Been away son was back in Hosp

[Think About It....]

Another inpatient hospital stay.  Was cleaning son's room and came acrossed his journal where he had written that he was having suicidal thoughts.  He also had an entry that he stated he had a beer with his father and this scares the hell out of me since Ive made it totally clear that no drinking what so ever is to take place around my son.  I dont know what to believe.  Do I believe that it was all just writting or do I believe that it is true.  My S does not want me to say anything to his father and Ive made it clear that I will NOT lie for him and if I am asked I will be truthful as lying solves absolutely nothing.
For some reason my son has a lot of anger and resentment against me and feels that his father is one step below God.  Perhaps it is wanting what he cannot have, a caring and loving father.  I just dont know what to think anymore.  I would move mountains for my S if he just lets me in a little.  Just crack the door a bit.  My cup runeth over.  I am stressing...

[EJ12010]

Another inpatient hospital stay.  Was cleaning son's room and came acrossed his journal where he had written that he was having suicidal thoughts.  He also had an entry that he stated he had a beer with his father and this scares the hell out of me since Ive made it totally clear that no drinking what so ever is to take place around my son.  I dont know what to believe.  Do I believe that it was all just writting or do I believe that it is true.  My S does not want me to say anything to his father and Ive made it clear that I will NOT lie for him and if I am asked I will be truthful as lying solves absolutely nothing.
For some reason my son has a lot of anger and resentment against me and feels that his father is one step below God.  Perhaps it is wanting what he cannot have, a caring and loving father.  I just dont know what to think anymore.  I would move mountains for my S if he just lets me in a little.  Just crack the door a bit.  My cup runeth over.  I am stressing...

[lbjnltx]

hello ej,

sorry to hear that your son has slipped back into the dark shadows of this disorder.

has he been spending more time w/his dad lately?  has it been consistent?

when the other parent is not on board w/the values you are TRYING to instill in your son it must be so very frustrating!  like having a disordered son isn't enough! ;p

whether or not your son is being honest in his writings...a brief conversation based in care and concern may be in order...something like "i am concerned that your attitude about underage drinking may get you in trouble.  i want you to know that i understand the pressures you may feel to participate with others who are drinking.  i also know how strong willed you can be and hope you will use your strength to resist the pressure" or something of that nature.

what do you think?  what other options might you have?

 

lbjnltx

[EJ12010]

I have expressed my concerns with my S and have let him know that I am not mad and have only deep concern for him and his choices.  My S called his father when he was in the hospital and told him where he was but did not tell him why.  His father never called me to see what had happened and this leads me to believe that he has no intention of being more than a friend.  If the roles were reversed, I would be knocking down doors to find out what was going on.  My S has a hard time with honesty.  He minimizes everything and if he can blame things on other ppl he does just that.  His father takes him every Sat.  9-3.  I think that I will need to call his father and talk to him privately and inform him of what has transpired.  He will either just blow it off or talk to his S about things.  Either way, Ive been doing this by myself and I will continue to do so, with or without his help.  There have been many changes in my son's attitude at home.  He was finally smiling and laughing yesterday.  This I have not seen in years and it really warmed heart.  I will keep the faith.

[lbjnltx]

 

[EJ12010]

 Hi!

My son's attitude towards things at home has changed for the time being.  There are no arguments when I ask him to do things.  I just ask him once and let it go.  He has been very compliant with his daily chores.  I am so happy  to have a calm household after 13 years that I really find it difficult to accept the change.  Things have been tense for so long that it is strange for things to be so relaxed.  We have had quite a few days when we have been able to laugh and have a good time together. I prayed to God so hard last night that this continues.

About a month ago I went to my GP as I was having severe depression to the point where I had to talk myself into doing everything.  I was only doing things when I was left no other choice.  I was dx years ago with OCD and even that went by the wayside.  I used to keep an impecable home and as of right now it is a MESS.  Perhaps that was my escape from my issues at home.  My GP referred me for therapy and the mental health field in my state is a farce.  I have been approved for 19 visits and they have not called me back yet with an appointment.  It is no wonder why ppl go postal.  It is very disheartning.  I need to find ME again.

[lbjnltx]

dear ej,

were you able to visit with dear sons' father?  how did that go?

My GP referred me for therapy and the mental health field in my state is a farce.  I have been approved for 19 visits and they have not called me back yet with an appointment.

it is very difficult to break into the system ... it is most likely over taxed, understaffed and disjointed.  be your own advocate.  the squeaky wheel gets the grease!

let us know how you and son are doing.

 

lbjnltx

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