Suggestions on encouraging H to restart T

[Think About It...]

My BPDbf was going to a T and it really seemed to be helping but then he lost his health insurance and couldn't afford the $200/hr. That was 4 months ago...he now has insurance again but is feeling hopeless and says "i think my mind is too far gone for him to help"...any suggestions on encouraging him? And of course I know I can't control him and I'm not trying to, just trying to help him feel better...THANKS

[BelievenHope]

My BPDbf was going to a T and it really seemed to be helping but then he lost his health insurance and couldn't afford the $200/hr. That was 4 months ago...he now has insurance again but is feeling hopeless and says "i think my mind is too far gone for him to help"...any suggestions on encouraging him? And of course I know I can't control him and I'm not trying to, just trying to help him feel better...THANKS

[Wanda]

validating helps alot: Under lessons there is alot of information on valadation.
example
   when he says I think my mind is too far gone for him to help;;
 your responce would be   I see you have  doughts about going to theropy  (would you like to talk about Them?)
 validating his feelings .. I am not the best at validating i think  because i don't have to use it to often with my husband  but there are many on here who are pros and will chimein... and give you examples better then mine.

[MacGyver]

Believe
   Sorry to hear your bf is going thru a tough time. My ex is in therapy right now and one of the book they work out of is "The Dialectal Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook" the green one. Its at most of the local book stores.
I've read it as well and I think it's worth you taking a look at.
Mac

[Auspicious]

wanda has some good advice above about emotional validation - he'll be more likely to see you as an ally if you can validate his feelings (which doesn't mean agreeing with his plans or facts) about thinking he is too far gone for therapy.

Possibly:

"Wow, that has to be scary, thinking you are too far gone for therapy! Maybe you could call the therapist and see what he thinks about that?"

But you need to sound - and be - genuinely understanding, not just focused on pushing your agenda.


By the way, a book that might be helpful to you is I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help.

[Steph]

He sounds scared. Another option could be to suggest he see the same therapist and let them decide if his "mind is too far gone"..which, of course, it isnt.

 Excellent he has insurance and excellent that he is talking about this stuff!

Steph

[BelievenHope]

Thank.you all its been a few days since I've been on...I actually just got the dbt workbook...also got a few other books too so I hadn't spent a lot of time with the workbook. I'm going to give it to him today. He recently tried to overdose so he actually called the T himself...progress. only problem is the T doesnt accept his new insurance but told him he may be able to get "out of plan coverage"...fingers are crossed because he really needs this, he is actually scared himself now. Guess I'll start with the workbook and of course the validating (thanks for the specific examples). Thank you all for your help, it is greatly appreciated!

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