welcome to the family!
Yes the very beginning is the absolute worst. I was totally numb to every thing. I remember feeling like and empty shell with a dead soul inside. This is really hard to get through.
MJJ is right, don't stay idle, get with friends. Don't bog them down with it all. It's healthy to talk about it, let them know your situation, then let it go. I was terrible at this, and people became even more distant, causing even more depression. The best thing to do is when you feel like a balloon full of BPD air about to pop, come on here and post it out. It is the best therapy. You will find really good advice, and compassionate people that will help dust you off.
I did get a therapist and highly recommend it, however finding this board was a god send and help ease the pain more. Therapy, for me, has been a journey to fix some things about me I've carried with me my whole life. (two different purposes...)
Read the articles especially this one.http://www.BPDfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a109.htm
That article helped TREMENDOUSLY to understand why I felt the way I did, and reassured me I'm not the only person in this.
I'm sorry you are feeling the pain you are, but we have all been there. Welcome to the new start of the new you.