dating someone

[Think About It...]

What do BPD do when they find out you're dating someone? Do they finally leave you alone or ?

[vangirl60]

What do BPD do when they find out you're dating someone? Do they finally leave you alone or ?

[JustSaying]

There's no generalizing...all unique.

[ibelieveinus]

In every case that my ex got wind I had a new man in my life he tried to come back.

[diotima]

I am keeping mum about my new boyfriend;) No telling, but it has been a year. Maybe my ex figured it out or it got through the grapevine somehow (a year since the breakup) because he tried to initiate contact this past week--sent email (got through my filter) and said he would be in town yesterday. I didn't respond and thankfully I was gone for 14 hours...
Diotima

[Zaza42]

Be prepared! They come back with more tact and charm than ever before trying to win you back. It's all completely grotesque and self centered though, don't be fooled.

Block everything, etc.

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT The objective of this board is to learn and apply healthy emotional practices to the rebuilding of our love life. This board is about the discipline and strength of making those hard choices in life for good sustained emotional health. It is about not repeating the problems of the past; it is about understanding the wounds and baggage we carry forward, it is about healthy and practical ways to build new relationships. Click on "more information" for access to the lessons.

[suzn]

There's just no way to answer this question. No one can predict. A reaction could range from anything to nothing. Unless your ex has presented you with a situation you have are forced to deal with why focus on what ifs? Cross that bridge when it comes, if it comes. 

[seeking balance]

Be prepared! They come back with more tact and charm than ever before trying to win you back. It's all completely grotesque and self centered though, don't be fooled.

Block everything, etc.

Hi Zaza,
It sounds like you have a lot of anger going on here, did you have something like this happen to you?

Peace,
SB

[seeking balance]

What do BPD do when they find out you're dating someone? Do they finally leave you alone or ?

Predicting the future actions of another human being...well, that is a big challenge!

The thing is, as many people as there are in this forum, we all have had different experiences.  pwBPD react based on emotion many times - so the context, their current emotional stability and their life all determine how they may react.

Can you tell us more about what prompted your question?

[Zaza42]

That was my experience. I guess we had a mutual friend and he showed him my Facebook page and he was right back to contacting me. Trying to recycle when I was in a relationship after 6 months NC. I would have been indifferent to it until the suicide threats became a big deal. I wish I had held true when I told him I was going to call the police. I feel just so betrayed that he would minipulate me with suicide. Telling me word for word that his blood would be on my hands, no one else's, mine. Well he got me to meet him secretly (at the time) and he threw a temper tantrum that ended up in me being physically pushed, grabbed and in the end, punched. It's taken me a while to come to terms with it. I just felt so mentally weak.

[seeking balance]

That was my experience. I guess we had a mutual friend and he showed him my Facebook page and he was right back to contacting me.

wow, that doesn't sound so much like a friend - sorry that happened to you.

As much as my friends really roll their eyes at me, this is one of the reasons that I just don't post anything about my life on FB.  I know others here love it and I am not judging it at all - for me, I just decided that I didn't need my life to be public knowledge...it's been nice.

Trying to recycle when I was in a relationship after 6 months NC. I would have been indifferent to it until the suicide threats became a big deal. I wish I had held true when I told him I was going to call the police.

if there is a next time, you will just call 911 - it really is that simple.  The thing about boundaries; once we establish them - it is easier to keep them.  I am sure you did the best you could with the info you had when that happened.

I feel just so betrayed that he would minipulate me with suicide. Telling me word for word that his blood would be on my hands, no one else's, mine. Well he got me to meet him secretly (at the time) and he threw a temper tantrum that ended up in me being physically pushed, grabbed and in the end, punched. It's taken me a while to come to terms with it. I just felt so mentally weak.

I am sorry that happened to you zaza - both emotionally and physically you were harmed.  Unfortunately, suicide threats sometimes is real and sometimes a manipulation tool - since we don't know which; calling 911 is the only real solution.  Those folks are better equipped to handle whichever scenerio plays out.

Hang in there,
SB

[trax]

Mine comes around relentlessly and I tend to regress a bit because dating someone new is uncomfortable for me anyway.  Working on that!