Divorcing Me For Not Getting Her Way

[Think About It...]

Yep.  Our MC emailed my BPDw's counselor advising her of what my BPDw said in our joint sessions. I think her one-on-one counselor has not seen through the lies...yet.

for me it was interesting how my BPDw was all in love with her individual counselor up until i sent her counselor a letter stating that all the stuff my BPDw was telling her never occurred.  i think her counselor confronted her regarding the truth and then magically my BPDw stopped seeing her.  wow.

goinbonkers, feel your pain with regards to the counseling.  My BPDw was always so angry after our joint sessions, she would never (in one year) speak to me as we departed the counselor's office.  She quit going to our counselor two months ago.  She LOOOVEEESSS her own counselor, no doubt for similar reasons you expressed.  Her counselor invited me (the invite was through our marriage conselor) to attend one session to get to know me.  My BPDw NEVER TOLD ME - afraid from being exposed?  I left VM with her counselor after asking my BPDw who was non-committal.

This forum has been so helpful on many levels: others endure this life w BPD SOs; there are ways to mitigate the effects of living with someone with BPD; and the possibility of life improving (participate in your own interests, it's not your fault, do not be a co-dependent).

Thanks to all here!

[Goomba]

Yep.  Our MC emailed my BPDw's counselor advising her of what my BPDw said in our joint sessions. I think her one-on-one counselor has not seen through the lies...yet.

for me it was interesting how my BPDw was all in love with her individual counselor up until i sent her counselor a letter stating that all the stuff my BPDw was telling her never occurred.  i think her counselor confronted her regarding the truth and then magically my BPDw stopped seeing her.  wow.

goinbonkers, feel your pain with regards to the counseling.  My BPDw was always so angry after our joint sessions, she would never (in one year) speak to me as we departed the counselor's office.  She quit going to our counselor two months ago.  She LOOOVEEESSS her own counselor, no doubt for similar reasons you expressed.  Her counselor invited me (the invite was through our marriage conselor) to attend one session to get to know me.  My BPDw NEVER TOLD ME - afraid from being exposed?  I left VM with her counselor after asking my BPDw who was non-committal.

This forum has been so helpful on many levels: others endure this life w BPD SOs; there are ways to mitigate the effects of living with someone with BPD; and the possibility of life improving (participate in your own interests, it's not your fault, do not be a co-dependent).

Thanks to all here!

[goinbonkers]

My BPDw's group of friends that validate her are her family.  She calls them her only support.  Yeah support to her basically means someone(s) who just agrees with her and never makes her wrong/accountable.  Sad.

[Auspicious]

Have you read the Lessons?

You have a list of grievances, as do we all. Unfortunately, just sharing these lists with one another does not make anything better.

There are some things you can do to make life better for you. I'd encourage you to read over the lessons, and try some of those things

[Goomba]

My BPDw's group of friends that validate her are her family.  She calls them her only support.  Yeah support to her basically means someone(s) who just agrees with her and never makes her wrong/accountable.  Sad.

I hear ya...my sis-in-law ripped into me (via text) for things that did not occur, but reported to her by my BPDw.  Did not even bother "to get my side" (ie. the truth), but my counselor said that I don't have to Justify Argue Defend or Explain (JADE applies to everyone, not just the person wBPD.  Gotta admit, that part is very frustrating, but I'm sticking with it.

[goinbonkers]

It does help me to know that I am not alone/going bonkers all on my own.  It is really helping me to see that others have had the exact same experiences.  But that alone will not make things better I agree with that much. 

I will read the lessons.

Have you read the Lessons?

You have a list of grievances, as do we all. Unfortunately, just sharing these lists with one another does not make anything better.

There are some things you can do to make life better for you. I'd encourage you to read over the lessons, and try some of those things