All over the place

[Think About It...]

I have to admit, I've been all over the place on this board since I've joined. Been rude, happy, angry, sad, you name it. I'm just screwed up

The situation is that I'm caught in a bad recycling game with my uBPDgf. I try to get some distance, she grabs me back in. I break it off, she panics and I jump back into it. Things are ok, then DRAMA!

One of the things I think is happening is a Push-Pull game. She clings, and then she uses DRAMA to push me away because she KNOWS unconsciously that I'll get burned out and exhausted and back off. Then she panics and I jump back in and the same thing happens again. I'm really getting sick of it.

I'm just freakin' screwed up man. I don't know what to do.

[jhan6120]

I have to admit, I've been all over the place on this board since I've joined. Been rude, happy, angry, sad, you name it. I'm just screwed up

The situation is that I'm caught in a bad recycling game with my uBPDgf. I try to get some distance, she grabs me back in. I break it off, she panics and I jump back into it. Things are ok, then DRAMA!

One of the things I think is happening is a Push-Pull game. She clings, and then she uses DRAMA to push me away because she KNOWS unconsciously that I'll get burned out and exhausted and back off. Then she panics and I jump back in and the same thing happens again. I'm really getting sick of it.

I'm just freakin' screwed up man. I don't know what to do.

[be44710]

My best advice is to read, learn & take care of yourself. Difficult when you're in the middle of the drama...

I have a good friend who helps to keep me grounded. She has learned about BPD with me & can look at things without emotion when I can't. She's been a godsend.

Keep your chin up & take care.

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? This board is for analyzing and making the decision to either continue working on your relationship or to leave it. If you have already please advance to "L3 Leaving" or the "L4 Staying" board. All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)

[eeyore]

I recently took a week off and stayed at my parents house.  It was very helpful to me getting some much needed r&r.  The took great care of me even though my BF still created drama in my head.  But it was so much better than being at home with the BF who would have driven me crazy.  Is it possible for you to relax a bit and not have to have the relationship drama be at the forefront of your thoughts?

[jhan6120]

I recently took a week off and stayed at my parents house.  It was very helpful to me getting some much needed r&r.  The took great care of me even though my BF still created drama in my head.  But it was so much better than being at home with the BF who would have driven me crazy.  Is it possible for you to relax a bit and not have to have the relationship drama be at the forefront of your thoughts?

I've called a hiatus with her with NC for a while. She's supposedly going to therapy twice a week now and wants to go to some 5 day program at a place called Onsite to deal with 'codependence.'(Which, IMO, is WAAAY off the mark, and gives me no confidence that she's able or willing to look at the real picture).

I had to step back, because I’m at a place in my life right now where I need emotional stability. My mom is getting ready for MAJOR pancreatic surgery, and my dad is no longer here to take care of her. That means it’s my turn to step up to the plate. All my udBPDgf is doing is bringing chaos into my life.