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Think About It.... Most high-conflict families have one or both parents who exhibit either narcissistic, obsessive-compulsive, histrionic, paranoid, or borderline traits. They may have parents who become rigid in their perception of the other and tend to deal with things in their extremes. The parents are polarized, viewing themselves as all good and the other as all bad. These parents focus on the traits within the other parent that reinforce this perception, and they approach each new conflict as verification of just how difficult the other parent is. These parents experience chronic externalization of blame, possessing little insight into their own role in the conflicts. They usually have little empathy for the impact of this conflict on their children. They routinely feel self-justified, believing that their actions are best for their children.. ~ Philip M. Stahl, Ph.D.
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Author Topic: Any movie/TV show suggestions for kids to ID unaccaptable behavior?  (Read 570 times)
doryswimsagain
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« on: March 12, 2012, 12:14:57 PM »

My D8's T has suggested finding movies that enforce proper behavior of men with their children and GF/wife...or, conversely, identify mentally/physically-abusive behavior as unacceptable.

Anyone have suggestions? This came up when D expressed to me that all men are mean, scary and break things when they get mad or sad (like my stbx)...since I have no man in my life now to show her otherwise, movies/tv seem a method that may resonate with D. (strongly opposed to productive therapy due to some hard core brainwashing from the enemy camp sad )

Thanks!
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Pilate
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« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2012, 12:49:37 PM »

Good role models (and I'm dating myself):
Family Ties
Cosby Show
Dick Van Dyke (all these are on cable in regular repetition or you can check out episodes at a library)

Bad Role Models
Everybody Loves Raymond (lots of yelling and manipulation to have needs met)
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JustSaying
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« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2012, 01:00:23 PM »

I agree with Cosby and Family Ties. D watched Full House, too. Hannah Montana wasn't bad.

For movies, Parent Trap does ok.

Can probably be left unsaid, but...not Ally McBeal. At least not till she's 18.  cool
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Althea
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« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2012, 01:01:22 PM »

Little House on the Prarie!  Her age, she will likely get sucked into the series.  Love it.   Doing the right thing
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beyondbelief
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« Reply #4 on: March 12, 2012, 01:13:03 PM »

Hook with Robin Williams.  Peter Pan story...Father goes through a lot to rescue kids.
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doryswimsagain
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« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2012, 01:15:43 PM »

Can probably be left unsaid, but...not Ally McBeal. At least not till she's 18.  cool

Gotcha  Doing the right thing    lol

Thanks, I needed that!
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Rose1
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« Reply #6 on: March 12, 2012, 04:31:20 PM »

Now this is interesting - I can only think of movies that show bad behaviour. Definitely not "Everyone loves Raymond" - that reminds me of my exBPDmil.

He might be a bit young but "To kill a Mockingbird" was great - kids growing up in a single father household with a very principled loving dad, during a period of great stress in the South.
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DreamGirl
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What would Yoda do?


« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2012, 05:36:58 PM »

Hey there Dory.

Finding Nemo has a really good dad in it.  grin

I think this is really interesting advice. Quick search on the net, and I found these recommendations - with corresponding age appropriate suggestions:

http://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-lists/movie-dads

http://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-lists/Best-Dad-Daughter-Movies.html

My favorite kid movie of all time is Because of Winn Dixie:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317132/

It's based on the book, protaganist is a 10 year girl whose Dad (Jeff Bridges) is a preacher. Best part is Dave Matthews is in it... and he sings.  
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ForeverDad
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« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2012, 05:58:34 PM »

How about books?
What (normal) Dads Can't Do
What (normal) Moms Can't Do
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doryswimsagain
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« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2012, 09:55:02 PM »

I. Love. This. Forum.  grin

Thanks!

Dreamgirl, so funny! We just got Wynn Dixie a while back and LOVED it.  Yes, a very good one, and ditto on Dave! *Sigh*
I especially liked that Jeff Bridge's character does not attack the character of the abandoning mother, but rather emphasizes her positive traits.  Great websites, too, thanks a ton!

Rose, I completely agree about Everybody Loves Raymond. Yick.

FD, these are great. Books are a huge weakness of mine...dying to throw those into the 'ol Amazon cart...just gotta get paid first   rolleyes


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little doggy
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« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2012, 09:17:29 PM »

Hiya, really good topic. Absolutely agree with Finding Nemo and To Kill a Mockingbird. On the bad side consider "Tangled". Even my D7 could see inappropriate behaviours in the "mother" role and I could have a chat to her about better behaviours.
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truthwillsetyoufree

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« Reply #11 on: March 22, 2012, 01:25:36 AM »

We recently watched the Puss in Boots movie, and I personally got upset about the humpty dumpty character. First he was bad, then good, then bad, then good. Way too confusing for a little kid, I think. Maybe I'm just hyper-sensitive due to current situations with BPD...  wink  ;p
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doryswimsagain
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« Reply #12 on: March 22, 2012, 06:58:56 AM »

Agreed on "Tangled."
Haven't Seen Puss in Boots, yet.

I did find another explicit example of abusive behavior that is unacceptable to put away for when Ds get older. It's called "No One Would Tell" with Candace Cameron (Full House) and Fred Savage (Wonder Years). True highschool story of a physically/mentally/emotionally abusive bf.  Ends in homocide. Wacthed it w/o the kids recently, and there were some very alarming similarities to my marriage  cry

My biggest fear for Ds is that they will seek out men later who mimic their dad's behavior.
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Rose1
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« Reply #13 on: March 26, 2012, 05:56:08 AM »

Interesting - from a longer out perspective I enjoyed Puss in Boots and the Humpty character didn't trigger me. progress! I thought he was extremely well drawn and obviously a PD of some sort - that sweet, not my fault smile just before he does something else bad. I liked Jack and Jill - totally different to how I always pictured them.  grin
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