"I find this site helpful but is there a way I can use it and not talk about him and just focus on my self. Will this time pass?"
You can use it without talking about him,but the more you supress your feelings,the more chances of being depressed or having those emotions hit you all at once.The good thing about this site is,we can post anonomously,get validation here instead of with friends who are usually tired of hearing our crap
,and get insight into BPD and other PD's.
Yes,this time will pass.Posting in the "Taking Inventory" section is a great place to focus on yourself.I've found that reading about BPD,my co-dependant habits,and other books have helped as well.There are stages we go through when grieving a loss.Try to just let them happen and go through them.It helps.I promise.