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Think About It... A person with Borderline Personality Disorder often presents with a characteristic relationship pattern over time. This pattern usually evolves through three stages: The Vulnerable Seducer, The Clinger, and The Hater. This evolution may take months, and sometimes even years to cycle through. In the later periods, the personality often swings back and forth from one phase to the next. ~ Roger Melton, M.A..
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Author Topic: What kind of friends to BPD women usually have?  (Read 12738 times)
Matthew_Taylor801
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« on: April 21, 2011, 01:22:30 PM »

I made an interesting observation about my ex and am thinking there may be a correlation. Her closest friend is a 21 year old girl who is a bit immature. the two of them go out drinking a lot and her friend really looks up to her for some reason.  SHe has another good friend who has a lot of emotional issues and can never make her own decisions and her life is a total mess and always goes to my ex for advice.  Its like she chooses friends who she can control or influence but doesnt necessarily practice what she preaches...anyway just an observation i made
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havana
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« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2011, 01:23:52 PM »

They have the non existant kind or they are hundreds of miles away.
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DragonHeart
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« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2011, 01:30:31 PM »

From my observations, the BPD female normally has a large number of male friends, more so than women. Time and time again, I hear the same story from everyone else -- that their BPDxgf found women to be too btchy, so that was their excuse for friending so many guys. However, if you closely observe the dynamics behind this, you will find that they don't really friend men, they like to have guys around them to constantly gas up their egos, and to always tease these attention givers. Also, they enjoy flirting with them to get their s/o's jealous. I don't know if they are aware that they are doing this, but that's exactly what they are doing.
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nwpbroke
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« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2011, 01:53:00 PM »

I made an interesting observation about my ex and am thinking there may be a correlation. Her closest friend is a 21 year old girl who is a bit immature. the two of them go out drinking a lot and her friend really looks up to her for some reason.  SHe has another good friend who has a lot of emotional issues and can never make her own decisions and her life is a total mess and always goes to my ex for advice.  Its like she chooses friends who she can control or influence but doesnt necessarily practice what she preaches...anyway just an observation i made

Mine was similar, but this friend was an epic slut, so i would consider her the enabler, forcing my "innocent" BPD girl to do bad things and hang around men ect.  But in the end she was just like this girl.
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TheSomberlain
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aka "Somber"


« Reply #4 on: April 21, 2011, 01:54:32 PM »

They have the non existant kind or they are hundreds of miles away.

I LOL'd (because it's true)

Though I think there needs to be a third category.

Trashy friends.
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nwpbroke
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« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2011, 01:58:57 PM »

They have the non existant kind or they are hundreds of miles away.

I LOL'd (because it's true)

Though I think there needs to be a third category.

Trashy friends.

yeah def trash or the good ones are from college, she would go visit them, but now i wonder if she was visiting dudes.  Man she played me, one time away took a picture of a penguin doll i bough her saying this is the only thing she would snuggle when she was away.


This whole experience has really jaded my view of the opposite sex, no offense to women, but alot of them can appear to be amazing people then have this soulless pit inside of them ready to devour you.
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TheSomberlain
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« Reply #6 on: April 21, 2011, 02:14:30 PM »

They have the non existant kind or they are hundreds of miles away.

I LOL'd (because it's true)

Though I think there needs to be a third category.

Trashy friends.

yeah def trash or the good ones are from college, she would go visit them, but now i wonder if she was visiting dudes.  Man she played me, one time away took a picture of a penguin doll i bough her saying this is the only thing she would snuggle when she was away.


This whole experience has really jaded my view of the opposite sex, no offense to women, but alot of them can appear to be amazing people then have this soulless pit inside of them ready to devour you.

In my experience, the "good ones" are short lived. Trust is a HUGE issue with BPDs and the people that they can't control are harder to trust. Ergo, their relationships decay quickly with people we would consider "good."
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There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
nwpbroke
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« Reply #7 on: April 21, 2011, 02:34:16 PM »

In my experience, the "good ones" are short lived. Trust is a HUGE issue with BPDs and the people that they can't control are harder to trust. Ergo, their relationships decay quickly with people we would consider "good."

well her best friend from college came and visited and my ex had an episode and disappeared into the shower for a bit.  This gave me chance to talk to the friend.  Man did she fill me in, aobut how much she cheated on the victim before me, and how bad and controlling she would be.  Should of listened more carefully to the friend.  And yes its funny how the good ones come nad go, but it seemed they got painted black too.  Man all the answers where always infront of us.
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WalrusGumboot
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« Reply #8 on: April 21, 2011, 02:42:29 PM »

I have found that the friends that my stbxw had fell into two categories... other PD's or caretakers. I can tell right off which is which because the PD's will cling to each other and be best friends almost right away. The long term friendships she had with a few women were those with traits like mine, the caretaker types.
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xxostedd
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« Reply #9 on: April 21, 2011, 02:45:42 PM »

No friends, just playthings.
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