The Buddha & The Borderline - Kiera Van Gelder

[liteknight]

The Buddha and the Borderline
Kiera Van Gelder



Book Description

The Buddha and the Borderline is a first-person account of one woman's struggle with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and her eventual triumph over her symptoms through dialectical behavior therapy and Buddhist spirituality.

About the Author

Kiera Van Gelder, MFA, is an artist, educator, and writer diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. An international speaker and advocate, she is featured in the documentary Back from the Edge: Living With and Recovering From Borderline Personality Disorder. She currently lives in Massachusetts at a Buddhist meditation center.

    * Pub. Date: August 2010
    * Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
    * Format: Paperback , 280pp
    * ISBN-13: 9781572247109
    * ISBN: 157224710X




I just finished reading a book called "The buddha and the borderline" written by a woman who recovered from BPD. It was honest and witty and helped me feel more compassion toward my BPD ex and was a good influence as part of my healing process.
    The book is about her journey thru BPD but more importantly its about a person's journey towards healing that translates to the rest of us who are struggling with post relationship fall out and our struggles with the healing process. It opened up a few doors in my mind and in my heart and helped me to let go of a lot of the anger and resentment that i had toward my uBPDxgf. And inspired me to really look at my "sh*t" in a new way and what I need to work out to make healthier choices for my life in the future.
     It  didnt inspire ANY feeling of hoping to return to the relationship. No false hope. I liked it more than the "Get Me Out Of Here" memoir.

   The other helpful thing was it help illuminate some of the BPD-like traits that I picked up after being in a long term relationship with my BPDx.
    
Anyway - just wanted to share something I found helpful in my recovery process.

Thanks - LK

[damask]

Hey, I got this book, based on this review.  I get tired of reading all the informative stuff of what is wrong w/my bpdh, how I can help my bpdh, how I can help myself cause I'm w/a bpdh...soooooo.  I got this book.  Liked that the Buddha was involved w/the title, and that it is a story told in the voice of a woman who recovered from bpd.

It is a great book, you're right!  She is a very good writer, never a dull moment.  I am enjoying waiting to see how each moment unfolds.  It kind of makes me sad, cause my bpdh is undiagnosed, and not seeking help.  Plus, it is such a state of constant turmoil they are in.  Gives one quite an insight.  Thanks!

[chinadoll]

I appreciated this book a lot.  It really helped me to understand the lived experience of someone with constant, never ending emotional dysregulation.  For those of us on the outside, we may have an expectation that someone with BPD should be able to regulate themselves.  WHat I got from this book is that they do not know how.
It made me develop a lot more compassion.  I also appreciated the courage of the author to share the intimate details of her struggles.  I liked the portrayal of both her humility and strength.  I recommended this book to no fewer than half dozen others and we all reported that it was very helpful.

[tiredmommy2]

I loved this book as well.

I was getting a little bit tired of the boring clinical books, so I ordered this one.  It was very well written & informative, yet so witty, funny, entertaining & just plain raw at times.  The author spared no details of her private struggles & I found that refreshing.  I walked around sleep deprived for days because I just couldn't put this book down!
I finished this book with a better understanding of what my d is dealing with & would recommend it to anyone dealing with a pwBPD.

[Stacy Pershall]

I'd just like to say how much I love this book.  Kiera rules!

[damask]

I read your book also, Stacy.  You also rock!

[Moorpark]

I just read this book from cover to cover a few weeks ago.  It was excellent!  She describes in detail how and why she feels.  This helped me to realized I'm not the only wierd one out there.

[MaybeSo]

I am about 1/2 way through this book and I do find it to be well done.

Selfishly...I am hoping a book will be authored by a less 'traditional' pwBPD soon...like a male instead of the stereotyped female,  someone who is high funtioning, not sucicidal, can hold down jobs okay, is not cutting etc. but has struggling with the impact of this disorder nontheless.  I think BPD has many faces...and I'd love to see a success story with someone who doesn't meet all the classic traditional signs of what the main stream media seems to think of as being 'borderline'.  Though I do not want to take away from this book at all...any enlightened education about this disorder AT ALL is so welcome and so important.

[Sadforson]

I just finished this book.  A brilliant painful insightful tour of the world through the eyes of someone suffering with this disorder.  Funny too.  Very insightful and very helpful.  In the end she doesn't overcome her borderline tendencies as much as grow to understand herself as larger than her emotions.  Highly recommended.

[puglover]

This is a great book. I found this book allowed me to have a lot more empathy for my ex bf. Definately recommend it. This book is what has inspired me to seek out DBT therapy for myself.

[swampped]

This book changed the way I look at uBPDdil, her struggles, her cycles, and what my DS is dealing with in trying to maintain a relationship with his 3 year old daughter.  A wonderful insight into the disordered thinking, and the day to day pain of a pwBPD.  I found it very helpful personally, and have shared it with others.  An excellent adjunct to the "technical" books about BPD.

[seeking balance]

This book is compelling as a story, but on a deeper level - truly shows how even a person who does everything right and know what to do and not to do can still struggle.
I found the line, "a life worth living" to be very powerful and can be applied to anyone's life.

I would recommend this book to anyone who has a pwbpd in their life.  As a story itself, I found it quite good and am considering recommending it to my book club.

[bpdfamfan]

I rated this book "excellent"
Absolutely loved it.
I considered letting my teen read it but decided against it due to some sexually-related content.
Still think it's a great, worthwhile read 

[exbpdgf]

I just read this book last week and I loved it! I'm about 5-6 months into post-breakup with uBPD. I did not see it until it was over and now it is so obvious. There has been so many hurtful actions after the breakup that left me hurt and angry. Her friends reached out to me, but when they told me things  (usually painting me black or some form of dishonesty), I'd get angry-then I'd look like the crazy person.

This book really helped me get some compassion for my uBPD. I have a better sense of her pain and frankly with my own background (lots of trauma), I'm amazed I'm not BPD too. A sort of "there but for the grace of god go I" moment. So after reading this book, I find myself waaaay less angry and way more compassionate (and convinced I did the right thing in leaving)

[ontherox]

I thought this book was terrific, it_

[momma]

I found this book extremely honest and well written. It helped me to understand and empathize with my daughter more. I read it about a year ago just after we found out our daughter had BPD. I liked it because it gave me insight into what goes on inside the heart and mind of a borderline. After reading it I passed it on to my daughter and she instantly felt a connection with Kiera. She said it made her feel less alone to know that others felt what she was feeling. I would highly recommend this book.

C

[vivekananda]

I just finished reading the book. I thought it was excellent. It was beautifully written, it was a wonderfully authentic story of hope and possibility and it had lots of good learning in it about ways to encourage recovery.

I think it should be essential reading for any parent with an adult child with BPD. It provides an insight that will benefit any parent in understanding what their child could be experiencing.

The book encourages compassion for pwBPD, for those who love them and for those beyond this circle.

I found the book very moving,

cheers,
Vivek 

[qwaszx]

great book, a lot of insight:D makes me wonder hows shes doing now