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Have been NC contact from my BPDexgf in over 3 weeks but I get a call late last night from her telling  me she just needed to talk to me and that she was sorry and missed me. I didnt talk to her but her Voicemail she sound drunk.

[mitchell16]

Have been NC contact from my BPDexgf in over 3 weeks but I get a call late last night from her telling  me she just needed to talk to me and that she was sorry and missed me. I didnt talk to her but her Voicemail she sound drunk.

[moving1]

Hi mitchell16 - so she misses you so what, when she woke up I bet she didnt! You've done so well having gone 3 weeks NC, dont ruin it. Peace.

[123Phoebe]

Hi mitchell16 Hi!  Good for you, not taking her late night call   By not responding, you're setting a great example (and boundary for yourself!), that drunk calls at that hour are unacceptable.  No response (from you), is the best response to such immature behavior.

We teach others how to treat us by what we accept; the good, the bad and the ugly...

she just needed to talk to me and that she was sorry and missed me. I didnt talk to her but her Voicemail she sound drunk.

Sounds like it was all about her, in that moment - she needed to talk to you, to make sure you were still there.  In the light of day after she sobers up, let's see if you still get an 'I'm sorry' AND an apology for calling so late.   

Don't settle for anything less

[sunshinegrrrl]

Yeah, keep NC. I went for a month then broke it. What a dumb move on my part. My BPD friend turned into a monster in a week, started puting me down again, split me to black again after I refused to pay for fixing his roof and now wont answer my calls.  The only thing I got out of contact with him is he told me a few things that confirmed my suspicions about some crushes I though he moight have on two women. One was a 20 year girl that is too young for him another is an ex of his who he swore he hated when he first met me, ugh. Now I feel dumb and ashamed I let him contact me.

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)

[jalk]

Sunshine...don't feel stupid or dumb for allowing him to contact you. Just keep what he did to you in your backpocket for reference when he tries to pull another contact with you.  They are disordered people. Any contact with them is going to be messed up. Lies, deceitfulness, raging, all part of what they are about. NC will save your sanity and give you the feeling of respectfulness. You deserve to be respected, not shat on ...

[redfeather]

Wont work if you wont allow it.  Hi!

[Sabine]

Mitchell,
Nothing has happened...yet! Just don't respond. It's your ego that may want to call her back and know that if you contact her you will be opening it up to get hurt again. Tell yourself that it's her way of controlling you and your not falling for it. That's worked well for me in the past. It's hard not to respond but keep the upper hand and push the delete button. You'll thank yourself in the long run.

Good luck...keep us posted! 

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