged
Herestoyourhealth
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 134


« Reply #15 on: September 02, 2010, 09:29:53 PM »

2010,

Thank you for your input.  You have written a lot of good posts on these forums, and I appreciate your input.

Last night was the final straw for me to make the decision to go NC.  I was hoping that he would fade out and meet someone new if I did a slow tapering off, and it would not have had to get to a point where we couldn't be in the same room together.  In that sense, I think it was good that I took one final seat on the bleachers with him.


Ask yourself why you wouldn’t just get up and walk away from someone whom you feel presents such a danger to you.  Why instead, would you sit there side by side on a bleacher?  If the answer is that you refuse to change your routine for him...


I have spent 9 years building my "routine" of going to happy hour at this particular neighborhood pub a couple days a week.  I have developed my friends and acquaintences there and we all like to relax and catch up on our lives.  So yes, I have some frustration and anger that he has taken over my primary social territory.  This man was not a regular and doesn't live in the neighborhood.  He started taking over my "space" the day he met me.  So because I got tangled up with someone with BPD, I have to give up my social life.  That is very aggravating.  He knows that when I avoid the pub to avoid him, he is ruining my established social schedule.  It puts him in control and isolates me.  I do understand that my safety is part of self-responsibility though.

You wrote quite a bit about TRO's.  That would only be a last resort.


You don’t drink beers with them, you don’t call them on the phone and you don’t do their part-time bookkeeping for them.


My writing earlier may not have been clear.  I am keeping books for someone else.  BPDman started a false rumor about my boss's company to get me into hot water at work.

Thank you again 2010.  I do appreciate your input here as well as on the rest of the forum.   x
Logged
RealEyes
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 550


WWW
« Reply #16 on: September 02, 2010, 09:57:33 PM »

You wrote quite a bit about TRO's.  That would only be a last resort.

Since they r known to self harm, TPOs can give someone that has a past record of dealing with DV a safety net of protection against PD if they aim their harm our way, then of course go into blaming as usual~ Use it whenever u feel a serious threat by anyone, mentally ill or not~ The RO i got not only keeps me safer from him,, but him from me since i own a registered weapon and couldn't resist him, so i did this for him too~ Anyway, our taxes pay for such safety nets~
Logged
skipper
**
Offline Offline

Posts: 160


« Reply #17 on: September 03, 2010, 08:38:15 AM »

  Here's,

   So sorry to hear that things are not going well. Not surprised though. N/C is your only option. I realize it sucks to have to give up your social life at the pub. It seems that your friends there are aware of this guys instability so perhaps some of them would agree to meet you at another pub. The beer's probably just as cold there right? Are there any witness's to his rage? I would think that someone should accompany you to your car and make sure you get out of there safely.

I see that you are reluctant to give in, and resent his control of your comings and goings. I understand this, but in this situation you will never win. If you don't talk to him or knowingly go where he may be it does give you the power in some respect. Not giving him what he is demanding{ and needing} is a win. Listen to all the advice here...hard lessons we've all learned and unfortunately had to apply when dealing with pwBPD. Hugs.
Logged
TonyC
Distinguished Member
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 11419


WWW
« Reply #18 on: September 03, 2010, 08:42:14 AM »

my ex would be in my driveway whatever time i got home...
she would come to the club i werked at..
she would stop by my day job...

and the kicker is .. she was already living with someone...

i used the last resort... the cops..
Logged

Herestoyourhealth
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 134


« Reply #19 on: September 03, 2010, 09:54:36 AM »

Hi Skipper,

Thank you for commenting here.  I missed your useful comments since my "Intro" thread.   x


The beer's probably just as cold there right? Are there any witness's to his rage?


The other pubs are dark, too young a crowd, and too noisy (loud music) to have a conversation, or just plain too rough a crowd.  The regulars at this place affectionately call it the "old people bar", or even joke about it being the neighborhood "senior citizen center".  Other options are just not the same.   cry

As far as witnesses to his rage, he has yelled at a couple of customers as well as at the daytime bar manager.  My friend who fills in for him when he can't work said he did not show up for either of his shifts yesterday, or return any of her calls about working for him.  Maybe he has walked out on that job and will go back to his own neighborhood.  (Or I'm in wishful thinking mode.)


Listen to all the advice here...hard lessons we've all learned and unfortunately had to apply when dealing with pwBPD. Hugs.

I do resent that my once-stable life has been shaken up to this extreme by a four month dating relationship.  And yes, I am listening and I do appreciate all the advice here.  Thank you so much again for adding your valuable input.   x
Logged
Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Top Spacer
index.php?topic=136462.msg1331265#msg1331265
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.10 | SMF © 2006-2010, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!