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Think About It... An individual’s overall life functioning is linked closely to his level of emotional maturity or differentiation. People select ... partners who have the same level of emotional maturity.
Emotional immaturity manifests in unrealistic needs and expectations. ~ Murray Bowen, M.D.
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Author Topic: Alcohol and BPD  (Read 2684 times)
stilldazed

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« on: March 05, 2011, 10:12:39 AM »

Without alcohol, BPD issues were relatively slight and we could live quite easily together.

Unfortunately, whatever goes on with the BPD psyche I don't truly know,  but I assume the rage/anger/annoyance triggers were just too great to keep him away from drinking for long.   The alcohol just escalated all the madness.   It brought a lot of other issues with it too that became insurmountable.

But I read on this site that someone said that without alcohol the BPD issues seemed more acute.   I just wonder what the range of experiences are with BPD and alcohol.
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« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2011, 10:38:30 AM »

Good Morning Stilldazed...it has been my experience that when dealing with alcohol abuse and a suspected mental health issue...you need to eliminate the alcohol/drug first...so know exactly what you are dealing with. Many people who abuse substances have some sort of chemical imbalance and the booze/drugs is a way of self medicating...one thing can escalate the other (mental health issues can increase drug/alcohol consumption...drug/alcohol can magnify mental health behaviours). Have you tried attending Al-Anon meetings? You might find a lot of support there as well as here...a dual diagnosis can be difficult to deal with on your own.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.
stilldazed

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« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2011, 02:23:41 PM »

My relationship is ending.  Has ended?  I am in the process of detaching and trying to do the 'no contact' which is hurting a lot, but I'm trying.

He is killing himself with alcohol right now and there is nothing I can do.  I used to think if he managed to give it up we would be happy.  Now I realise that the alcohol is something he self-medicates to deal with his raging emotions. 

It's pretty hopeless.   I guess that is a breakthrough for me to finally realise I can't do anything about it.   Feels like a lifetime of trying to find him help but nothing ever works.  Like I said, it's hopeless.

Not sure why I still have so many questions but I still do.

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Senra
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« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2011, 12:05:42 AM »

Alcohol complicates things immensely...my uBPDbf def has a problem w alcohol and it makes the BPD symptoms worse (in his case it just depresses his mood which triggers dysregulation).  Unlike tools you can use to manage the BPD that actually make a dif, there's not much you can do to help manage a substance abuse issue in terms of stopping the abuse.  I feel a lot more hopeful about the BPD than I do abt the alcohol problem, LOL.  Although, I suspect that if his BPD continues to improve then his behavior around alcohol might also, to some degree...
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