After his birthday yesterday and no contact from him during that time, despite the fact we were ok prior to that. I called him today and asked him why he was ignoring me. He said the battery was low on his phone- I said you could have called the flat or the restaurant from a landline so it was really no excuse. I let him know I wasn't happy at being excluded for the first time in 10 years together. He did apologise but, if I am honest, it didn't feel like a genuine reason for not being in touch. Later I texted him. I have copied the messages for you all to read, as I am confused by them. The missing talking to me, missing his best friend part- is that all I am to him now or is that his way of saying maybe he feels the same as me? We have had this converstaion before. He seemed to think being best friends was an issue in a relationship wheras I said to him I see it as a bonus. Not often in our lives we get the chance to be in relationship where you can be lovers and friends not either or. Here is the message- any input greatfully recieved.
me: sorry for being grumpy! last days have been hard being excluded when I used to be part of your family and your life
him: thats ok. My fault. should have thought about charging my phone. sorry.
me:I hate sometimes that I make you think I am angry when really I am just hurt. but you probably know that about me anyway.
him: Yes. I know sometimes you have problems expressing yourself...
me: Don't you too? Maybe thats why we are in this situation now.
him: I know
me: Text me tonight when you finish if you want. I missed it last couple of days.
him: ok I will if its not too late
me: have I ever said it was too late?
him: no but I do sometimes
me: what you mean? The time I texted you? If you are up you can text. If I am asleep I wont reply. If you don't want to I can't force you.
him: i've moaned about the time before. thats what I meant
me: I know you were a grumpy git.
me: ok have a good shift, maybe later?
him: ta. ok if not, tomorrow def
me: ok. I might have trouble expressing myself sometimes. But I do miss you even though I try not to. sorry
him: thats ok
me: not the reply I had hoped for I guess.
him: I missed talking to you
me:just talking? just asking?
him: yes. missed talking to you. x
me: so you don't miss seeing me? thats sad for me.
him: I miss seeing you too. I miss my best friend. x
me: me too. more than you can imagine.
me: ok get ready for work before I start crying again.
him: ok. text you later. x
me: ok bye
him: bye x