I had a great day.. I am recovering nicely from the Hornet attack and doggies are fine as well.
I had a lovely dinner with H and we chatted away, sharing feelings from the past and optimism for our future here.
He's really been more alive since we started in on this journey for the move. He has put his heart into the house, preparing it for us, getting the carpet ready to be put in, helping me with the yard, today he set up the frig water purifier and ice maker.
It's been so refreshing to see him look so content in his skin.
Speaking of which, I too have been more at ease in many ways as well.
I have slept soo well in our bed together ever since we moved.
Before I didn't feel like I could really get comfortable and stay in bed. I'd at times retreat to the couch just to feel I could sleep.
but not once have I had any of those feelings. I feel very good when I hit those sheets and haven't felt annoyed or bothered by his breathing or anything.. its like the hyper sensitivity has subsided.. pretty cool huh?
I did have a great session with my T today as was able to share many ways that we have been progressing in connecting and also the nit picking that he still is struggling with at times.
She was very insightful and reminded me that when he was growing up, this is the only way he connected with his family.. was by, for one, his dad criticising him and belittling him and thats what he falls back on in his mind.
SO when he complains about something, it may be a way that he is trying to connect with me but doesn't know how to approach it appropriately.. (obviously)..
but I thought that was a good point.
She asked me how it made me feel when he starts to say this or that about what i'm doing and I said it made me feel irritated and a bit tense.
She reminds me to keep trying to focus on how I respond to it.
She asked me a good question about why I don't try and reclaim my boundary at that point of him saying whatever and I had to remind her that, In that period, he is dysregulated and that isn't the best time to talk about things. Actually there isn't any real logic that can be had.
So I use my body language to let him see I am unhappy with his behavior and allow him to approach me which usually happens rather quickly these days and he says he's sorry and is working on it.
She did understand that since he's emotionally fueled and thought that made sense.
So overall, it was a very good meeting with her. I left feeling very confident and proud of the progress we are making.
Tonight was a good night. I could clean the yard, trim tree's and not hear one peep of anything.. then I sat in my round chair and looked at the sea of stars and one shot across the sky... lovely.
Have a great weekend all.. Love 1bg