greetings friends,

as of yesterday my d13 has been at the residential treatment center for exactly 3 months.  so we are on our 4th month.  we had our family therapist session yesterday...no new topics covered really.  i did absolutely and joyfully recognize a new sense of ownership for her behaviors, past and present. like:  admitting the reason why she did not get very many hugs from us was because she didn't want them...because she "hated" us.  not anymore!  

i asked her how we can best support you if you are having a difficult time?  she gave me a list of 4 things:  hug me even if is say I don't want a hug, listen to me express my feelings, speak to me in a calm voice, remind me of my tools like visualization.

 

i walked around all day yesterday with a huge smile on my face!

just thinking about it now I have a cheesy   !

lbjnltx

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BPD d13 in residential treatment center «

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What huge, marvelous progress, lbjnltx! 

I am so happy to hear your news.

Savor these moments and remember them.

Mega compliments to your daughter. She is doing awesome!

   

victoria

thanks for sharing, you sure made my day!
LD

dear friends,                     

thank  you for celebrating with me.  I know so many of  you are having an especially difficult time right now.  I have been in that state in the past far too many times to ever forget the pain, confusion, frustration and fear.

we leave on sept. the 15th and will see her the next am early.  we will have our days there filled w/family and group therapy events.  she has gotten caught up in her math and is working hard to finish up a few past assignments in her other 3 classes.  she is taking full responsibility for the possibility that she will not be allowed to leave the campus with us for some "free" time due to being behind in school work and is trying to reverse the damage she may have caused for herself and US!  she sees that her choices have affects on others. 

at our last family therapist session the individual therapist told us that BPDd-13 was allowed to "work" at the rv park across the road.  this is seen as a huge privilege that must be earned.  most of the time the girls take 5-6 months to earn that privilege...my d has earned it in 3 months!
my reply to d:  "you must have proven yourself to be very trustworthy to have earned that privilege so soon."  BPDd-13:  "yes. I worked hard."          her sense of entitlement seems to have vanished due to the structure and steel beam boundaries of the residential treatment center.  I hope that all this will continue when she gets home.

BPDd-13 also told me that she is in charge of the care taking of all the small animals at the residential treatment center.  cats, dogs, rabbits, chickens, and I think she said a goat.  she is allowed to ask another girl to help her if she wishes but usually just has them help her carry the feed.  she sounds so very happy with herself...i am humbled by how blessed we are.

lbjnltx

Besides all the great work she is doing (and her wonderfully supportive family   ) this gives me such a sense that your daughter can and will make it - a love of animals and really taking care of them seriously is such a sign of a loving heart!

Have a great visit on the 15th, I'll be thinking of you,
LD 

I sure hope you have a blessed visit...does it feel like the twilight zone? She probably takes after you in some ways..kind heart ... all we can do is keep on trying to find the real people they are behind the emotions. 

family therapy session # 11

after starting the session today w/chit chat about a book she is reading "The Ultimate Gift" we talked about boundaries once more.

BPDd-13 announced that she working w/her project horse Little Doc yesterday and that she was very assertive w/him!  she is so proud of herself for being assertive.  she has been working on that for a few weeks.  she has been reluctant to be assertive and establish boundaries w/her horse for fear that he would reject her and not "love" her anymore.  when the therapist explained to her that healthy boundaries strengthen relationships and BPD understood her explanation BPDd-13 had another  moment!  she said "OH!  I see now" "i get how my parents feel when I don't respect their boundaries"  "they set boundaries for my safety because they love me"  "that feels really good". 

the therapist said that the change in my daughter is amazing.  she is happy, glows, energetic and delightful...  my BPDd-13 said "it feels good to be happy" therapist replied "you didn't want to be happy before did you?"  BPDd-13 said "no. I want to be happy now though".

t asked for book recommendation on dbt for adolescents...said she has not been able to find any...?  I had ordered 2 last year for therapist at home to learn dbt for my d.  I emailed her the books available on amazon.com...there were at least 5 for dbt/adolescents...guess they were not looking in the right place... ?

this week and until we see her next thursday-sunday BPDd-13 is working on being in her Wise Mind and keeping her emotions in check.  she thinks she will be all caught up in her school work by the end of today and says she has been working really hard in Positive Peer Culture group therapy as well as getting along on the unit w/staff and other girls.  she and I are so excited to see each other.  she is happy, she is proud of herself, she is becoming my beloved daughter, my real daughter again.

i can only praise God for leading me to falcon ridge ranch, for providing the financial means to put and keep her there, for giving me the courage to follow through with this plan, for touching her and healing her, for opening her eyes to the truth, and for keeping me near to Him when I am discouraged, doubtful, or sad.

i hope that one day very very soon all of you will know this feeling.  I don't kid myself into believing she is perfect...she is still a teen after all and she still has disorders...that doesn't mean she can't be healthy though...it is just harder for her to manage her life...now she has the skills...now she knows they work because she is using them successfully...now she wants to live...now she wants to be happy...now she is educated above and beyond what most adults are in her awareness and mindfulness of self and others...she is great!

lbjnltx

lbj - I agree with swammped - your story gives us all hope that better things are always possible with our troubled kids. Gotta keep letting them know we love them and that we believe they can do what needs to be done to get a better life.

Thanks so much for sharing your story. qcr

greetings moms,

just wanted to pop in and say wow!  we are having such a great experience here with our daughter.  she is doing awesome...she's glowing with joy and confidence in herself.  the residential treatment center has allowed her to go off campus with us today for 5 hours and tomorrow for 7 hours.

we shopped, swam, ate and played an impromptu game of basketball at the city park!  so much fun!  BPDd-13 is open, honest, concerned for others (including us).

we have had family therapy, family equine therapy, parent group meeting, Positive Peer Culture parent meeting and tomorrow am we go to the graduation ceremony and performance.  4 girls are graduating the program.

the saddest thing is the lack of support of many of the moms here at the residential treatment center.  they have no one outside their core family who understands their lives, feelings, thoughts,...  I wish I could send them all the love and support that I have received from this site..


 

lbjnltx

So heartwarming and thank you for sharing. Imagining my girl happy right now seems a million miles away until you spent the time to write this up. Thank you so much x x x