Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
February 28, 2015, 07:52:57 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Today's Feature: Am I empathetic? read more
Administrators: DreamGirl, Mutt, Rapt Reader,
Moderators: EaglesJuJu, Kwamina, livednlearned, Rise, Turkish, Waverider   
Advisors: clljhns, formflier, maxen, NorthernGirl, Ripped Heart, Ziggiddy
  Directory Guidelines Glossary   Boards   Help Please Donate Login Register  
bing
Think About It... Defending our boundaries is more than a response in times of conflict - it's a lifestyle. Learn how to get in touch with your values, define and communicate boundaries of those values, and defend against boundary busters. ~ Skip
105
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: I really really am struggling today  (Read 407 times)
Cardinals in Flight
formerly NurseRatchet
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 642



« on: February 09, 2012, 01:39:28 PM »

I'm really struggling today, I need to contact my XBPDg/f, yes need, so I know it's part of the 'addiction' thing.  I miss her terribly, my life is falling apart, as if it wasn't bad enough that she dumped me just last week.
Nothing is right in my world, my chest aches, sometimes I can hardly breathe.
I'm staying strong, but it surely does blow chunks, and I despise myself for being so damn needy right now, I also recognize this behavior in myself was a trigger for her.  She loved it in the beginning and was my hero, I pushed her away  and hurt her with my neediness. cry cry
Logged
nona
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 381



« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2012, 02:34:35 PM »

 

 Empathy

Be kind to yourself
I felt all those things, still do sometimes.

I decided it is just plain heartbreak and withdrawl.

Going back to the source will not help

I had a sign on my phone and computer that read : "dont pet the burning dog" to keep me from calling.

This was a rough week and weekend for me too!

Turn that love on yourself,

talk to us.

 
Logged
emmjay


Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 34


Unconditional Love- Personal Boundaries


« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2012, 02:52:26 PM »

I too am having a really really hard day... tears right about to break... painful painful thing... let's hang in there together... don't give yourself over to it.. you are worth WAY more than more abuse...!
Logged

EmmJay
eeyore
*******
Offline Offline

Posts: 5936



« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2012, 03:14:38 PM »

it's a full moon for sure.  NR... you can do it.  Keep posting here if you have to.  What are you doing to pass the time?  For me it's been a full day.  Appointment at 7:30, Then A/C yearly service at 10:00, then to the carpet place to get new carpet, then look at a trailer for my jet ski, and got to work.  Been working away and taking some time to chit chat.  I solved a problem that I was struggling with yesterday but started back fresh today and got it done.  All that has helped me keep my mind of problems.  I am dealing with my personal problems just not during the day.  Compartmentalizing. 
:-)
Logged


GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?
This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving
All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)
Cardinals in Flight
formerly NurseRatchet
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 642



« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2012, 09:30:31 PM »

I had an excellent appointment with my T this evening, she is VERY adept at treating BPD.
I came home and contacted XBPDgf and I'm very happy that I did, if she got a power trip out of it, so be it, I FEEL BETTER, and right now that's all that matters.  We talked calmly for over an hour, she loves me the best way she can, but doesn't want to be in a r/s, I respect that and it's better than thinking she hated me.  WE both apologized for nasty happenings last weekend, and she wants me in her life, but I told her I needed to breathe apart from her for a while before we revisit seeing one  another in whatever capacity we feel comfortable in.
I have a feeling the more I back up, go out etc, the better we will be able to relate to one another, and if she goes dark again? I can deal with it, because she is no longer my SO.  I am free to go and do as I please.

I appreciate all of the feedback I've received, it's helped me tremendously during the past 8 weeks.
Logged
eeyore
*******
Offline Offline

Posts: 5936



« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2012, 09:58:27 PM »

I had an excellent appointment with my T this evening, she is VERY adept at treating BPD.
I came home and contacted XBPDgf and I'm very happy that I did, if she got a power trip out of it, so be it, I FEEL BETTER, and right now that's all that matters.  We talked calmly for over an hour, she loves me the best way she can, but doesn't want to be in a r/s, I respect that and it's better than thinking she hated me.  WE both apologized for nasty happenings last weekend, and she wants me in her life, but I told her I needed to breathe apart from her for a while before we revisit seeing one  another in whatever capacity we feel comfortable in.
I have a feeling the more I back up, go out etc, the better we will be able to relate to one another, and if she goes dark again? I can deal with it, because she is no longer my SO.  I am free to go and do as I please.

I appreciate all of the feedback I've received, it's helped me tremendously during the past 8 weeks.

my .02 is as you have moved on and are doing your own things you will flourish and you won't so much care about your relationship with her.  You'll still wish her well but your emotions won't be all twisted up like they are post breakup. 
Logged


2015 Community Sponsors
Keeping BPDFamily on the air
We are all appreciative of the thoughtful men and women who provide the support, education, and brotherhood that keep BPDFamily on the air and make a difference in our lives. To all, thank you for this wonderful resource.

123Phoebe
1989
aeoma
Alex86
All4BVM
antifragile
Aurora7
Aussie JJ
Aussieman
beatup
Being Mindful
BlackandBlue
blissful_camper
bluetooth
bobbyvp
Bookworm77
Boss302
bpdfamfan
captain4464
Carebearx2m
careman
Caresaboutsomeonelikethis
Cat Familiar
catclaw
catnap
caughtnreleased
cehlers55
chooselove
Chosen
chump
claudiaduffy
cleotokos
clydegriffith
Cmjo
ColdEthyl
Conundrum
corraline
coworkerfriend
Cumulus
dar
Dark star
Dire Wolf
doubleAries
draptemp
Dutched
Emelie Emelie
emoinferno
enlighten me
F150
findingmyselfagain
flowerpath
foggydew
ForeverDad
forget-me-not
Free2Bee
freedom33
FreeMeGal
fromheeltoheal
Gagrl
GeekyGirl
gettin-unstuck
goldylamont
Grey Kitty
HappyChappy
HappyNihilist
Harri
HealingSpirit
Heartandsole
heartandwhole
Heshie
hithere
Hope26
hope2727
howcanI?
imataloss
In Pain
Inside
Intent_to_learn
jellibeans
jjclark
Johnjm
joolz29
jthorpejr
JulesC
kaer
kappa
KarenDH
kc sunshine
Keep
KeepOnGoing
kiddfei
kidsteele
kj1234
KQuestionsItAll
Kwamina
landofoz
Leelou
lemon flower
lever
Linda Maria
lipstick
Lmls
Loveofhislife
Lucky One
maid
MammaMia
maric
maxen
mdg2101
Memorial Donation
Memorial Donation
Memorial Donation
Memorial Donation
Memorial Donation
Memorial Donation
Memorial Donation
Memorial Donation
mggt
michel71
Mike76
Mommy108
Mr Hollande
Narellan
NeedHelpPls
NewWays
Nope
NorthernGirl
oblivian2013
outside9x
overcomer
P.F.Change
pallavirajsinghani
Panda39
patientandclear
Patty
picturelady
Pingo
PinkieV
Pou
preciousme
Progress Not Perfection
propunchingbag
qcarolr
qkslvrgirl
Rapt Reader
raytamtay3
Recooperating
Reforming
ReluctantSurvivor
Rifka
rj47
rollercoaster24
Ross O
sanemom
Scarlet Phoenix
schwing
SCM
seahorse
SES
Should I stay or...
sirius
SistersKeeper
Skip
Soulslider
stargazer3
StayOrLeave15
stupafly
Surnia
swampped
sweetheart
swiftkick
Take2
Theo41
thereishope
Tiepje3
TigerEye
ToLiveAgain
toomanytears
trappedinlove
Turkish
tuum est61
twojaybirds
ugghh
Up In the Air
Vindi
vre
waverider
Whichwayisup
whirlpoollife
White_Lily
winston72
Witchway
yeeter
zenwexler
Pay it forward Here

If you made a donation and your name does not appear on this list here , please contact us so that we may confirm that the payment was properly credited to BPDFamily.

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Top Spacer
index.php?topic=136462.msg1331265#msg1331265
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.10 | SMF © 2006-2015, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!