Is "no empathy" a BPD (or NPD) trait?

[pallavirajsinghani]

Hello there:   I believe that "Sympathy" and "Empathy" could be two different traits.  One can have empathy, but not be sympathetic.  "Empathy" to me means an intuitive ability to understand another, however, this understanding alone may not automatically mean sympathy.  Perhaps the Narcissists and people who suffer from other personality disorders have strong empathy, but they misuse this ability for their own ends. 

For example, in my mind, knowledge in itself may not imply wisdom...these are two separate facets altogether.

Hope my post is not confusing...

[O'Maria]

I love to read your comments.

From experience I know I did not see any Empathy for other people. None. I did not see any Sympathy either which started to bother me. I was the one who gave both, he did not give anything in return. DEAD END STREET. This is the basics for my question.

I still wonder if there is a certain unresponsive region in their brain. He used to look at me like a child with no reactions when I talked about emotions.

[beyondbelief]

Most of the posts here talk about lack of empathy.  My experience has been one of empathy splitting.  Here is an example.

The BPD in my life worked in restaurants when young.  So she would insist on leaving 30%+ tips whenever we dined out “because they work so hard for so little”.  On the other hand I could work 80 hours in a week and get raged at or the silent treatment for being lazy for sleeping in on my day off.

Any thoughts?

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[Matt]

My wife would pull over and give someone who needed it money, or buy them food.  But for days or even weeks at a time, not a kind word for me - rages, threats and accusations.

I can't really explain it, except that it's a disorder of intimate relationships;  that person she gave money or food to, she didn't have to deal with as an equal...