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Think About It... What is the biology of the break-up. Attachment styles that emerge early in life influence how people handle breakups later on—and how they react to them.. Those with a secure attachment style—whose caregivers, by being generally responsive, instilled a sense of trust that they would always be around when needed—are most likely to approach breakups with psychological integrity. ~ Skip
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Author Topic: Does anyone know the average life expectancy of a BPD relationship?  (Read 2148 times)
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Posts: 185

« on: November 15, 2010, 04:07:14 PM »

How long is it generally before things go bad? The therapist I went to, who was the one who pointed out that my wife sounded like she had all the signs of BPD/NPD, told me that it was unusual to last as long as we have in this kind of relationship. ( 20 yrs total)
formerly "reevega"
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Posts: 682

« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2010, 04:14:10 PM »

I think it has a lot to do with our weaknesses. I put up with horrible abuse but stuck it out because my self esteem was such crap and she was such a nugget of arm candy. It lasted 11 years with 5 married. It should probably have been over in a year or two.
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Gender: Female
Posts: 144

« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2010, 04:25:44 PM »

From my experience and posts on here a couple of months before the abuse starts.  I did 9 years but most of those we didnt live together.  I work she didn't and I had children who came first so...I guess that kept my sanity.  No way could I have taken that crap 24/7.  But in a way I think it was bad as I would have got out sooner if  I had lived with her the whole time...
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Gender: Male
Posts: 5310

« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2010, 04:59:16 PM »

I think a lot of it depends on children involved, physical health of pwBPD, ability of pwBPD to earn a living & how big a weenie the NON is. They all came together in a perfect storm for me, especially the weenie part. 40 years here.

Life is short. Shorter for some than others.
GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?
This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving
All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)
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