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BOOK: Journey of Abandonment Every day there are people who have lost a romantic relationship and feel as if life has lost its purpose. Susan Anderson, MSW, tells us that abandonment is about loss of love and that crucial loss of connectedness. This loss often involves breakup, betrayal, aloneness. This is an important book for members going through the end of a relationship.
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Author Topic: BPD or Just Sour Grapes?  (Read 759 times)
stonehead
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I still can't understand


« Reply #10 on: February 21, 2012, 03:17:40 PM »


I don't know I guess like a lot of us here I'm still in utter shock over what happened.. I'm just trying to understand how after loving so much and giving so much to someone getting so very little in return.  No matter how much I tried to avoid conflict, she was always able to get me enraged and make me look like the crazy one. 

Avoidatallcost, these people are crazy. How else can you explain away their crazy actions? These pwBPDs are extremely dangerous in that they appear normal in every other way. To the outside world, her ordinary friends and coworkers, she may appear very intelligent, sweet and considerate. It is only with those who are very close to her that she will show her real and ugly face.

I know my expwBPD for over 10 years, and had been close for the last 2 years (She visited me very week for a whole year), and I still didn't see anything unusual about her at all. It was only during last year when we got emotinally very close that her craziness started to appear. There is no other explanations for her crazy actions except for mental illnesses. It fact by the end of our r/s, she claimed that she was speaking for GOD.
« Last Edit: February 21, 2012, 03:23:17 PM by stonehead » Logged
avoidatallcost
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« Reply #11 on: February 21, 2012, 03:25:06 PM »

Stone, do you think she was afflicted by some kind of paranoid schizophrenia-like condition?
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stonehead
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I still can't understand


« Reply #12 on: February 21, 2012, 04:04:56 PM »

Stone, do you think she was afflicted by some kind of paranoid schizophrenia-like condition?

I am not sure, but I don't think so because from what I have read from all the materials online (and in prints), she fits the profile of a pwBPD exactly.

She has all 3 risk factors as well as 7 out of the 9 indicia for BPD. She has this craving for attachment. She also has this fear of abandonment and engulfment. Everyime when we get to be close, she will find something to push me away. The first time she clalimed that I was triggering her PTSD. She wouldn't speak to me for well over a week. The second time when I told her that I think she was using me. She broke off for about a month, and accused me with all kinds of abusive words and twisted every word I said to her. The 3rd time she just accused me of being insensitive to her feeling because I did exactly what she asked me to do, ie. to help her with her child's special education program with the school district. She then accused me of abandoning her, and cut me off. That was over 5 months ago. She had been very cruel to me ever since (I have written in my replies to other posts).
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stonehead
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I still can't understand


« Reply #13 on: February 21, 2012, 04:13:48 PM »

Avoidatallcost,

I think, had our r/s continued a little bit longer, she would have told me that she is GOD!
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GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?
This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving
All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)
avoidatallcost
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« Reply #14 on: February 21, 2012, 06:27:31 PM »

Avoidatallcost,

I think, had our r/s continued a little bit longer, she would have told me that she is GOD!

You know Stone, while I'm still on the fence about just how crazy my BP ex really was, I think it's safe to say yours is way out there!
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