Did you see that as a
in retrospect? Poor timing? Holy cow, try poor impulse control!
Definitely. There were alot of things like that he would do. He would constantly say "I'm sorry, I hate being mean to you". And always felt the need to say how much of a caring person he was. But his actions never matched up with his words.
It's like he loved to say embarrassing things to mutual friends especially, and watch the discomfort on my face and smile the whole time. It was really sick. The only time he would be direct and say truly insulting things to my face were during the occasional rage but almost every time he opened his mouth it was laced with this sneer. Some of the most slimy, subversive, passive aggressive crap you can imagine. It was so cowardly, he could never show displeasure in an adult manner and was too hypersensitive to even think of actual conflict.
One of his favorite hobbies was browsing and flirting with internet dating profiles of guys. Almost always long distance. when I say long distance I mean like someone on the east US coast chatting up someone in California and sending nude pics with no intention of ever meeting in person He would do this constantly. I guess the distance mitigated any real fear of being abandoned. Anyone that was more attractive than him and was confident (not cocky, just secure) he would send an unsolicited message with just the word "narcissist" and then immediately block so they couldn't respond. That was probably the biggest
. anyone with a shred of self worth was automatically a deemed a narcissist to him. Projection much?