Ok
I called my uBPDw to make a plan and she said she wasn't sure.
I called near the time of the plan and no answer. This is very typical. So I spend some time with my daughter. Two hours later my w called and is very pert. I didn't come home to see if she wanted to do something. It didn't matter that I called and got no answer or that she didn't try to call me. Nope, it's all my fault.
That's a typical exchange for me. So I ask others if I'm nuts and they all see my logic and rejection. Quietly I walk and tell myself that it's her illness. That feels like shooting a water gun at a water buffalo. Maybe one time I'll get it right in the eye. I keep standing my ground.
Sounds like a typical exchange to me. It is a moving target, and no hope of being right. But its not about being right. Its about can she project onto you so she doesn't have to face her own fears and struggles. I suggest you keep repeating [to yourself] " its nothing personal, Its not me, I am the positive here" A little positive reinforcement for us.