I say good for you for recognizing the RFs.
Recently, I dated a woman who seemed quite normal. Tall, beautiful, smart kids, fun to be around.
But, at times, she would do or say things to me that seemed like she was trying to sabotage the relationship ("I'm poor, are you sure you want to date me?" "I had serious back issues, are you sure you want to date me?") Guarded? Intimacy issues?
After about four months, we had a talk about "the relationship" and basically she said, "you should just know what I need from you." I heard this over and over again with the uBPDxw.
Then, she said, "I don't think we should see each other anymore".
I replied, "Ok" and that was it. While perhaps I'm too guarded, I honestly feel like I dodged a bullet with that one.
Alchemist...I think we're growing.