I'm tempted by the idea of dating but I'm also not sure what my motivation is...
Attempting to erase crappy history by beginning anew?
Proving to myself that it wasn't me that was damaged in my BPD rs?
Wanting to spend time with someone who will genuinely appreciate me?
Potentially finding out what a real, proper, loving relationship feels like? (appreciate this is jumping ahead a little)
Anyone else out there in this place? Thoughts?
I think these are great questions to ask yourself. Do you know what you want in a r/s, are you very sure of your values and boundaries? Would you recognise the
? Do you know how much you can emotional finance in a r/s? How many
and what type are you willing to work through before knowing when to pull the plug on the r/s?
Being a recovering co-dependent myself - my biggest obstacle is knowing that I cannot fix someone else only me! So if I come across a man with somered-flag that are not negotiable, I am ok with being on my own - and wave goodbye.
IMHO to have a healthy r/s means that both partners need to be mindful not just one.The Characteristics of Healthy Relationships The Five Stages of Non-BPD Recovery