Feelings and Facts

[Think About It...]

My good friend...you will KNOW when enough is enough (fact), and act accordingly...even though you may still be conflicted (feelings).

I am very glad to hear you have good friends and family to support you...know that there are many people here that will do the same...

[Newton]

My good friend...you will KNOW when enough is enough (fact), and act accordingly...even though you may still be conflicted (feelings).

I am very glad to hear you have good friends and family to support you...know that there are many people here that will do the same...

[DS]

Just on this last note, can you get contraception of some kind for yourself (without him knowing if needed)? Is there a clinic in your area? YOU have the right to prevent yourself from becoming pregnant.

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? This board is for analyzing and making the decision to either continue working on your relationship or to leave it. If you have already please advance to "L3 Leaving" or the "L4 Staying" board. All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)

[momtario]

It is looking like I am going to have to, even though I have problems with morning sickness and hot flashes when on the pill. I looked into other options, but those were not allowed by my doctor, because I am considered high risk for the potential negative side effects.
I do have a prescription in for it now. Which is probably good, cause it's only by the grace of God that I haven't gotten pregnant in the last 4 months, and as my mother always says "God only helps those that help themselves," so taking BCP secretly seems the only option, because I am not letting him rope me back in that way again.

[argyle]

Thought about getting your tubes tied?

--Argyle

[momtario]

If I were thinking I was staying, I probably would go that route, but as it is... that just seems a bit too permanent, y'know? Sometimes I think I am done with babies and diapers and not sleeping for months at a time... and then my 6 month old nephew smiles at me... I still get baby fever too often to do something that permanent. Many of you might be thinking "she's crazy! She has 3 and still wants more?" I get that a lot in real life too. But, I went into my marriage wanting to be one of those families with 8 or 9. 4 doesn't sound so bad now, does it?

[momtario]

Another fact is that I have been sitting on a gold mine. I don't know why I never remembered this before, but that friend I keep talking about? She is also a SAHM, but she gave up her career as a legal aid in order to do this.

I think I might ask her how much she knows about these issues and the legal aspects thereof, or how to find out, or even just how to find a free lawyer.

[momtario]

So, I am thinking I am going to have to put a bit of a rush on the practical stuff one needs to do before leaving. I am pretty sure he noticed me disengaging.

[momtario]

Just an update on this... Over the past few days a few things have happened that have made it that my fear of leaving is no longer greater than my fear of staying, so I have decided to slowly and carefully move forward with a separation and probably divorce, with the help of a friend who is a paralegal. The same friend I had thought was a legal aid. She no longer has her license so she can't actually represent me, but she said she would help me draw up the initial papers when I am ready and help me with most of the leg work.

[argyle]

Congratulations and best wishes. 
--Argyle