Mr Charming

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

I can see it with different eyes this time with thanks to this forum.
My H, now that we have settled on the definite of divorce is trying to impress me with his thoughtfullness ans reasonableness. Dressing nicely, showering and shaving and inviting me home for dinner.

I know what this is...its called ...um?

reeling me in?

not happening..Ive got too much riding on staying sane. (or more so, getting my sanity back)

[Happiest]

I can see it with different eyes this time with thanks to this forum.
My H, now that we have settled on the definite of divorce is trying to impress me with his thoughtfullness ans reasonableness. Dressing nicely, showering and shaving and inviting me home for dinner.

I know what this is...its called ...um?

reeling me in?

not happening..Ive got too much riding on staying sane. (or more so, getting my sanity back)

[Carri1]

Yes stay strong!  Don't cave!  Ya know if they could just stay like that it would be so wonderful.
They cannot without the right T.   

[GreenMango]

Happiest,

This is the dance.  It could be:
-he got relief for his uncontrollable emotions by pushing you away with the divorce threats
-he could be acting civil to ease the divorce
-he could be sincere in wanting to be nice for awhile
Regardless of his intent do you want to be in a marriage with someone who constantly threats his withdrawl from the relationship with divorce.  It stalls any forward movement, healthy bonding and intimacy inherent in a good marriage.  I'd take him up on the divorce offer...you deserve to be happy.

-GM

[Happiest]

Happiest,

This is the dance.  It could be:
-he got relief for his uncontrollable emotions by pushing you away with the divorce threats
-he could be acting civil to ease the divorce
-he could be sincere in wanting to be nice for awhile
Regardless of his intent do you want to be in a marriage with someone who constantly threats his withdrawl from the relationship with divorce.  It stalls any forward movement, healthy bonding and intimacy inherent in a good marriage.  I'd take him up on the divorce offer...you deserve to be happy.

-GM

dont worry gm, its divorce without a doubt...what i know that he doesnt know i know is he has contacted a female client and let her know he is relocating his business to work from home. Its the same client that I watched him flirt with and he acted out that i was insane when I asked him what that was all about.
he also has his wedding ring off. this is not about wanting me back...its about keeping me on the good side so I wont let the police know he is growing dope. Its a tactic.

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)

[nona]

Yep  Damage control


Im calling it.


Mine too.

In fact I just referred to MY "Mr. Charming" in the codependent line up post.

I am also getting long somewhat rational emails. With a good bit of shaming wove in, and "not really sorrys"
LOL.    Im sooooo used to those.  Im sorry you are taking it the wrong way.  were the words!

How I can keep up the fight if I insist on being , spiteful, hateful etc (I guess this is how he experiences NC ) LOL !


(he writes convincing letters all day) Im not impressed.

And he is so slicked up and lookin so good and smiling.

Too bad My r charisma fried his brain with porn. I used to think it was endearing.
Oh MY!