I ended my 13yr relationship with my ex uBPD/NPDso 9 months ago - 3/4 months NC - he has tried to re-engage and we have had sporadic communication for approx 4 months. . .total NC again about a month.
He threw me into total emotional confusion. . .i kept saying to friends, "it's like he wants me to finish it, because he hasn't got the guts" - i even gave him an opt out by saying to him i didn't want him to be in a relationship where he wasn't happy. . .but he didn't end it.
Then on the other hand, he kept talking of 'future' ?
In drink, he came out with "i was his best bet". . .he had also been cheating and i strongly believe had other woman/en in place up until i ended it. If this is the case why didn't he end it. . .he obviously had lost the 'rush' (not love
) over me and had a replacement?
I have read about all the push/pull, abandonment and engulfment issues. . .is it all a process of these issues or had he really so calculatingly weighed it up and thought that he could have his bits on the side but i was best to have as a long term safety net. . .that really doesn't feel good ?