A Sense of Humour

[Think About It....]

I remember Marsha Linehan discussing how she has found that a sense of humour really helps in her interactions with people with BPD, as they totally understand irony and they enjoy the mind twists of humour, shedding new light dialectically on old ideas and issues.  Our dears love innovation, re-working what is already there, re-doing the everyday, re-using castaways, re-imaging hair, taking thread and making a scarf for warmth. 
OMG!  I am a castaway, I am rejected.  I am no good.  I am rubbish.  By saving what is thrown away and making it good again and useable, I am kinesthetically acting out a healing to come.  I am creating with physical things what must come to pass in the unseen world. Innovation is the way out. 
rambling on
Reality
Has anyone else noticed this love of irony and humour?

[Reality]

I remember Marsha Linehan discussing how she has found that a sense of humour really helps in her interactions with people with BPD, as they totally understand irony and they enjoy the mind twists of humour, shedding new light dialectically on old ideas and issues.  Our dears love innovation, re-working what is already there, re-doing the everyday, re-using castaways, re-imaging hair, taking thread and making a scarf for warmth. 
OMG!  I am a castaway, I am rejected.  I am no good.  I am rubbish.  By saving what is thrown away and making it good again and useable, I am kinesthetically acting out a healing to come.  I am creating with physical things what must come to pass in the unseen world. Innovation is the way out. 
rambling on
Reality
Has anyone else noticed this love of irony and humour?

[qcarolr]

THis brings to my mind all the wonderful stories DD is sharing now about her resurrection of stuff from her dumpster diving adventures. And this is a girl with phobia about bugs, spiders, germs etc. Everything comes home to be santized with bleach in my washer. Then she reassembles and passes on to friends, family and the free clothing place - where you can just walk in and put the stuff on the shelves. And hang out for awhile soaking in some good karma - it is at the buddhist college in town. She is getting better about taking back what doesn't fit me without taking it so personal - creating angry feelings. Keep trying - you are getting better at knowing my size and taste.

And she is able to share some of her jail and homeless stories yesterday with a smile and laugh - finding humor from what was such true distress not that many days ago. Thought gd was asleep - went back to check - she asked some interesting questions about a story DD was sharing in the kitchen. And lots of questions about what happens when you get arrested and go to jail - how does it work kind of questions. Did the best I could to answer. Maybe as gd feels safer with her mom, she can ask DD some of these things. Shared all this with DD and G - they are thinking about how what they say gets interpreted by this 6 year old.

qcr 

[trytrytry]

Humor is huge for me as well as for my DD.  When I can see the humor in a situation, I've found perspective.  Same goes for DD.  She's always commenting on whether the current bf "gets" her sense of humor, and when the two of us can laugh at something together - It's a step towards health for both of us.

[Kidnapped]

This is something that has alway acted as the gateway to DD and I resuming communcation after a freak-out.  Especially now, as dsil is not from this country and doesn't grasp our sense of humor at all.  (He actually asked me if she was funny. He just plain didn't know.)  DD IS funny - and I get her sense of humor.  Especially irony! 

[Battle Weary]

Humor most important here too.  DD has a whimsical way with words that can be funny and charming at the same time.  I think it's a major reason her upstanding BF sticks it out with her despite all the bad episodes.  He's very tall and she tells him "I'm not short, I'm fun-sized!" 

We can both dissolve in giggles remembering the time she was in the ER and they put a somewhat elderly man in the other bed in her room.  Through the talk on the other side of the curtain we learned he'd had a bad fall, taken percoset, and was still feeling terrible when he came to the ER.  And eventually that he was a Catholic priest and pastor of a chucrch near us.  When they came to get him for an X-Ray, he suddenly shouted, "I can't! I've got to go home! I've got to see The Kardashians!"  It took all the willpower both of us had to stifle our laughing at the sheer incongruity of the situation.

Reality and qcarolr--interesting point about the recycling of old things.  My dd is constantly remaking her clothes--dresses into shirts, pants into shorts, unlikely bits and pieces as scarves or belts, and--ick--T-shirts into crop tops.  It used to drive me crazy--I was brought up to buy good classic things, take care of them, and wear them for years, decades even.  Much better now that I've accepted that is just not her--everything now comes from used clothing places or the cheapest mass marketers like Payless.

[qcarolr]

Reality and qcarolr--interesting point about the recycling of old things.  My dd is constantly remaking her clothes--dresses into shirts, pants into shorts, unlikely bits and pieces as scarves or belts, and--ick--T-shirts into crop tops.  It used to drive me crazy--I was brought up to buy good classic things, take care of them, and wear them for years, decades even.  Much better now that I've accepted that is just not her--everything now comes from used clothing places or the cheapest mass marketers like Payless.

She just gets so upset when I give something back to her that doesn't fit - size or style. She keeps getting things too small because she likes everything skin tight. At least she has lost lots of weight so it works for her now. 100 lbs since 2009, at least half that since she came back to our house last June. SHe is just trying to make me a little more 'up-to-date'. Or maybe my age is troubling to her that I will not always be here for her and making me look younger feels safer ? New thought

qcr

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[Violet719]

My BPDD19 has a great wit and sense of humor, though she seldom shares it with us anymore.  When she was young, we thought she had potential as a comedian or comic actress.  She definitely likes irony and dark humor.  I still notice it with her friends occasionally.  She doesn't seem to appreciate it from me, although sometimes when I make a suggestion lightly or jokingly, the message gets through, where a direct comment would be rejected.  I didn't think about that until you brought up the topic, Reality.

And another thing I thought was strange, but maybe it fits here, is that she is very attached to her old clothes.  She doesn't recycle or reuse them, but she can't get rid of them either.  I still have boxes of stuff from when she was 13 years old that she wants to keep.