July 30, 2014, 10:09:49 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Moderators: DreamGirl, LettingGo14, P.F.Change, Rapt Reader
Advisors: an0ught, livednlearned, Mutt, pessim-optimist, Turkish, Waverider
Ambassadors: BacknthSaddle, corraline, cosmonaut, DreamFlyer99, formflier, free'n'clear, HealingSpirit, Kwamina, lever, Love is Not Enough, maxen, maxsterling, NorthernGirl, OutofEgypt, woodsposse, ziggiddy
  Directory Guidelines Glossary   Boards   Help Login Register  
bing
Think About It... Whether we bounce back from a breakup or wallow in unhappiness depends on our general self-regard. In a University of California, Santa Barbara study where participants people with low self-esteem took rejection the worst: They were most likely to blame themselves for what had happened and to rail against the rejecter. ~ Skip
103
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: I really really am struggling today  (Read 361 times)
Cardinals in Flight
formerly NurseRatchet
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 637



« on: February 09, 2012, 01:39:28 PM »

I'm really struggling today, I need to contact my XBPDg/f, yes need, so I know it's part of the 'addiction' thing.  I miss her terribly, my life is falling apart, as if it wasn't bad enough that she dumped me just last week.
Nothing is right in my world, my chest aches, sometimes I can hardly breathe.
I'm staying strong, but it surely does blow chunks, and I despise myself for being so damn needy right now, I also recognize this behavior in myself was a trigger for her.  She loved it in the beginning and was my hero, I pushed her away  and hurt her with my neediness. cry cry
Logged
nona
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 360



« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2012, 02:34:35 PM »

 

 Empathy

Be kind to yourself
I felt all those things, still do sometimes.

I decided it is just plain heartbreak and withdrawl.

Going back to the source will not help

I had a sign on my phone and computer that read : "dont pet the burning dog" to keep me from calling.

This was a rough week and weekend for me too!

Turn that love on yourself,

talk to us.

 
Logged
emmjay

Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 34


Unconditional Love- Personal Boundaries


« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2012, 02:52:26 PM »

I too am having a really really hard day... tears right about to break... painful painful thing... let's hang in there together... don't give yourself over to it.. you are worth WAY more than more abuse...!
Logged

EmmJay
eeyore
*******
Offline Offline

Posts: 5937



« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2012, 03:14:38 PM »

it's a full moon for sure.  NR... you can do it.  Keep posting here if you have to.  What are you doing to pass the time?  For me it's been a full day.  Appointment at 7:30, Then A/C yearly service at 10:00, then to the carpet place to get new carpet, then look at a trailer for my jet ski, and got to work.  Been working away and taking some time to chit chat.  I solved a problem that I was struggling with yesterday but started back fresh today and got it done.  All that has helped me keep my mind of problems.  I am dealing with my personal problems just not during the day.  Compartmentalizing. 
:-)
Logged


GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?
This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving
All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)
Cardinals in Flight
formerly NurseRatchet
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 637



« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2012, 09:30:31 PM »

I had an excellent appointment with my T this evening, she is VERY adept at treating BPD.
I came home and contacted XBPDgf and I'm very happy that I did, if she got a power trip out of it, so be it, I FEEL BETTER, and right now that's all that matters.  We talked calmly for over an hour, she loves me the best way she can, but doesn't want to be in a r/s, I respect that and it's better than thinking she hated me.  WE both apologized for nasty happenings last weekend, and she wants me in her life, but I told her I needed to breathe apart from her for a while before we revisit seeing one  another in whatever capacity we feel comfortable in.
I have a feeling the more I back up, go out etc, the better we will be able to relate to one another, and if she goes dark again? I can deal with it, because she is no longer my SO.  I am free to go and do as I please.

I appreciate all of the feedback I've received, it's helped me tremendously during the past 8 weeks.
Logged
eeyore
*******
Offline Offline

Posts: 5937



« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2012, 09:58:27 PM »

I had an excellent appointment with my T this evening, she is VERY adept at treating BPD.
I came home and contacted XBPDgf and I'm very happy that I did, if she got a power trip out of it, so be it, I FEEL BETTER, and right now that's all that matters.  We talked calmly for over an hour, she loves me the best way she can, but doesn't want to be in a r/s, I respect that and it's better than thinking she hated me.  WE both apologized for nasty happenings last weekend, and she wants me in her life, but I told her I needed to breathe apart from her for a while before we revisit seeing one  another in whatever capacity we feel comfortable in.
I have a feeling the more I back up, go out etc, the better we will be able to relate to one another, and if she goes dark again? I can deal with it, because she is no longer my SO.  I am free to go and do as I please.

I appreciate all of the feedback I've received, it's helped me tremendously during the past 8 weeks.

my .02 is as you have moved on and are doing your own things you will flourish and you won't so much care about your relationship with her.  You'll still wish her well but your emotions won't be all twisted up like they are post breakup. 
Logged


Links and Information
Tools
Validation
Ending Cycle of Conflict
Triggering and Wisemind
Values and Boundaries
Becoming more empathetic?
On-Line CBT Program
>> More Tools

Video
What is BPD - Family
What is BPD - Romantic
What is BPD - Child
End the Cycle of Conflict
Validation Skills
Empathy Skills
Parental Alienation
Dialectal Dilemma (audio)


Book Reviews
Endorsed Books
Other Staff Reviews
Member Reviews
Articles - New
Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde
Diagnosis of BPD
Treatment of BPD
Series: My Child
Series: My Significant Other
Series: My Parent/Sibling
Series: My Failing Romance

Articles - Archive
Symptoms of BPD
A Clinical Perspective
Supporting a Loved One
Helping Him/Her Seek Treatment
Treatment of BPD
Leaving a Partner
Depression
Codependency
Sexual Addiction
Healthy Relationships

Content - Messageboard
Top 50 Questions
Top Workshops
About Us
The Mission
Professional Endorsements
2,000 Member Testimonials
Policy and Disclaimers
Blog


Messageboard
Directory
Guidelines
Appeal Moderation
Help-Technical
Manual

Donations
Become a Sponsor
Your Account

Other
Domestic Violence Crisis
Suicidal Ideation

EMERGENCY
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Top Spacer
index.php?topic=136462.msg1331265#msg1331265
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.10 | SMF © 2006-2010, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!