while you may see his telling you to call for help or "leave your things so I know you're coming back" as encouraging behavior, from my perspective it looks like you have already accepted the fact that he will prevent you from leaving when you want to leave. Taking your phone away from you is also completely unacceptable - as he is taking a safety device and also using it as leverage to blackmail you into staying physically around.
Wednesday night he kept threatening to ruin my life, etc., which I know to be aware of so I started to call the police but he threatened to attack the officer who came to the door if I did.
Wait - WHAT?
This, is totally unacceptable behavior, morally, ethically and legally. Threatening to hurt another person to control your actions. This is the very definition of terrorism. It is a hostage taker threatening to harm another person if you do not comply with their demands.
You may not see it clearly because he is gaslighting you and you keep assuming that he has your best interest at heart, but he is effectively keeping you a prisoner - and you seem to have accepted being his prisoner in his house or yours, and all you are doing now is negotiating the rules for your prison with your guard. Stop listening to his words and start listening to his actions.
You may want to look up "stockholm syndrome" and "learned helplessness".
And yes, I can emphasize with the feeling of soreness from the sheer physical tension that our bodies go through feeling continuously on edge and preparing to be defending ourselves from an attacker who claims to "love" us.
You should read up on having an escape plan and setting boundaries.
May I suggest you call a domestic violence hotline (prob. best from a public phone in case he is checking your calls), tell them that he threatened to harm the police officer if you called for help, and also that you pass by the police station to inform them and ask for their suggestions? At the very least you will get some professional insights and prevent him from permanently keeping you under control with fear.
Please take care of yourself - what you are goint through is totally unacceptable and I believe you are in serious danger.
Best of luck.