Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
August 31, 2016, 01:13:33 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Moderators: lbjnltx, livednlearned, once removed, Turkish
Member support team: fromheeltoheal, Meili , VitaminC, Woolspinner2000
  Directory Guidelines Glossary   Boards   Help Please Donate Login Register  
.
BOOK: Stop Caretaking the Borderline One of the main ways we keep ourselves involved in addictive, negative and hurtful relationships is to pretend that this negative present moment isn’t happening. In this book, Margalis Fjelstad, PhD., shows that the only way out of an addictive relationship is to change how we function, what we are willing to put up with, and to develop the courage to make changes.
236
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: I really really am struggling today  (Read 549 times)
Cardinals in Flight
formerly NurseRatchet
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 652



« on: February 09, 2012, 01:39:28 PM »

I'm really struggling today, I need to contact my XBPDg/f, yes need, so I know it's part of the 'addiction' thing.  I miss her terribly, my life is falling apart, as if it wasn't bad enough that she dumped me just last week.

Nothing is right in my world, my chest aches, sometimes I can hardly breathe.

I'm staying strong, but it surely does blow chunks, and I despise myself for being so damn needy right now, I also recognize this behavior in myself was a trigger for her.  She loved it in the beginning and was my hero, I pushed her away  and hurt her with my neediness. cry cry
Logged
nona
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 415



« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2012, 02:34:35 PM »

 

 

Be kind to yourself

I felt all those things, still do sometimes.

I decided it is just plain heartbreak and withdrawl.

Going back to the source will not help

I had a sign on my phone and computer that read : "dont pet the burning dog" to keep me from calling.

This was a rough week and weekend for me too!

Turn that love on yourself,

talk to us.

Logged
emmjay


Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 34


Unconditional Love- Personal Boundaries


« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2012, 02:52:26 PM »

I too am having a really really hard day... tears right about to break... painful painful thing... let's hang in there together... don't give yourself over to it.. you are worth WAY more than more abuse...!
Logged

EmmJay
ARE YOU ON THE RIGHT BOARD?
All members still incontact with their partner should learn to use the basic relationship tools to better manage the day to day interactions.
If you are evaluating a decision to stay or leave, please post on Conflicted and Deciding
eeyore
*******
Offline Offline

Posts: 5936



« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2012, 03:14:38 PM »

it's a full moon for sure.  NR... you can do it.  Keep posting here if you have to.  What are you doing to pass the time?  For me it's been a full day.  Appointment at 7:30, Then A/C yearly service at 10:00, then to the carpet place to get new carpet, then look at a trailer for my jet ski, and got to work.  Been working away and taking some time to chit chat.  I solved a problem that I was struggling with yesterday but started back fresh today and got it done.  All that has helped me keep my mind of problems.  I am dealing with my personal problems just not during the day.  Compartmentalizing. 

:-)
Logged


Cardinals in Flight
formerly NurseRatchet
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 652



« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2012, 09:30:31 PM »

I had an excellent appointment with my T this evening, she is VERY adept at treating BPD.

I came home and contacted XBPDgf and I'm very happy that I did, if she got a power trip out of it, so be it, I FEEL BETTER, and right now that's all that matters.  We talked calmly for over an hour, she loves me the best way she can, but doesn't want to be in a r/s, I respect that and it's better than thinking she hated me.  WE both apologized for nasty happenings last weekend, and she wants me in her life, but I told her I needed to breathe apart from her for a while before we revisit seeing one  another in whatever capacity we feel comfortable in.

I have a feeling the more I back up, go out etc, the better we will be able to relate to one another, and if she goes dark again? I can deal with it, because she is no longer my SO.  I am free to go and do as I please.

I appreciate all of the feedback I've received, it's helped me tremendously during the past 8 weeks.
Logged
eeyore
*******
Offline Offline

Posts: 5936



« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2012, 09:58:27 PM »

I had an excellent appointment with my T this evening, she is VERY adept at treating BPD.

I came home and contacted XBPDgf and I'm very happy that I did, if she got a power trip out of it, so be it, I FEEL BETTER, and right now that's all that matters.  We talked calmly for over an hour, she loves me the best way she can, but doesn't want to be in a r/s, I respect that and it's better than thinking she hated me.  WE both apologized for nasty happenings last weekend, and she wants me in her life, but I told her I needed to breathe apart from her for a while before we revisit seeing one  another in whatever capacity we feel comfortable in.

I have a feeling the more I back up, go out etc, the better we will be able to relate to one another, and if she goes dark again? I can deal with it, because she is no longer my SO.  I am free to go and do as I please.

I appreciate all of the feedback I've received, it's helped me tremendously during the past 8 weeks.

my .02 is as you have moved on and are doing your own things you will flourish and you won't so much care about your relationship with her.  You'll still wish her well but your emotions won't be all twisted up like they are post breakup. 
Logged


2017 Financial Sponsors
Thank you. We are all appreciative of the thoughtful and responsible men and women who provide the support, education, and brotherhood to keep BPDFamily on the air and make a difference in the lives and families of many. To all, thank you for this wonderful resource.
BStrong
Cat Familiar
Clearmind
Darsha500
Dizzy Princess
drained1996
FinallyItsTime
Fr4nz
isseeu
kim peter
lbjnltx
Learning Fast
Meili
narcdaughter2
nevaeh
ou81201370
Qcarolr
rfriesen
Sadly
Scarlet Phoenix
SES
SilentObserver
Skip
steelwork
stimpy
swampped
Turkish
WhatShouldIDo
william3693




Pay it forward Here
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Top Spacer
index.php?topic=136462.msg1331265#msg1331265
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2016, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!