Finally detaching... what a long strange trip it's been

[Think About It...]

I figured this was the best place to post this one, as it pertains to the final detachment from my xunpdbf.

We had broken up for the last time in early September 2011, with me asking him to move out.  Unfortunately, I had taken a loan out in my name back in April of that year, when we were still trying to work things out, for a jeep for him to use to get to work.  When we split, I let him keep the jeep, with the agreement that he'd continue to pay the monthly loan payment, and insurance.  Since then, I have had to hound him for the money, and it's never been on time.  We had little contact during this time.

Well, he recently got a dui, and is going to lose his license, probably go to jail for a bit (this is his 2nd in 10 years), and after he gets his license back, which could be up to 18 months, he would need to get a breathalizer built into the car he is using, which doesn't allow the car to start if he has been drinking. So, the jeep now became not useful for him, and more of a burden, with me telling him to make up his mind if he wanted to keep it, or give it back to me.  He just called and said for me to come pick up the jeep at his place while he works.  Funny thing, my new "boyfriend", who knows about the situation, is driving me out there today.  I hated to ask him, but he is so cool and understanding, and did not hesitate to say "of course" when I asked. 

Unfortunately, I cannot afford it.  I have my own vehicle that is paid off, and don't need a 2nd one that has a payment.  There are still 4 years to go on the loan, so I most likely will be having to let the bank repossess it.  Not sure about what to do, but I know I'll figure it out.  A hassle, some financial loss, credit issues, etc.  I take full accountability for making the decision to take out the loan in the first place.  So, I'll handle it the best I can.

The good news out of this is that there is no need to ever communicate with him ever again.  That was the last thing that kept us linked.  I have posted about trying to remain friends, or have some contact, as long as it didn't effect me, but at this point, I have decided it's time for NC, and NC for good.  So, even though I will have a bit of an issue with the fall out from the jeep being returned to me, the big picture is that I am finally done. 

[Want2know]

I figured this was the best place to post this one, as it pertains to the final detachment from my xunpdbf.

We had broken up for the last time in early September 2011, with me asking him to move out.  Unfortunately, I had taken a loan out in my name back in April of that year, when we were still trying to work things out, for a jeep for him to use to get to work.  When we split, I let him keep the jeep, with the agreement that he'd continue to pay the monthly loan payment, and insurance.  Since then, I have had to hound him for the money, and it's never been on time.  We had little contact during this time.

Well, he recently got a dui, and is going to lose his license, probably go to jail for a bit (this is his 2nd in 10 years), and after he gets his license back, which could be up to 18 months, he would need to get a breathalizer built into the car he is using, which doesn't allow the car to start if he has been drinking. So, the jeep now became not useful for him, and more of a burden, with me telling him to make up his mind if he wanted to keep it, or give it back to me.  He just called and said for me to come pick up the jeep at his place while he works.  Funny thing, my new "boyfriend", who knows about the situation, is driving me out there today.  I hated to ask him, but he is so cool and understanding, and did not hesitate to say "of course" when I asked. 

Unfortunately, I cannot afford it.  I have my own vehicle that is paid off, and don't need a 2nd one that has a payment.  There are still 4 years to go on the loan, so I most likely will be having to let the bank repossess it.  Not sure about what to do, but I know I'll figure it out.  A hassle, some financial loss, credit issues, etc.  I take full accountability for making the decision to take out the loan in the first place.  So, I'll handle it the best I can.

The good news out of this is that there is no need to ever communicate with him ever again.  That was the last thing that kept us linked.  I have posted about trying to remain friends, or have some contact, as long as it didn't effect me, but at this point, I have decided it's time for NC, and NC for good.  So, even though I will have a bit of an issue with the fall out from the jeep being returned to me, the big picture is that I am finally done. 

[ellil]

Can you sell your paid off vehicle for cash and refinance the auto loan with the extra money for a lower monthly payment? (If that's even possible.) Or list the Jeep on craiglist and whatever your local publications are and try to sell it?

I agree, a lower credit score is well worth even less connection to an exBPD, but still, maybe there is a perfect ending.

I don't know how I escaped a long term marriage, selling a house during the worst real estate market in generations, and escaping a BPD relationship with my credit intact and my brain still in my head.

M

[Want2know]

Funny how life goes, but the new guy I am seeing works selling trucks, and knows exactly what I need to do to escape a real issue.  He was the one that went out there with me to get the jeep.  Of course it being St. Patty's day, we proceeded to hang out at the local Irish pub and have a great time...Irish car bomb, anyone?  Sure!  I really needed to just let loose last night, for sure, and what a perfect day to do so...how can you be sad on St. Patty's day...I'm not sure that it's possible 

Some final thoughts on my xunpdbf...he left me the jeep with dog hair all over the seats, and obviously was avoiding doing somethings to the jeep (bad rotors).  Came to find out he had called another mutual friend asking if he would tell me to come get the jeep, and that he had lost my phone # which was the reason for him not calling me directly.  Well, that's b.s. because I left my # on his machine 3 days in a row.  He was just such a coward that he couldn't even call me.

I did leave him a note at his place when I took the jeep.  It had a document that had been mailed to my house for him, and his w-2 forms for his taxes...all I put was "sorry it didn't work out for you...take care".  It was about all I could choke out.  Done.