My BPD spouse began obsessing over the Sandy Hook tragedy on the day after it occurred. I was also very upset. We have a very large home and live on opposite ends, as our contact is quite limited. I was doing laundry and she initiated a rant about Sandy Hook that went to a rant about people calling her daughter a whore to a rant about people calling her a whore and eventually to me being some kind of pervert and how I didn't realize how close she was to killing herself.
Naturally, I freaked out. She has always engaged in self-mutilation, but never vocalized suicide.
I had already contacted MHMR authorities (Mental Health & Mental Retardation Centralized Intake
) and got a "hotline" card from them.
Calling MHMR was pointless. They asked if she was armed or taking pills. If not, then there was no "emergency".
I called the County Judge
and with his help got them to respond two days later. The Sherrif's Dept
responded and picked her up only to return her two hours later without advising me. I found out when she surprized me in the kitchen with "I'm going to kill you." She laughed and added, "Don't you think I know how to escape?" I didn't think it was funny, but did not react openly.
I then called the MHMR people and it took 4 hours for them to give me a response..."She doesn't appear to be a threat to herself and others now. She just feels guilty about letting you molest her daughter."
You can only imagined how I freaked.
I demanded a meeting and they made a home visit
that night. They said that they could not force her to seek help and would run a 7 day evaluation and report. No offer to clue me in on the results of the report. No offer of support to me. As they were leaving my home, my BPD spouse told them that I was "punishing her" (for what I don't know). As the MHMR people drove away my BPD spouse lit up a joint she had squirreled away.
Needless to say, they have not contacted me. 7 days have come and gone. So much for caring.
It is easy to say that the mental health care system is bad, but I imagine that's only because I actually expected something.
Tomorrow may be New Year's eve, but I'm going to see my attorney, the County Judge, and whomever else necessary to put an end to this lunacy.