D15's tantrum.

[Think About It....]

My insurance covered it. Still an expensive copay. Worth every penny though.

Maybe she can pray about that little detail.   

~DG

Ps. Better God then her mom. Been there too.  ;p

Actually, she is usually very appreciative.  She had a bad week or so but generally she gives me lots of very sincere feedback.  And she thanked me yesterday (but not on Facebook).

This is generally the pattern - she is slow to say when there's a problem, then gets upset and it comes out;  I find the best solution I can;  and she sees that and is very appreciative.  I think the key improvement we need to make is talking about stuff before it gets to that point.

[Matt]

My insurance covered it. Still an expensive copay. Worth every penny though.

Maybe she can pray about that little detail.   

~DG

Ps. Better God then her mom. Been there too.  ;p

Actually, she is usually very appreciative.  She had a bad week or so but generally she gives me lots of very sincere feedback.  And she thanked me yesterday (but not on Facebook).

This is generally the pattern - she is slow to say when there's a problem, then gets upset and it comes out;  I find the best solution I can;  and she sees that and is very appreciative.  I think the key improvement we need to make is talking about stuff before it gets to that point.

[DreamGirl]

 

I was just teasing...

My son is also a bit of an entitled brat (like a lot of teens). My overcompensation has a lot to do with that also though.

Good stuff, Matt.

I'm glad it worked out. 

[Matt]

I think what she is most likely going through is not so much, "Who is mostly responsible for what will happen?", or even "What is the best treatment option?", as "What is going to happen to me next?".  That is, she's been feeling horrible about her appearance, and wants to know if it will always be like this, or when it will get better.

I tried to reassure her all along that it will pass, but it's been so long - yesterday she said 3 years, which I think is an exaggeration, but that's how it seems to her - that she surely has been doubting if it will ever end.  And previous treatments have been offered with, "Let's try this and see if it works".  I'm sure she's been following the instructions carefully, but they've hardly helped at all.

This is the first time anybody has said to her, "This will work."  And the doctor's manner was very understanding, sympathetic, and optimistic - exactly what she needed (assuming the treatment will actually work of course).

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? The focus of this board is about understanding the child, their needs, and supporting them in an intelligent and non self-sacrificing way. If your topic is mostly about the other parent and you are divorced, please go to Rebuilding our Life. If your topic is mostly about legal/custody issues, please go to Family law, Divorce, and Custody. If your topic is mostly about the other parent and you are still married, please go to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner. If you need help moving a thread, please contact a moderator. We are glad to help. :)

[doryswimsagain]

So glad to hear that things are working out.

This reminds me of how much it sucked to be a teenage girl 

Hang in there, Dad, there are so many things going on in that poor girl's head on any given day.  She is so blessed to have you. 

Despite your beliefs, her FB post indicates that she truly trusts in a higher power...in my experience there no feeling better than the comfort that God is guiding you in the right direction.  That is a powerful statement coming from her.  Cherish it

[Matt]

Despite your beliefs, her FB post indicates that she truly trusts in a higher power...in my experience there no feeling better than the comfort that God is guiding you in the right direction.  That is a powerful statement coming from her.  Cherish it

Yeah, she knows what my beliefs are, but I try my best to support her own beliefs, and I've only seen her faith be a positive influence in her life.  If I'm just me doing my best, or if He is working through me, doesn't really matter to me, as long as I am doing what I can...

Thanks!

Matt

[mikmik]

Matt,

and I hope I have the right Matt for the other board...  I posted the link for parents to the Project Borderline site.  Thank you.  Seems several folks have visited the site.

One thing I want to point out, and it may seem obvious, is that I am guessing you have never been a 15-year-old-girl.  I have.  And, speaking bluntly, I would rather go through child birth without aide of pain meds than go through that age again.  It seems like it will never end, and girl world is nasty. 

Also, I was married to a BPD from whom my kids witnessed odd scary crappy BPD behavior and now have a dd18 (thank you genetics).  Her odd behavior was always present, as many of us parents of kids with BPD can attest to.  Tread carefully Matt by bringing up any comparassion between your D and ex, even if it is just to open D's eyes to snotty behavior.  Your D knows your feelings about your ex,  and to in ANY way compare your D to her, ouch.  BPD is awful, my kids HATE it in their dad, and my dd18 hates that she is like her dad.  BPD in kids is WAY obvious. It is scary, not subtle, and is tied to so many other challenges.  Your D sounds like she may be in some pain, dealing with some confusion, and is what many of us parents on the other board wish for in our dear ones, being  normal.


mikmik   go bears.

[Matt]

Thanks mikmik - that web site is pretty cool - for years we've talked here about how great it would be if someone famous would "come out" with BPD - it seems likely lots of them have it - but surely the nature of the disorder works against that happening.  Now Brandon Marshall has come out in a big way - he seems very genuine and committed to not only his own recovery but also turning it into a positive thing that he can do for others.  He's not the most super-famous guy but the way he seems to be going about it looks ideal, and he's now with the Bears so that will raise his profile somewhat I think.

You're right, I've been 15 but I do think girls are much more aware of who-likes-who;  my SD22 went through that phase for years - daily talk about who looked at her the wrong way and who she thinks likes her and doesn't like her, til I wanted to scream "I don't care who likes who and I don't want you to obsess over that either!  Do your homework and get good grades and have the life you want to have, and let that stuff take care of itself when you're thirty!".

On top of that, her current best friend is the daughter of a guy I have worked with - a successful entrepreneur - our house would fit in their living room - but very self-righteous and judgmental (though his daughter is great).  So D15 has that looming over her - they're rich and we're not, other girls have clear skin and she doesn't, etc.  (But her grades are great and she's going to a really good school where academics rule - some good things she appreciates.)

I don't believe for a minute that D15 has BPD, I just worry a little that her behavior could go wrong.  At her age, SD22 went through some struggles, and emerged pretty good but still has some issues around her mom - way too enmeshed and in denial about stuff that happened and continues to happen.  And SS34 was hurt very badly and may never recover fully.  So it does get under my skin when I see grossly inappropriate behavior again after a few years of steady improvement.  But mostly I think she's doing fine and was just under extra stress last week, and didn't handle it well...

Thanks everybody!

Matt