My wife is the very insensitive... in all facets of her life. We've been together 20 years and she's real comfortable with me... the things she says around me are just pretty mean. A guy who mentors our son had his mother die... my wife criticized him taking time off and stopping his mentoring services. She often lead into it with... "I know this is going to sound awful..." and it usually is pretty awful. She's known as a btch at work, cutting people to shreds and they hate coming to her for answers(or so I've been told)... and she's the only one they can go to. She is the queen at invalidation... "get over it, can't you just forget about it, etc."
You used a key word, confusion... get out of it and it starts to make sense. Understanding it for what it is helps, you emotions are very valid!
my significant other hurt my feelings pretty bad but I can't express my feelings because she thinks what she did was no big deal, and accuses me all the time of being insecure, jealous, and that I relate everything back to me.
with BPD I find myself questioning whether my emotions are valid or if it's just the confusion talking, the uneasiness. do I just let it go and chalk it up to her inability to recognize that people have feelings? her biggest complaint is that i'm too emotional because I'm insecure.