Preface: I'm going to refer to my new bf as "dude", because that is what my male housemate calls him. My housemate, I suspect, has Asperger's syndrome, and tends to talk a mile a minute, so it's easier for him to not have to recall his name, and instead call him dude. I initially thought he did this because he was somewhat jealous of dude, and didn't want to personify him, but I now think it's because of his condition. Either that, or he has some obsession with The Big Lebowski that I am not aware of.
Anyway...I asked dude last night why he likes me. It wasn't out of insecurity, but more out of curiousity. I used to ask my xunpdbf why he liked me when I was on the brink of splitting with him (which was often), just to see if there was any reason to continue with him. He could never answer my question directly. He would always get defensive and then make me feel insecure about asking him, and said stuff like "I'm here with you...that's all you need to know".
So, I was interested to see what dude would say.
Dude smiled, and his facial expression showed he was thinking, and he came out and said the most wonderful things in a tone that was excited, like he was so excited I was like what he was describing because, as he put it, he has never met someone like me, and really likes all these qualities that I have that he's always wanted in a partner. I could tell he was not b.s.ing me, as what he said, in good detail, is what I like about me. What a cool thing.
And then of couse, he asked me what I like about him. I guess I didn't expect him to ask, so at first I was quiet and then started to think and finally all these things started pouring out of my mouth. As I heard myself saying them outloud, I was thinking, yeah, this guy is awesome.
It was such a nice conversation, and one that never happened with my x. I am starting to see what we can learn from each other. Mutual respect and the ability to receive love...something that neither of us had with our ex's. What an interesting time of my life right now. Dude!