How she ruined Xmas...

[Think About It...]

First she (or someone she knew) emptied my bank account 4 days before xmas so I was dead broke and had no access to ANY funds, and still don't.
I was working with the police to set her up to get arrested on xmas day when she was supposed to meet us to give him some gifts.

Well starting the day before xmas she started texting little things that suggested things were about to go off the rails.

By early evening on xmas eve she was texting both of us long dramatic messages about having a migraine and needing to go to the ER. As we drove home "her BF" (using her phone supposedly) started texting me saying he was worried because she was in so much pain and vomiting and all this other drivel and asking me what should he do. I have no idea if it was actually a man or just her pulling some crazy manipulation but it continued over 5-6 texts and began insulting ME because I was being "so insensitive" and demanding I "show some respect and at least respond". So I just finally replied something like "I don't know dude, take her to the ER or give her some Excedrine for god's sake, I am DRIVING".

First thing Xmas morning she/he starts texting again about how they were in the ER all night and she was sleeping so he would stay in touch and figure out when THEY would be able to meet us to give my son some gifts.
Then SHE called him mid afternoon and was blubbering about how bad she felt and then started going into her financial troubles and how she was behind in school and all manner of dramatic "poor me" bull$hit that a kid should not have to listen to from his mother.

By the end of this my son was depressed and didn't want to participate in any family gathering and refused to get out of bed to go anywhere.

Early evening she (again as the role of her caring BF, or possibly ACTUALLY some poor sap she has conned again) started texting me again, saying she was sick again and he was taking her back to the ER, on xmas DAY for her "migraine". I basically blew it off and didn't respond but he/she texted my son telling him about how his mother loves him but she is sick and going to the ER and they will update him as soon as they know anything.

No one heard anything again after about 8PM xmas day.

4PM Monday "He" texted me asking if I had gotten all the recent texts from the night before about how bad off she was etc. I responded saying yes I had but I didn't want to hear anymore drama and neither did my son, the only thing "they needed" to tell my son,, and NOT ME, was when they would be able to drop off his gifts, if at all.

This person again launched into some tyrade (via text) about how I was being an insensitive ass and she had been in the ER all night again and they had found "a mass on her brain and spent all night trying to drain it". 

I lost it, I seriously snapped, I responded that I do not need to know what bullsht made up crap she/he had to say, to quit calling and texting and to basically go die in a fire.
He proceeded to bombard my phone with messages about what a bad person I was and how she was sick and I should show some sympathy for the mother of my child etc etc.

So on the off chance that it really was some dumb dude caught in the middle I replied "Well how much sympathy did she have when she was forging my checks and stealing my bank card leaving my account drained the week before xmas, or when she defrauded welfare and I had to prove she was lying and never had my son?"...

what ensued was a avalanche of unproductive, barely coherent texts that appeared to be either a mad man who was not trapped in the middle and being told about CRIMES his "sick" woman did, or HER suddenly confronted with things she had most likely assumed I didn't know about.  I finally deleted all the texts and sent one last text telling her to NEVER contact me, text me, or anything and if I ever see her in person again I will call the police on her.


All I can assume from all of this is that she had dis-regulated due to the holidays and was feeling bad because my son and I were going to go have a nice weekend with all of our families that she is explicitly excluded from, so she selfishly had to create some dramatic scene to try to garner sympathy and make it somehow about HER. All it resulted in is making her son talk about how much he hates her and wishes she would just go die so he never has to hear from her again and can just go on with his life.

Thanks for reading, I am not looking for sympathy, but maybe just venting a little.
Maybe seeing what others that have had to deal with this kind of crazy would think of this situation.

[MuGGzy]

First she (or someone she knew) emptied my bank account 4 days before xmas so I was dead broke and had no access to ANY funds, and still don't.
I was working with the police to set her up to get arrested on xmas day when she was supposed to meet us to give him some gifts.

Well starting the day before xmas she started texting little things that suggested things were about to go off the rails.

By early evening on xmas eve she was texting both of us long dramatic messages about having a migraine and needing to go to the ER. As we drove home "her BF" (using her phone supposedly) started texting me saying he was worried because she was in so much pain and vomiting and all this other drivel and asking me what should he do. I have no idea if it was actually a man or just her pulling some crazy manipulation but it continued over 5-6 texts and began insulting ME because I was being "so insensitive" and demanding I "show some respect and at least respond". So I just finally replied something like "I don't know dude, take her to the ER or give her some Excedrine for god's sake, I am DRIVING".

First thing Xmas morning she/he starts texting again about how they were in the ER all night and she was sleeping so he would stay in touch and figure out when THEY would be able to meet us to give my son some gifts.
Then SHE called him mid afternoon and was blubbering about how bad she felt and then started going into her financial troubles and how she was behind in school and all manner of dramatic "poor me" bull$hit that a kid should not have to listen to from his mother.

By the end of this my son was depressed and didn't want to participate in any family gathering and refused to get out of bed to go anywhere.

Early evening she (again as the role of her caring BF, or possibly ACTUALLY some poor sap she has conned again) started texting me again, saying she was sick again and he was taking her back to the ER, on xmas DAY for her "migraine". I basically blew it off and didn't respond but he/she texted my son telling him about how his mother loves him but she is sick and going to the ER and they will update him as soon as they know anything.

No one heard anything again after about 8PM xmas day.

4PM Monday "He" texted me asking if I had gotten all the recent texts from the night before about how bad off she was etc. I responded saying yes I had but I didn't want to hear anymore drama and neither did my son, the only thing "they needed" to tell my son,, and NOT ME, was when they would be able to drop off his gifts, if at all.

This person again launched into some tyrade (via text) about how I was being an insensitive ass and she had been in the ER all night again and they had found "a mass on her brain and spent all night trying to drain it". 

I lost it, I seriously snapped, I responded that I do not need to know what bullsht made up crap she/he had to say, to quit calling and texting and to basically go die in a fire.
He proceeded to bombard my phone with messages about what a bad person I was and how she was sick and I should show some sympathy for the mother of my child etc etc.

So on the off chance that it really was some dumb dude caught in the middle I replied "Well how much sympathy did she have when she was forging my checks and stealing my bank card leaving my account drained the week before xmas, or when she defrauded welfare and I had to prove she was lying and never had my son?"...

what ensued was a avalanche of unproductive, barely coherent texts that appeared to be either a mad man who was not trapped in the middle and being told about CRIMES his "sick" woman did, or HER suddenly confronted with things she had most likely assumed I didn't know about.  I finally deleted all the texts and sent one last text telling her to NEVER contact me, text me, or anything and if I ever see her in person again I will call the police on her.


All I can assume from all of this is that she had dis-regulated due to the holidays and was feeling bad because my son and I were going to go have a nice weekend with all of our families that she is explicitly excluded from, so she selfishly had to create some dramatic scene to try to garner sympathy and make it somehow about HER. All it resulted in is making her son talk about how much he hates her and wishes she would just go die so he never has to hear from her again and can just go on with his life.

Thanks for reading, I am not looking for sympathy, but maybe just venting a little.
Maybe seeing what others that have had to deal with this kind of crazy would think of this situation.

[bookworm11]

Your X sounds frighteningly similar my stbx uBPD SIL. She is the queen of texting and emailing incoherent aggro drivel--it seems to be her primary occupation or hobby as she does it pretty much daily--but hers are generally heavily peppered with accusations about my B being a neglectful lousy father and how she is going to tell their sons how awful he is, etc...Usually this is based on something trivial like youngest son (1 and a half yo) being in unmatched PJ top and bottom when B returns them to her custody. Apparently this is proof that he is a neglectful father. Kid was clean and bathed, but suffering the horrible indignity of mismatched PJs. B gets hammered with these kinds of texts and emails every single day of his life.

On XMas eve/ day, B and I were out doing a little last minute shopping and I said "You know she's gonna pull some BS, right? There's no way she is going to let Xmas pass without stirring some sht up." and two minutes passed, his phone rang and it was her threatening to not bring their sons to custodial exchange later that day if her ex-friend was going to be at B's house on XMas eve.

I look forward to updates regarding your X's arrest, but I will say that when B had SIL arrested for DV it set her off in a way that has basically kept her dysregulated for the 6 months since. She used the arrest to fabricate an elaborate story of B's abuse, claiming that he set her up and he's the one who was violent--and it has worked. B has lost many many friends b/c of her BS--people cannot wrap their heads around how a woman can be the abuser--they just assume that her tears are real, that her victim story is real. So prepare for major backlash if you do have her arrested. It's the right thing to do, but look out once she is released.

Is she diagnosed or not?

[MuGGzy]

Not diagnosed and she already has at LEAST 2 warrants for her arrest outstanding for forging my old checks as well as other people's so I assume that when she gets picked up she will be sitting in jail for a while.

What concerns me a little more is the fact that she may have this other man twisted up in this mess. I don't know much about him but he is at best a little dim whited, and at worst he is a criminal with poor morals just like her and if she has gotten him convinced that she is some poor "victim" and I have "snitched" on her and "set her up" I do not want to deal with some mouth breather showing up trying to "settle the score for his woman" or something similarly white trash.

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[JustSaying]

Even negative engagement is engagement. To many disordered people that beats no contact. When my D is with me, I have zero reasons to accept or read texts from X, let alone respond. If keeps D and me from ruined days.

Not reading the texts, not answering the phone, limiting contact to just email, and never responding when aggravated, even to say 'don't contact me' will probably keep you happier and less distracted during the time you get to spend with your son. And I specifically wouldn't mention forgeries, etc. Play that close to the vest till the police sting her. There's never an advantage to letting the 'other side' know your vulnerable areas, as the unproductive stuff that followed that confirmed. It can't help you and now they know they can trigger you.

[lmdixon]

As I read this I thought "my gosh, this is my daughter" except I have her guardianship of her son.  She is exactly like this and the drama she presents every holiday or vacation is exactly the same. 

I have started to turn down the volume on my phone and don't answer if its her.  She has called repeatedly, hanging up and dialing back right away. 

I am so sorry this has happened to you and your son.  I know how hard it is and you have every right to vent.  We all do.  It's ugly being part of this and the lies are a huge and constant.

I wish you well!

[muddychicken]

I am not a doctor but I have to say that I have never heard of someone having a mass drained from their brain in the ER only to be sent home afterwards...what a mindf**k!

[MuGGzy]

I am not a doctor but I have to say that I have never heard of someone having a mass drained from their brain in the ER only to be sent home afterwards...what a mindf**k!

LOL oh I know it was total BS, I assume she either had better options, didn't have a car, pawned his gifts, or some other white trash situation and it was better for HER to have a medical "crisis" so her lack of follow-through was excused, with a bonus of sympathy for HER of course.
If I accept her story, she was at the ER, all night, 3 nights in a row for a "migraine" and they discovered a "mass" in her skull, which, for the first time in the HISTORY of modern medicine, they diagnosed without a CT/MRI scan, and performed neurosurgery in an ER without the aid of drilling holes through the skull. then sent her home in the morning...

Then again this is a woman that has had "Cancer" 2-3 times, most recently "in her vag" (after a full hysterectomy), went through "Kemo" (sic) 2-3 times, and never lost a pound/inch or any hair... not that it stopped her from communicating all these medical hardships in grim detail to her son, and using them as excuses to not be able to see him... 

[muddychicken]

I am not a doctor but I have to say that I have never heard of someone having a mass drained from their brain in the ER only to be sent home afterwards...what a mindf**k!

LOL oh I know it was total BS, I assume she either had better options, didn't have a car, pawned his gifts, or some other white trash situation and it was better for HER to have a medical "crisis" so her lack of follow-through was excused, with a bonus of sympathy for HER of course.
If I accept her story, she was at the ER, all night, 3 nights in a row for a "migraine" and they discovered a "mass" in her skull, which, for the first time in the HISTORY of modern medicine, they diagnosed without a CT/MRI scan, and performed neurosurgery in an ER without the aid of drilling holes through the skull. then sent her home in the morning...

Then again this is a woman that has had "Cancer" 2-3 times, most recently "in her vag" (after a full hysterectomy), went through "Kemo" (sic) 2-3 times, and never lost a pound/inch or any hair... not that it stopped her from communicating all these medical hardships in grim detail to her son, and using them as excuses to not be able to see him... 

She sounds like a true marvel of medical science...on the cutting edge I dare say!