This is my last post on this thread. It has done it's job. Got me to see that I needed to 'punch my fears in the nose'.
I read kidnapped's 'reality fairy tale' and recoiled at first. Started to reply, then stopped. Printed out the story that so well reflected ALL MY FEARS. The ones that I was so very very hard trying to deny and avoid with all the caregiving. I also realize now that kidnapped has been there, in my place so filled with confusion about what is the 'right' path. I read that story several times as I stepped up and spoke my reality to DD and her friend G all day long. I had taken the day as a 'work at home day' before i let work on Tuesday. I spent maybe an hour logged in for work. The rest of the day was really WORK ON MY HOME LIFE.
So thanks to everyone for your honesty and sharing and listening and prayers. See you on the other side with my new thread.