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Author Topic: Has anyone experienced something like "herding"?  (Read 936 times)
galunlati
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« on: January 08, 2012, 07:06:27 AM »

Strangest feeling, looking back, somewhat creepy, as my BPD girlfriend would do what I can only describe as "herding" like a sheep dog watching a herd of sheep, with her being the sheep dog and me being the herd. She would watch my every move and position herself to be in my view, often invading personal space when I was doing something totally innocent like reading the paper. If I would turn slightly, say to look out the window, she would move as well so as to remain in my line of sight. If I would wake in the middle of the night, she would also wake and immediately ask what I was doing. This type of behavior could continue for days, no matter what I was doing, she would position herself to be in view, often as if blocking me or physically and mentally "boxing me in".
Has anyone else experienced this type of behavior? Is this normal (coming from BPD)?
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ShadesofGray
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« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2012, 12:32:40 PM »

Strangest feeling, looking back, somewhat creepy, as my BPD girlfriend would do what I can only describe as "herding" like a sheep dog watching a herd of sheep, with her being the sheep dog and me being the herd. She would watch my every move and position herself to be in my view, often invading personal space when I was doing something totally innocent like reading the paper. If I would turn slightly, say to look out the window, she would move as well so as to remain in my line of sight. If I would wake in the middle of the night, she would also wake and immediately ask what I was doing. This type of behavior could continue for days, no matter what I was doing, she would position herself to be in view, often as if blocking me or physically and mentally "boxing me in".
Has anyone else experienced this type of behavior? Is this normal (coming from BPD)?

Wow that is so interesting. I'm just taking a guess, here, that she was trying very hard to be close to you, because BPD's have such a strong fear of abandonment. She's hypersensitive to your every movement so as not to lose you which would be incredibly painful.
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“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Buddhist Proverb
blackandwhite
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« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2012, 02:45:13 PM »

Sounds like attachment behaviors. Babies and toddlers do the same, checking in on where a parent is. If so, it was to ease her discomfort and increase her sense of security.

B&W
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« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2012, 04:35:05 PM »

I do experience this from my husband but only in moments of rage.
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